As Jonny Faull raises funds to go to Harvard [permalink]
Somebody told me the other day that "your Net Worth is your NetWork" and I couldn't agree more (we've chatted about the book, Never Eat Alone). That's pretty much how I work things and I'm always keen to help someone out that I believe in. You know, someone I can place a bet on. Or, more to the point, someone who looks like they could be heading into the political arena!
Whilst donations to political parties are heavily scrutinised these days, there's nothing like getting in with someone on the inside, before he even gets there!
Enter Jonathan Faull (UCT) who has recently been accepted to the Kennedy School of Government at Harvard University, to pursue a Masters in Public Policy (MPP). A week later, still doing cartwheels, our boy found out about the costs of the course. We won't mention exact fugures, but let's call it half a bar!
Check out the website and let's give the boy a hand. You never know how handy it could be! Personally, I think the ROI is bigger than we think.
NOTHING wrong with having a guy inside one of the big campaigns in years to come.
YOU: Hey, Jonny....I'm having a bit of a problem and I need some paperwork to disappear. I just remembered a few years back when you were raising funds to go to Harvard and you had that website and I...
We don't make obvious jokes, here at 2oceansvibe; preferring CLEVER jokes... sophisticated jokes. It is for that exact reason that we will refrain from making any lewd "ring" jokes to do with the fact that this topless scene comes from Mischa Barton's new movie, Closing the Ring.
I'm not kidding - that's what it's called.
Click image for NSFW image of Mischa Barton's Tuesday Tabs.
Mischa Barton, Closing the Ring
I'm quite pleased with her form. They're a great size. Great shape. Very comfortable. Good work, Misch kebab!
It wouldn't be fair to not tell you about the video of this scene being available on the internet. So I'll tell you. It's available on the internet. If you want to see it, click the link on the "i" of "2oceansvibe," below.
Does it get any better than morning shower on Camps Bay beach? [permalink]
I know people who, at the right moment in the year, would pay up to R20,000 to land in Cape Town, have a morning shower on a hot day on Camps Bay beach, and fly STRAIGHT home afterwards. And I don't mean just a normal beach shower. I'm talking about a PROPER shower, with soap. And lather.
The Roofer was in Camps Bay on Friday and made use of his phone camera to send me a very special MMS.
Aah, good morning to yer!
R20,000 experience
How about that? Our homeless buddy over here basically MADE R20,000 on Friday morning!
That is what the future will be like. We'll be able to plugin to other people's minds, for a fee - to experience what they're experiencing. People will pay this homeless guy R20,000 for that hour. I tell you what, he won't be homeless for very long after that! Instead, he will increase his fee, and let you experience boning one of the models that follow him around.
Hello, good morning! It's a public holiday over here in South Africa so I ask our international readers to forgive me - my offerings will be completely random today. I've got breakfast at Cappers with my G Man shortly - perhaps our pre-breakfast joint will create an interesting forum for discussion.
In the meantime, I wanted to highlight the importance of saying the line "who's the best pilot" from the movie Top Gun, properly. Ice Man (Val Kilmer) seems to be eating a handful of bar nuts when he delivers the line. So much so, that he doesn't quite finish the word "pilot" and it comes across as "piler" or, even, "piley." It's pretty fucking funny.
Saturday night at The Assembly - 2oceansvibe competition [permalink]
From Baraza to Ibiza!
Just back from their World Tour playing with the likes of Macy Gray and going HUGE by signing up a residency at Pacha in Ibiza (headlining with Basement Jaxx and Faithless), Dom and Baby-Jesus (Goldfish) have put together a couple of exclusive live gigs in town to keep the local fans' blood pumping!
Their new album "Perceptions of Pacha," will be on sale at each venue, before it hits ALL MUSIC STORES countrywide! It's also, obviously, available at Kalahari. Christ, these boys have gone big! Their album is also about to be released WORLDWIDE by Pacha Records.
What's more, 2oceansvibe is giving away FIVE pairs of tickets for tomorrow's gig at The Assembly in Cape Town. That's right, you can skip the fucking queue! And we'll throw in FIVE CD's AS WELL! That's how absolutely crazy things are around here at the moment!
To win tickets for Saturday night's gig at The Assembly in Cape Town, email editor@2oceansvibe.com the answer to the following question.
What is Seth Rotherham's middle name?
First five correct answers win a pair of tickets and a CD each!
"The 26-year-old American kept her poise and that's why the lady is now a champion, becoming the first woman in a century of open-wheel racing to win an event after taking the checkered flag in Sunday's Indy Japan 300.
"Dreams really do come true. You just have to be persistent enough," Patrick said. "This was a long time coming. I can only say I'm just glad it's over.
"I'm not going to lie. I was getting frustrated. I believed in myself. It was just a matter of when it was going to happen. I've been asked so many times when I'm going to win my first race -- finally no more of those questions."
Patrick jumped to third in the Indy-car points list after three events, 14 behind Brazilian leader Helio Castroneves, and will be the talk of next month's Indianapolis 500, where her fourth-place effort in 2005 is the best by a woman."
Whilst there is no parallel parking involved in Indy car racing WHATSOEVER, I must admit, that is pretty impressive. I'll tell you what's even more impressive are these shots taken for FHM magazine in 2003.
"Actor Billy is now moving back to Los Angeles for good after moving out of their £1million farmhouse in Kent.
A source said: “After much soul-searching, Kelly decided that Billy is not the man she wants to marry and has called off the engagement.
“The split is completely amicable (whatever - Seth) and the decision was made after long conversations here and in the US. They remain good friends.”
The couple had planned to tie the knot in a romantic ceremony at their 600-year-old farmhouse last year."
Whilst I certainly am pleased that she is back on the market, we should really take a moment to reflect on the fantastic age gap between the two of them! Tapping that at 42.... jeez, nice work, Billy!
We should listen more to our friend Billy Zane - he's a cool dude.
Skateboard brand Zoo York viral video hits the net [permalink]
I was chatting to The Advertising Guy earlier today and he told me about this new video they recently made for Zoo York skateboards which has just gone viral on the so-called "internet" (you'll remember The Advertising Guy featured recently on 2oceansvibe alongside Vanilla Ice).
They got a bunch of skaters and punks to spray paint the Zoo York logo on the back of thousands of cockroaches and let them loose all over Wall Street as they skated between the traffic and people. It's pretty sick.
Let's allow a moment to reflect on what Leo DiCaprio was tapping for a while - planet earth's highest paid model, Gisele Bündchen.
This time, in jeans.
Gisele
Special.
That's basically what you're looking for. I'm fine with her flowing hair. It will get a bit ruffled when we play fight with pillows, naked. But we'll brush the knots out later and spend the rest of the evening on the sofa, platting her hair and drinking champagne. We'll joke about different baby names. I'll push for Magnum if it's a boy.
I took the liebies of adding one more shot of our girl at the same shoot - just in case that wasn't enough.
Everybody knows that it is not often that one truly captures the sunset in a photograph. People who show holiday photos of sunset after sunset, do not realise that they mean pretty much fuckall to the person they're showing them to. It means the world to the guys who went on holiday.
Like this photo I took last night from The Safe House over Camps Bay.
ANOTHER sunset!
But the photo is not the point, you see. The point is that Capetonians constantly take photos where they live. They keep countless pictures of sunsets and everything else.
Incl. flights, accommodation and prime seats for two! [permalink]
Oh my God - this is too much to behold! Our friends at PlayEuroMillions have put together a competition for 2oceansvibe readers to win the trip of a lifetime to the jewel in the jewel in the crown of the annual sporting calender - the 2008 Monaco Formula 1 Grand Prix.
And it's not just a trip - it's luxury all the way, baby! You'll be sipping champagne with the rich and famous - JUST like 2oceansvibe would want you to! The prize is pretty extensive, so let me break it down for you.
The Prize Monday 19th May - Arrival
Boscolo Palace - FINE!
Arrive in Nice on Monday 19th May and transfer to your hotel, the luxurious Boscolo Palace. When you enter the palatial white building on the Angels Bay you'll discover a resplendent world of refinement, exquisite taste and flawless service that will dazzle and seduce you. Our rooms are deluxe-rooms on the 5th floor, looking out over the ocean and palm trees. The rest of the week at your leisure to view this magnificent city.
The spacious rooms are decorated in sun-kissed shades of pale yellow, creamy-white and pastels with an authentic French flavour. You can relax in comfort, enjoy a movie or satellite TV, or access the internet through your in -room connection.
Friday 23rd May - Celebrity Dinner
Chill with David Coulthard at Hotel de Paris
On Friday evening our guests will congregate on the Churchill Terrace at Monaco"s exclusive Hotel de Paris for a drinks reception with David Coulthard and Allan McNish. The terrace overlooks the harbour and will offer the guests the opportunity to chat to the drivers, gleaning exclusive insight into Formula 1 and the race weekend ahead.
After drinks, an exclusive dinner will be served outdoors on the 1st floor Garnier Terrace, overlooking the world renowned Casino Square. From this stunning vantage point you can take in this absolutely unique ambience. With the intrigued "public" milling amongst the rich and famous, this is an experience that will live with you forever.
Saturday 24th and Sunday 25th May - F1 Monaco Grand Prix
Monte Carlo - Sexual
On Saturday and Sunday the racing will be viewed from our exclusive outdoor terrace at Le Saint Benoit restaurant. With stunning views over the harbour to Rascasse, the cars race beneath the terrace up from Saint Devote to Casino Square. Allan McNish, former F1 driver (Toyota and Renault) will provide a pre race briefing, highlighting what to look out for and sharing invaluable insight into the Monte Carlo street circuit.
With only a 5 minute walk to Casino Square, plasma screens throughout, private tables, one of the finest lunch menus in town, full and complimentary bar and a quite stunning ambience, there really is nowhere better to base yourself for this exhilarating weekend.
It's a bit ridiculous, isn't it? And the best thing about it is you can get as many entries as you want! I've already organised five entries for myself. Opportunities like this can't be missed!
Karim Rashid has done another STUNNING collaboration with Veuve, in the form of the Veuve Globalight!
The Veuve Globalight. Give it to me.
I know! Have you ever wanted anything more? God, it's too beautiful for this world - I want it inside me. According to LuxuryLaunches:
"The limited edition champagne holder (only 500 pieces created) features pure and sensual lines. This is the second collaboration between Veuve and Karim following the "Loveseat" last year. The Globalight is a multi-functional holder; a portable cooler with a soft halo of light (keeping the champagne at ideal temperature for 2 hours) and a decorative design piece on its own."
Oh my God they only made 500! There simply MUST be a 2oceansvibe reader out there who has managed to get hold of one as a gift for 2oceansvibe? Surely I should experience it for everyone? And, lasting 2 hours, it will be PERFECT for those Eskom power cuts! God, can you IMAGINE!
It will go so beautifully with the Veuve Loveseat I have in the den. Funnily enough I just found a picture of one of my bodyguards, Panda, making a toast one Christmas to an ex-girlfriend of mine.
Needless to say, Panda and Bianka ran off to the Maldives together..
I must say I wouldn't mind just chilling with my babe on the sofa, being served by a gorgeous little elf, serving us Champiz with the Veuve Globalight.
Not many girls have made such an impact to warrant a second look on Tuesday Tabs, but Eva Herzigova really does have something special. In fact I made up a saying that explains this quite well - it goes "one good turn deserves another." Not bad, hey? I made it up after seeing two supermodels in a row.
Click this pic to see Eva more clearly.
Eva rustles up some lunch at the French villa
I'm fine with that.
That's the kind of stuff you'll see in the kitchen at the villa in France. That's after she climbs out the back of the chauffeur driven S-Class which fetched us from the airport where we landed in one of the private jets I picked up from FUTURE EXOTICS in Cape Town.
Now THOSE guys have some nice toys!
They're the guys who brought you FutureFin. Remember them? They make it easier for you to buy Ferrari's and other supercars.
In a classic God against Satan reality clash [permalink]
It has all the makings of a great biblical clash! Like that time in Jericho when Moses fed doves to all those people on Noah's yacht and everyone was smoking olive branches and Noah parted the sea and Kelly Slater surfed passed on a crucifix. Remember? It was hectique! Judas was inside LYING to everyone as usual. Cocks were crowing - fuck it was mayhem!
I've clearly been in another world for the last week because it looks like good is attempting to overcome evil again, in the form of Katie Holmes (God) going for a separation vibe from Tom Cruise (Satan). Ja, like that'll happen. You'll find it tricky to get away from Tom after he removes your spleen with his mind. Check out this vibe in one of trash media's most respected tabloids, Star Magazine.
Don't cry mommy? Come on, guys.
Christ, they must have sold a fuck load of that issue. Even chicks who REFUSE to buy tabloid mags wouldn't be able to resist a pic of an adorable lonely-looking semi-brainwashed child, with the words "don't cry mommy" next to it. Come on, guys - you PUSHED it there!
Shame, I knew this would happen. You might remember three years back when they were first getting together. We did our bit. That was before it turned into a clusterfuck. I wouldn't mind taking Katie for round two, mind. That's what a lot of the guys are saying these days. Let them learn... there's less of a rush the second time around. Although, with Katie, you never know. It could VERY easily be a carefully crafted plan of Tom's to get into my mind and enable him (Tom) to get into your minds via 2oceansvibe and take over your soul. We can't let that happen. That is why, right now, I am giving you my solemn vow never to pump Katie Holmes. That is how much I love you. Right there. FACT.
You'll enjoy this very recent interview with Jason Beghe, the actor from CSI, Everwood and Numb3rs, who has recently escaped the grips of Scientology. He was one of its highest ranking members and one day he realised what was going on and he got the fuck out. Check out this STUNNING video where he basically tears the religion apart, limb by limb.
I always wondered how Richard Quest was able to stay so vibrant and bubbly and energetic for so long. Finally, everything becomes quite clear.
Richard Quest - in the dwang
Cops arrested our boy in Central Park this week, after noticing him wandering around at 03h40 in the morning (the park has a 1am curfew). But that's not my favourite part of the story.
The police noticed Mr. Quest at 64th Street and West Drive at about 3:40 a.m., the official said. As he was being escorted out, he volunteered, “I have meth in my pocket,” according to an official briefed on the case. The police searched him and recovered a small amount of methamphetamine in a Ziploc bag.
Thank God he is not a full time criminal. He certainly wouldn't last very long. Telling the cops about illegal things you're doing will almost always stunt your criminal career.
So he enjoys a bit of Meth. I see. That makes sense. I read on the internet that it causes "euphoria and excitement" - that's pretty much spot on when it comes to Richard Quest.
For those of you who don't know, methamphetamine is pretty much the same thing as our local drug of choice on the Cape Flats - TIK. The only difference is TIK makes you want to rape people and blow their heads off.
As we experience a very rare TRIPLE ROLLOVER! [permalink]
The guys at PlayEuroMillions are doing it again and I tell you what, it plays with my mind. That is nearly a BILLION Rand! There is only one way to handle this kind of temptation - spread the risk, people!
It's the only option - NOT ENTERING is NOT an option.
Every week The Johannesburg Attaché and I buy 5 tickets each and we agree, before the draw, to split any winnings between the two of us. We also make sure that we have each other's number BEFORE the draw! Not that I'll be able to keep a straight face landing in my private jet and pretending that business is going really well!
Last week when they had the double rollover, we bought 5 tickets each. Although we didn't win much, our winnings (you usually win a little bit - here and there) were enough to convert into 10 new tickets for today's TRIPLE ROLLOVER jackpot. You see, the guys at PlayEuroMillions have a system that let's you convert your winnings into new lottery tickets, at a greatly reduced price. So you can buy nearly twice as many tickets for the same price! It's a good vibe.
So now we're in with a chance again. Seven hundred meelion Rand! What would you do with that?
"I wouldn't change much. I'd pay off the bond on my house and send my mom on an overseas trip and set her up for retirement."
Two words : BULL SHIT.
You're lying. You've got $89 million. Only a FOOL wouldn't buy this little puppy here for $59 million. God, EVERYONE will LOVE YOU!
The Personal Jukebox, Sox, was out and about the other day and parked in one of those parking spots on Somerset Road, below Tafelberg furnitures. When he came back to his car, this is what he found.
Hello! What's this?
As you will notice, the blue Jeep had parked our boy in. Quite rudely, I might add. Sox approached the car and noticed something on the windscreen. "What's this," Sox thought to himself.
"Look for me @ Tafelberg Furniture.
- Jeep"
Jesus! Can you believe it? She leaves a note telling him to go and FIND her! It's amazing! And then she signs off "Jeep," like you can tell which people in a shop drive Jeeps.
Incredible! I SINCERELY hope the chick was hot. If she was, then it's excusable. If she wasn't, then I hope Sox punched her in the face.
In other traffic news, Andrew E sent in this in from Jo'burg. It seems a crane bit off more than it could chew. Come on, guys, it'll be a basic maths equation to work out if the crane can pick something up or not. It's crane science - not rocket science.
You've heard about the South African Chief of Police, Jackie Selebi's Hummer. You wondered if the rumours were true and what the car looked like. It couldn't be true, you thought. It's too over the top.
I doubt you ever imagined it would be THIS over the top.
Note POLICE branding on the side, as well as badges.
You'll find this is probably Jackie's Hummer.
Come now.
thanks Barn Dog
Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com [permalink]
17 April , 2008
"THE KITESURFER" ON TODAY'S SHOW
A MASSIVE moment in the history of the world [permalink]
Regular readers will know quite a lot about The Kitesurfer and would have followed his every move through these pages over the last few years and, most recently, his move into the now famed Camps Bay Castle. The emails and requests to have this giant of a man on The 2oceansvibe Show have now become too much and I must submit to you. Marcus Brain (The Kitesurfer) has agreed to join us today where we will discuss everything from kite surfing and car restoration (Marcus, at one stage, single handedly restored an MG), to relationships, vintage Vespa's and family values. NOT TO BE MISSED!!
Marcus Brain
"The Kitesurfer"
Send in your questions about anything for today's LIVE online 2oceansvibe Radio Show, and I guarantee you The Kitesurfer with tackle it with glee, using his own special brand of pride and pomp.
Ladies, I thought it pertinent to add that The Kitesurfer is single, has INCREDIBLE breeding and is first in line to a SUBSTANTIAL lifestyle and future, for you both. This, combined with his incredible endowment, is an opportunity NOT TO BE MISSED!
Don't forget that during the show you can SKYPE our assess. That's right - if you have headphones and a microphone then you can send in a LIVE SKYPE PHONECALL (for free) to the show.
We take all calls sent in whilst the show is live (when there is not a song playing). Our SKYPE callsign is "the2oceansvibeshow."
You can also SMS question/topics/rantings to +27 76 9073679.
Human baby chocolate - I'll give it a bash! [permalink]
Wow! This is QUITE a big vibe - but I'm fine with it. What they've done is they've created a miniature baby human being chocolate. It looks real in every way - even the various colourings. Do you read me? It's identical to an actual human baby. It's like you're eating babies! Jesus, are we ok with that? (Look, we've all eaten a real baby before but, I mean really, we were TEENAGERS!)
Shame, Heather Mills is STILL learning about cause and effect [permalink]
You see now, what happened here is Heather Mills was so focused on her short term goal of getting stacks of money and fucking over Paul McCartney, that she didn't realise that her method would cause not just him, but most of planet earth to hate her. She didn't weigh it up properly.
Short term gain vs. long term fuckup.
Heather Mills - still learning about cause and effect
You see, she didn't handle things very well with Macca and now has to leave the UK because everyone hates her! And she's RUNNING TO THE UNITED STATES where she thinks she'll be less of a target.
"In England, people don't like me.
"But I'm going to move to America, Los Angeles hopefully. I love England but everything that has happened makes me realise I'll be better off in the States."
Following her stint as a judge on Miss USA, it seems she has made her already bad name even worse and they hate her there as well now.
Mac J wrote in asking for a "sister" to be featured again on Tuesday Tabs, noting that I would be surprised at the level of readership among our brothers. Fair point, Mac J. But let's not be selfish - why should it only be you that gets to enjoy a bit of Moca? Trust me, there is a bit of jungle fever out there.
We're all God's children - let's share nicely.
Quietly click Davina Mulimbi with me..
Ow, SHAIYA Divina!
thanks mac
Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com [permalink]
15 April , 2008
READ THIS VERY CAREFULLY
CALIFORNICATION starts tonight on MNET (channel 101) at 22h30 [permalink]
Not since the days of Entourage have I been more serious about wanting you to watch a TV series. Tonight is the start of a series on MNET called Californication. It is on at 22h30 and I would imagine will run every Tuesday at 22h30. I recently had the pleasure of watching the whole of the first season on DVD.
CALIFORNICATION Starts tonight, 15 April 2008, on MNET at 22h30 I'm claiming it.
It's basically what you've been yearning for. The main character, Hank (played by David Duchovny) is a writer who is suffering from writer's block, following the huge success of his first novel. He is riding the wave nicely and bones as many chicks as possible (good camera work in that department) whilst trying to deal with where his life is going. He does this in a way that us Capetonians can relate to - he drinks and smokes pot on a daily basis, as he drives his fucked up Porsche from one date to another. And his agent is just as confused - but that's another steamy story altogether.
Another angle to the whole vibe is his ex-wife and daughter, who are now living with this new guy. Oh, wait. She's not ACTUALLY his ex-wife 'cos they never got married, but you get the picture. So the ex-wife and their daughter are living with this new guy (a bit of a dork) and our boy, Hank, OFTEN stops by their house and makes himself at home, openly flirting with his ex in front of the dork. It's pretty wild.
Oh, the dork ALSO has a daughter of his own living in the same house.
She's 16.
She's hot.
I won't ruin it for you, but, you know - expect anything...
I chatted to seven different professional sportsmen and women over the last week. My selection ranged in sports type, from tennis players to rugby players. There were no cyclists. Each and every one of them agreed that they wouldn't THINK of hanging around in ANY public area either during, or after indulging in their sport - LET ALONE sitting and dining in any form of cafe or restaurant.
It's not acceptable. I promise you right now. People moan about it. CONSTANTLY. Are you guys aware of that? Seriously, it's really bad. And we're not even getting into the fact of how ridiculous it looks.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to "have a go" here. I'm seriously trying to help you here. The general majority doesn't like it. Whatsoever.
Inappropriate.
We'll discuss the Crocs another time.
I couldn't imagine a group of soccer players
dining at Giovanni's after training - in their full kit..
Now, please, before that froth forms anymore around your mouth - THINK before you follow the urge to email me and rant and rave. Take this from whence it comes - the general public doesn't like it. It's one thing causing mayhem on the roads - but must you force it upon us in our shared public and social environment?
"Controversial" "writer" caught in video with four black whores [permalink]
I made that headline up. It's for effect. Seriously, chill out. Whether it's true or not, is another story. The point I want to stress here is: A), who gives a fuck? And B) who the fuck is David Bullard?
Those of you who missed the story about the little boy who led a coup d’état in his dormitory, it was one of the biggest stories in the playground. It was, like, so cool!
There simply cannot be anything worse than witnessing someone who believes that their recount of popular (albeit exhausted) rhetoric is actually original. And, even worse, someone who thinks that their repitition is controversial! And then one is further subjected to the sight of others not realising this and hailing it as "oooh, so very clever," thus also exposing their immense ignorance and naivety (NOT WITH REGARDS TO THE CONTENT OF HIS ARTICLE - BUT THE MERE FACT THAT HE THINKS THE THOUGHT-PROCESS IS ORIGINAL)!
Are you with me? It's like when someone sends a group email with the subject, "This is BRILLIANT!!!" and in the email is a link to the video of the monkey that smells his finger and falls out the tree. Some people reply all with "oh my God! That was hysterical!" But the vast majority, who are more well-informed, stay silent; not having the heart to tell the newbies that it's one of the oldest viral videos on the internet.
The viewpoint (Bullard's 'angle') has long been discussed at braais - really, it's nothing new. Sometimes people get confused as to the level of the company they are keeping and the conversation can get heated, but hopefully it is handled in jest which is how We broach it, if We must. I often use the "look what we've done for you" joke with my close friends of darker hue, and the sketch usually goes on with a retort along the lines of "sure, using my people as slaves!" and so it goes on, usually with us collapsing in a heap of laughter. Then we open another beer and pretend to argue about whether or not the moon landing was real. It's a great game to play - if you have the strength to act it out again.
Variations of the topic/argument/discussion/viewpoint have long been written about and emailed all over. I noticed one was published on this website and, more to the point, the writer had the energy to respond to it - paragraph for paragraph.
You get the point. It's not original and it's not controversial. Therefore if you celebrate it, you look stupid. Seriously, you do. It's nothing. It's a vacuum.
It's like spending two hours talking about how stuck-up Cape Town chicks are. We've chatted about that a thousand times. What difference is it going to make? We don't have time for that. Let's focus on trying to pick up those two chicks over there.
Bullard has previously suggested that blog writers are pseudo journalists. Fair enough - but if I had a choice between that and being a journalist parading as an intellectual....
I do love the more mature Sea Point Jewish fraternity and, in particular, the classic fashion statements that come with it. We're all too aware of the old ducks in their 70's with pink hair, boob tubes, hot pants and a blind Yorkie in their arms - they're quality. But we haven't really focussed on their male counterparts, and BOY have we been missing out! They seem to all look like Italian mafia bosses trying to BLEND into normal society. You know, the ones who ran from Sicily when they heard Vick "the Dagger" Vincenzo was after them. The FBI were all over them in the States, so they quietly slipped into South Africa. They always have a certain "blending-in" sense of fashion, which is the look you get from the old boys in Sea Point. This shit is out of Donnie Brasco - these guys are SLICK!
Too cool!
Let alone the shirt and glasses (VERY cool), I assume you took into account that those are Von Dutch shoes with American flags on them? Come on, MAN!
Kfm's original "Hardiman the Partyman" joins us on the 2OV Show [permalink]
I'm very excited about this - It's going to be a show not to be missed. My good friend, Kfm's drive time DJ, Richard Hardiman is joining us today at 15h30 (SA time) for another installment of our live-streaming online radio show, The 2oceansvibe Show.
For those memories that need jogging, you'll remember Richard Hardiman is the 3pm to 6pm drive time DJ on Kfm. He is currently doing the morning show (6am to 9am) in place of Nic Marais (who seems to be holidaying an awful lot) and that is why he is finally able to do The 2oceansvibe Show (our shows clash on a Thursday (*ahem* even though the Kfm studio tunes in to The 2oceansvibe Show during song breaks)).
Richard is a close friend of 2oceansvibe and can be seen on the 2oceansvibe Characters list as "Harders." Not that you need to go there to check out his vibe - I found a pic for us to peruse right here:
Richard Hardiman THROWING it at the camera!
(is my perfect chin bothering you?)
Jesus, check his vibe!! I think that pic is just brilliant. It's like he's responding to someone swooning over the perfection of his facial bone structure. "Oh, I'm sorry, is my perfect chin a problem for you? What exactly is getting in the way of us having a normal conversation without you gasping for breath? Is it my amazing stubble?"
Just teasing, Harders!
So those of you in internet land looking for a good time, better get over to our show at 15h30 because I promise it is going to be good fun ("off the hizzo" as the kids are calling it these days"). Richard has all SORTS of stories to tell, from tales of hanging with the likes of Sting and Bryan Adams, to never being able to shake the "Hardiman the Partyman" tag - as well as his time as an executive VIP looking after "whales" in the Vegas gambling industry. It's gonna be hysterical!
Oh, Harders also has secret aspirations to do stand up comedy. That'll be a hoot!
We'll also touch on the fact that he is now happily married (with child) and how difficult it must be with all the beautiful babies out there trying to bone him - now that he's grown up and all. *cough*
Don't forget that during the show you can SKYPE our assess. That's right - if you have headphones and a microphone then you can send in a LIVE SKYPE PHONECALL (for free) to the show.
We take all calls sent in whilst the show is live (when there is not a song playing). Our SKYPE callsign is "the2oceansvibeshow."
You can also SMS question/topics/rantings to +27 76 9073679.
Finally, hand-picked gifts with quality presentation - at your leisure! [permalink]
I recived this gift from Dail-a-Surprize on my birthday and, I'll be honest, I was pretty fucking impressed. This is premium, high quality stuff.
Check out what I got:
Quietly enjoy the little dinky bottle of Moet!
Very naughty!
What was in the box, you ask? Well, OBVIOUSLY it was a brand new 4-year-old Campbodian child (I have names her Tevvy, which means "angel") , to add to the very few I have left, living under my floorboards. This new addition will increase my flip-flop production considerably! I just never remember to feed them so the numbers have, admittedly, dropped.
Just kidding! (Or am I?)
Seriously though, you need to check this website out. Finally someone has got it right - the layout is brilliant and they can deliver ANYTHING for you from flowers to chocolates to champagne! And, as I said, you can be assured that when it gets to the receiver, it's quality!
It was the You Tube awards the other day and one of the most bizarre videos you will ever witness in your life, won. AP Reports:
"Tay Zonday morphed from an unknown musician to an Internet superstar who got booked on national TV shows after his song "Chocolate Rain" — an amateur clip of his baritone crooning — went viral last year. Now he's among the 12 winners of the second annual YouTube Video Awards, recognizing the top user-created videos of 2007."
Check it out (this has been seen over 18 million times).
Fin24 reports that Camps Bay has pipped Constantia as SA's priciest suburb. Average house prices surged 56% from R4.48 million in March 2007, to seven bars in March, 2008.
Camps Bay - "living the holiday" can be pricey
The article, based on data found on the South African Property Transfer Guide (SAPTG) had this to say:
"The Atlantic seaboard suburb of Camps Bay saw average house prices surge by 56% over the past year to R7m in March 2008, up from an average sales value of R4.48m in March 2007. That places Camps Bay as SA's most expensive suburb in SAPTG's monthly top 10 survey of highest average sales value achieved.
SAPTG's data, which is sourced from the Deeds Office, applies only to property transfers of up to R20m.The survey is divided between suburbs were 10 or more sales are achieved per month and suburbs with less than 10 sales.
The Cape Town suburb of Constantia ranked second after Camps Bay as the highest-priced residential neighbourhood in SA (10 or more sales) with an average sales value of R 5.95m.
In the "less than ten sales" category, Cape Town again boasted the highest priced suburb in SA, with Fresnaye on the Atlantic seaboard taking top slot with an average sales value of R6.9m." [more here]
Ja, Atlantic seaboard real estate - everyone's an expert, but they're always dying to hear what you think. No one knows their arse from their elbow.
"When do you think the right time to buy is? I reckon it's slipping.."
"I don't know, bru. But you've been asking that same question every year since 1994 and, in that time, I've seen guys buy and sell 10 houses."
"Ja, but.."
Whatever, do what you want. Or, at the very least - rent it!
It's no coincidence that Cape Town's Atlantic seaboard is currently the hottest travel destination in the world.
Speaking of which.. look at this little pad.
Camps Bay - rent it!
Nice! That's what I'm talking about! I found that pic on my favourite Cape Town holiday rental website. Click here to check out the biggest range of Cape Town and Atlantic Seaboard rental properties. Even if you're not interested, you just have to check out the places they've got! Jeepers! Over 400 properties for everyone from paupers to movie stars. There's something for everyone.
I often laugh on a Tuesday when I realise it's getting late and I still haven't put up Tuesday Tabs. I couldn't IMAGINE those of you at your desks having to leave work at 17h00 without your Tuesday fix. So on some Tuesdays, like today, I can be seen in a mad scramble looking for topless women on my hard drive and the internet. And the clock is ticking. And then I find some. But then I get fussy. Then I decide that today I want a brunette. And so it goes on - this mad FRENZY to urgently publish the photograph of a topless woman on the internet (made all the more ridiculous with these pink shades on). Hysterical.
And so, today, I give you Peta Todd (no relation). You will be flummoxed when I tell you that Peta, here, is sporting a real pair. Yup, that's right - those puppies are genuine.
Peta Todd - the real deal
How do I know?
Well, let me introduce you to something I stumbled upon whilst researching the history of time. It's called Zoo Magazine's top 100 Real Boobs.
Hey, no problem whatsoever. Nah! Seriously! Don't mention it.
For the SHAPE Sanex cover look competition 2008 [permalink]
Ok my darlings, it's time for the troops to rally 'round again! This time we're gonna get involved, very briefly, and vote for Katherine Scott for this year's SHAPE Sanex cover look competition! I know, it's all very exciting!
Katherine Scott.
2oceansvibe's choice - YOUR choice
Why did we choose Katherine, you ask? Well, it's quite simple - she's a very good friend and supporter of 2oceansvibe. She's also pretty hot...
Let's cross over to a little video snippet of the angel.
I'm fine with that! She's given it a good shot and I think we should show her our support.
Come on, team - do the right thing. It's support like this that keeps 2oceansvibe going.
French luxury yacht seized by pirates. Arrr! [permalink]
I have some friends who are ADDICTED to pirate stories in the press, and you can understand why. It's just so RADICAL in this day and age to think that there are ACTUAL PIRATES, cruising around, hijacking yachts and ships. I think it's fucking AWESOME!
Le Ponant - quite a serious yacht
Like this one that happened about 3 days ago off the coast of Somalia. Luxury French yacht, the 288-foot Le Ponant, was stormed by about 10 PIRATES! They took over the ship and are now holding about 30 crew hostage. Hah! Can you imagine the pirates as they arrived on board, tuning the chicks, "Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so jolly?" Hahaha! If the chicks were into it (which MOST chicks are - let's face it, pirates are a MAJOR turn on) then they would probably reply something like, "That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!"
Back to the story - look, I know it's quite serious, but it's still fucking cool when they say things like "the pirates took the yacht back to their lair." AWESOME! I want a lair! I suppose I have a lair, don't I? The Safe House is my lair. And I'm pretty much a pirate. This was effectively proven the day when The Kitesurfer and I hoisted the skull and crossbones at the other Camps Bay property I sometimes dwell at - The Castle!
Pirates in Camps Bay!
Treasure inside..
I know! It's just too amazing to behold! Click link to find out more about The Camps Bay Castle.
Back to the story, The Independent reports that the pirates and yacht are being followed by the French navy, who are hoping the pirates negotiate nicely for the release of the yacht and crew. A yacht of this size (four decks, two restaurants and a swimming pool) could result in quite a handsome ransom for the pirates ("handsome ransom" - I like that). In February the Danish government forked out $700,000 for the release of one of their tugboats. Nice, guys! VERY effective returns! Check it out:
"Although piracy is on the increase, it is rare for such a spectacular vessel as Le Ponant to be seized. The ship has four decks and two restaurants. It was was heading from the Seychelles in the Indian Ocean to Alexandria in Egypt to pick up 64 passengers for a Mediterranean cruise.
The yacht was hijacked by 10 pirates, believed to be armed with automatic weapons and rocket launchers, as it steered towards the Red Sea and the Suez Canal on Friday afternoon. The ship's owner, Compagnie Générale Maritime, said that it had been in contact with the ship and that the crew, which includes six women, was safe and well. It is believed that the pirates stormed the ship by means of a staircase, leading to the upper decks from a swimming deck at sea-level.
Although modern piracy is often associated with Asian waters, the International Maritime Bureau lists the most dangerous coasts in the world as those of Somalia and Nigeria. Since the collapse into anarchy of the east African nation after the 1991 civil war, many fishermen have armed themselves with automatic weapons and hand-held rocket launchers and taken to piracy in the Gulf of Aden."
Interesting. Let's check out some more shots of Le Ponant and then we'll wrap it up.
Nice
This guy is not a pirate
If he was a pirate, he would have had his way with her by now..
The pirates will enjoy sundowners at the pool
Let's keep our eyes on that story as it develops. If YOU want to learn how to talk like a pirate (you do), as I have done throughout this article, CLICK HERE!
Old Woody went to spend time with Owen Wilson the other day in Florida. Owen was in town filming his new movie, Marley & Me. Good to see Owen moving forward after nearly taking his life over this.
Moving SWIFTLY on, one should take note that Woody was caught on camera having a quiet skinny dip. Boys and their games! I tell you! Takes me back to midnight skinny dips at the Newlands swimming pool. I remember the one time the girls voted which of the guys had the best bum.
Yup.
Obviously.
Anyway, here's Woody's ass. Click the pic to zoom in.
The bridge submits to Woody
Savour the taste, girls. It's back to tits after this.
The "funniest man in America" tours SA for the first time [permalink]
Chris Rock (black) is hitting SA in June as part of his constantly sold-out "No Apologies" World tour, which kicked off in New York on New Year's eve. This is big news, pet. Chris has not had a live tour in three years and, upon announcement, sold out London's 20,000-seater O2 Arena in minutes, breaking all box office records. He is the number one rated comedian on planet earth and was described by Time Magazine as "The funniest man in America." You get the picture.
This cannot, and WILL NOT be missed.
Seriously, Warchild.
Chris Rock - no relation to Kid Rock (white)
I cannot WAIT for someone to send me my VIP tickets! Who's it gonna be? Marina? Sascha?
Durban - Tuesday 3 June - ICC ARENA Cape Town - Wednesday 4 June - GRAND WEST ARENA Jo'Burg - Friday 6 June - CARNIVAL BIG TOP ARENA (awesome) Sun City - Saturday 7 June - SUPERBOWL
(I see we're spending an extra day in Cape Town.)
We're gonna end off with one of Chris Rock's famous live performances, where he discusses rap music. This has been watched over three million times on YourFace.
Our three week excursion provides time for reflection [permalink]
I decided to embark on a journey - a holiday of sorts, to the "other-other side." Whilst the Southern Suburbs crew refer to Cape Town city and the Atlantic Seaboard as "the other side" and vice versa, it becomes confusing telling your friends in either of those locations that you're on "the other side," when you're actually on the Noordhoek and Kommetjie side of life. That's why I designed the name "the other other side." I also like the name "The Valley" which is used by the locals. That's kind of cool, 'cos it lends itself to the famed tag given to the San Fernando Valley in L.A., California (The Valley) often referred to in films.
And so I found myself comparing the routes to and from The Valley, depending on the various functions, engagements and bar mitzvahs I had to attend - it's either Chapman's Peak or Ou Kaapse Weg (or helicopter). I'm more of a Chapman's Peak man myself, and thoroughly enjoyed the staggering vistas and powerful sexual suggestiveness of it all; as you will see in these stunning pics I took a couple weeks back when the ocean was a flat as a pancake (another new saying I made up recently - 'cos pancakes are flat - get it?).
Click images to enlarge.
Sexual Healing - Chapman's Peak Drive
(looking out over Hout Bay and Long Beach) The elusive number to dial to check if Chapman's Peak is open
is 021 791-8222 or 021 791-8220, by the way.
Put it in your phone NOW so you can save the day, someday.
Living in The Valley presents a very real return to family values. A genuine "village" without electrified fencing, Noordhoek is one of those places where your neighbour will greet you at the local store (where you buy "provisions," not "groceries") and your children are safe to ride the streets on their trikes as the sun sets (look, it won't hurt to have nanny supervision). Not to be confused with Fish Hoek and Simonstown, Noordhoek is completely free of pedophiles.
Pets and wildlife are pretty big on this side of life, and "LOST HORSE" signs are commonplace (did they find that horse?). Local restaurant, heartbeat and hub, Cafe Roux, even has a PET'S MENU where nibbles are available for dogs and horses. Seriously, I'm not bullshitting you. Check it out.
The Cafe Roux's pet menu.
Right up there with Thursday braai nights (a must)
featuring the sublime Dan on guitar.
Spending my final weekend in Kommetjie sealed it off and I left The Valley with a sense of purity. Now, back at The Safe House in Camps Bay, I feel cleansed inside. A feeling which was complimented with a very thorough symbolic wash upon my return (EVERYTHING - hair conditioned, body cleansed, face exfoliated, feet scrubbed and pubes trimmed). After the wash, I stood, naked, in front of the full-length mirror and had a good look. I must say, I liked what I saw. I remember thinking to myself, "my God, Seth, you're in bloody good nick!"
Much confusion as Kid Rock rumour continues [permalink]
You've probably heard the rumour that Kid Rock was spotted drinking 2oceansvibe's beer of choice, Jack Black. No-one knows where the rumour started but we've spoken to people who swear it's true. Whatever, we'll continue waiting for proof.
With a name like Kid Rock, the confusion is further compounded with the surfacing of this pic of an ACTUAL kid holding a Jack Black beer.
I don't know what the fuck is going on, but I can tell you right now for damn sure that this kid is on the right track!
Tatum - prefers Jack Black
Our sources tell us that the little girl's name is Tatum. Nice.
This also confirms two things. 1) Chicks also dig Jack Black and B) Jack Black looks cool in anyone's hands.
As Matt gets a bit on the side of the box [permalink]
Look, it's not like he brought the wrong order or got lost or anything radical like that. I'm just SURPRISED that, with a total of 6,449 missions under his cummerbund, Matt managed to get a bit on the side of the Butlers Pizza box. It's a common error caused by high speed cornering, but I just didn't expect it - not at this level.
Who would have thought?
Everything else was spectacular. Look, with that kind of experience, you can only imagine. His intercom manner was good, his uniform was immaculate and the pizza was VERY nicely sliced. What's more, the pizza arrived faster than expected. It was impressive! But, in hindsight, maybe that was where we got it wrong? Maybe it came TOO fast? It's a bit of a catch-22, isn't it?
I remember going through the same conundrum during my days as a Butler. Whilst a swift delivery can secure a good tip, the state of the pizza upon arrival could be compromised. It's a double-edged sword, isn't it? A guy like Matt should know to lift the box on the one side DURING the drive to compensate for the G-forces experienced around corners - a concept first perfected by the elite Silwood-branch drivers of the late 90's who dubbed it "The negative-G lift method" ("NEGLIFT," for short).
Something to think about. Other than that, I really can't fault Matt. This kind of minor error certainly won't result in a rule change like last time.
Caprice's tradition of Monday mockery continues [permalink]
It has always amused me terribly. The Caprice Sunday night party concept that has been alive and well for years. God knows how it started, or how they do it - but it certainly isn't going anywhere.
I get various emails from various people - happy people, angry people, people who love people people. Then I also get the, "yo Seth, me and my crew are in Cape Town from Sunday to Tuesday and wanted to know if there was anywhere to go out on such crap nights?" people. Oh never fear, my friend, Caprice's tradition of laughing in the face of a Monday is showing no signs of slowing down. Players, locals, movie stars, students, models, the posh, the trash - they all come together in a melting pot of sheer defiance - laughing, drinking, dancing on the bar - no one seems to give a fuck. Monday? What Monday?
And it's all the more hectique on a Sunday before a Monday public holiday - as we saw a couple weeks ago on the 23rd of March.
As the UCT Ikeys Tigers take on Maties [permalink]
Three sleeps until Cape Town's finest, the UCT Ikeys Tigers, go head to head with Maties, in what is bound to be a dramatic FNB Varsity Cup final clash!
Our man on the ground, Steve Farrell reports:
Fuck I'm excited! Why you may ask? Because it's the FNB Varsity Cup Final on Monday! What's more, it's Ikeys v Maties. The spiciest derby in the country. It's going to be electric!
Thanks to Ikeys flyhalf Matthew Rosslee's heroics in the semifinal, John Dobson's giant killers will take on the might of Chean Roux's Maties.
Chean Roux? Does that name ring a bell? Of course it does - he played for the Stormers in the Robbie Fleck era. And ex-Springbok livewire Robbie Fleck (2oceansvibe's The Outside Centre) also happens to be the UCT backline coach. Fleck went to UCT. Roux went to Stellenbosch, How spicy is that! Ikeys v Maties, Fleckie v Roux. Stunning!
The game should be played at the famed 'Green Mile' by virtue of the Ikeys topping the log, but it was decided that the Danie Craven Stadium in Stellies will be more suited to a Final because it has better lighting and bigger stadium.
Not that it bothers UCT Head Coach, the adorable John Dobson.
"We are happy to play at Stellenbosch," said the coach.
"It's a great field for our rugby. Let Maties play as favourites in front of their home ground and deal with that pressure. We are excited wherever we play although it would have been nice to play in front of our amazing student support. But they must come out and have a fun evening in Stellenbosch. It's a great experience," added Dobbo.
Nice! Fighting talk from the coach, which shows JUST how confident the Tigers are.
I'm taking the afternoon off. There are no two ways about it. Maybe a luncheon at 'Terrace' to get the festivities under way.
There's no doubting that the UCT students will make their way to Stellies on Monday, making for a great spectacle at the Danie Craven Stadium.
The Ikeys Tigers being the surprise package of the tournament. They were ranked a lowly seventh going into the competition, but ended up topping the table.
Their backline has been quite sublime, with James 'Marty' Martin, Matthew Turner, 'Marvellous' Marvin Sampson, and that man Rosslee being the stand-outs.
Clearly the influence of The Outside Centre, Robbie Fleck is paying off. His care-free attitude to rugby and life in general has seen the young Ikeys backline flourish.
Fleckie has emphasised that this UCT team is not only winning on the field, but they have held their own off it too, clearly hinting that the Tigers are carrying their on-field form to other parts of the city, with Rosslee leading the charge on Monday.
The pack has been lead by the imposing figure of No.8 JJ Gagiano and the most versatile prop in the competition, Herbert 'Herbie' Mayosi. They will have their work cut out against the big Afrikaans boys from Stellenbosch. This classic clash kicks off at 6.45pm so be sure to get there early. Tickets are R20 for the main stand and R10 for the open stands.
This is bigger than any Super 14 derby this season, it's going to be massive. You'd be a fool to miss it.
- SF
It's too big to deal with!
The University of Cape Town's first XV are going head to head against Stellenbosch University in one of the biggest derby games in history.
This is Cape Town's rugby side. This is YOUR side, and they need YOUR support. If not only for the glory of raising the trophy, but then also the inevitable flurry of blow jobs that will ensue. These boys are heroes and should be treated as such.
Repeat phone-attack offender, Naomi Campbell, has pushed it pretty far this time. God, this chick doesn't do herself any favours. In today's story, she does the right thing when cops are called to calm one down - spit in their faces. Good one.
Naomi Campbell - terribly violent
That reminds me of my school days when I was once caught off the school grounds without an exeat (an "exeat" is a piece of paper signed by the house master, granting permission for you to be outside the school grounds). A more geekier prefect spotted me being cool in Cavendish Square shopping mall.
"Where is your exeat, Rotherham," he demanded.
"Hmm... let me see, " I mumbled, thoughtfully (I pretended to be feeling inside my pockets for the non-existent piece of paper).
"Oh! Here it is!," I said, staring down at my hand which I was holding next to my waist, pulling the finger up at him - trying to get him to look down at it.
He did.
"Hah! Nailed! You fucken idiot!" I shrieked, as I laughed my head off and continued my pursuit of the little angels cruising around the centre.
I really showed him.
I also got six of the best from Tank when I got back to the boarding house. I learnt my lesson - Naomi hasn't. Spitting in a cops face will NEVER help the situation. In fact, I'd say that it's pretty much FACT that things will get worse.
"The supermodel was hauled away "ranting and screaming" from her flight at Terminal Five after a row over a lost bag. Naomi first kicked off in BA's first class lounge after being told that one of her three bags had not made it onto the flight.
She began harassing airline staff who called cops as the flight was called and Naomi walked onto the plane. She was still yelling at boarding card staff as she took her seat.
Three officers from the MET's SO18 Aviation security branch then came onto the plane. They tried to calm the model down, but she is alleged to have reacted by spitting at an officer and then laying into him with her fists.
Frenzied Naomi was bought under control after a struggle and then physically hauled off the plane."
Dearie dearie me! What are we going to do with this chick?
It is interesting to note that Naomi clearly has far less media power than Max Mosley. Whilst Naomi's story is being shat all over Sky News, there is not a PEEP regarding the Max Mosley story, featuring him, five prostitutes and a Nazi sex theme.
Ja, I thought we were getting a little bit ahead of ourselves. It was never a good idea for Robert Mugabe's opposition to start claiming victory before official results of the Zimbabwe election came out. Are you fucking mad? That's like telling Hitler his poes stinks.
"Harare - Intruders ransacked offices of the main opposition party and police detained foreign journalists in an ominous sign that President Robert Mugabe might turn to intimidation and violence in trying to stave off an electoral threat to his 28-year rule.
The main opposition, MDC's leader, Morgan Tsvangirai tried on Thursday to reassure security chiefs who vowed a week ago not to serve anyone but Mugabe, according to a source close to the opposition leader. But an agreed meeting with seven generals was cancelled when the officers said that they had been ordered not to attend and that they would be under surveillance, the source said.
MDC secretary-general Tendai Biti said hotel rooms used as offices by the opposition at a Harare hotel were ransacked by intruders he believed were either police or agents of the feared Central Intelligence Organisation.
"Mugabe has started a crackdown," Biti told The Associated Press. "It is quite clear he has unleashed a war." "
This was never going to be easy.
Maybe Mugabe should have more music in his life. I reckon a bit of Lionel Richie should do the trick. Maybe Ballerina Girl will do it. Just to calm him down a bit. And a hug. A big hug. And maybe a warm bath. With some Badedas.
UNBELIEVABLE! It doesn't get much bigger than this! [permalink]
We had Ben Affleck lined up for today's show but, at the last minute, my people got in touch with me and said they had managed to secure none other than the TBG (Tall Blonde Guy) for today's show! I know - how mental is that?!
The TBG
Live on The 2oceansvibe Show - today!
For over three years the TBG has brought joy, peace, love, and his incredible aura to millions. What drives him? What makes him tick? What does his flesh feel like to the naked touch?
ALL WILL BE REVEALED IN TODAY'S UNPRECEDENTED SHOW AS WE
FIND OUT WHAT LIFE HAS BEEN LIKE FOR THE TBG FOR
THE PAST THREE YEARS AS A GLOCAL ICON AND
INTERNATIONAL SEX SYMBOL
For those of you who have been living inside the hollow of a tree in Greenland for the past three years, you better do a little reading before you tune in to today's LIVE-STREAMING online 2oceansvibe Radio Show at 15h30 (SA time)
For the rest of you, I can only imagine the shivers and shakes going through your body at this very moment! You must be BURSTING at the seams! So much to think about - so many questions to ask!
Let's get cracking!
Send questions for Seth and The TBG about ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING to editor@2oceansvibe.com. These will be dealt with during the LIVE show at 15h30, right here.
We will also be taking live SKYPE phone calls during the show. Feel free to drop us a line on our SKYPE callsign "the2oceansvibeshow."
And for those of you who missed some of our previous shows (including Nic Marais, Cokey Falkow, James Stewart, Mark Bayly, Richard Neville, Dave Moffatt (Dirty Skirts), G-Man and Nick Goldblatt!), don't forget that most of them can be downloaded from the 2oceansvibe Show Recordings page for you to listen to and touch yourself at your leisure.
Size 16 tuck box makes Miss England finals [permalink]
Oh God, here we go again! It's a "triumph" for fat girls everywhere! The Daily Mail reports on Chloe Marshall, the hungry 17-year-old who has defied her critics and made it into the finals of Miss England 2008. In the article, she claims that she she eats well, jogs and swims. That's nice. They didn't mention the fact that she is also a liar.
Ta-daa!
I said "here we go again" at the beginning of this article with reference to this recent moral high ground trend we find in televised competitions, where everyone gets behind the underdog to win - usually the most overweight person in the group. It's SO boring! When are they going to take it back to the old school, where the winner was the hottest little spunk who gave the judges the most head?
Like our local Idols competition that one year when the whole of South Africa decided to vote for that grape picker from Elgin. Or Ceres. Wherever - you know the one. Big girl. What's her name again? KAREN! That's it! Karen KORTJE! Whaaah - that was fucking SPECIAL! Chrrrist! It made everyone feel so good about themselves to vote for the chick with the best voice, even if she was a bit of a heifer. What happened after that? Two words - FUCK ALL! You'll be lucky if you find her alongside Anke at the bottom of the Waterfront escalators. She doesn't look like a pop star and she's never going to be a pop star.
And honestly, with regards to this Miss England shit, I really don't think it's a good idea. What about all the young impressionable girls out there? Now they're going to think that carbs are their friend! That can't be good?
We need order here - everyone seems to be running amok!
Rubbing down one of earth's greatest bums [permalink]
You've got to be gay to do this job. No straight man could do this without flipping out. There's only so much your wank bank can store before your head explodes.
As the world's headlines REFUSE to escape celebrity porn scandals [permalink]
It's actually getting ridiculous now. How can there possibly be ANOTHER porn/sex scandal? Now it's Marilyn Manson's ex, the new face/tits of Wonderbra, burlesque model and ex Jeremy Piven ("Ari Gold" from Entourage) stalkee, Dita von Teese!
And this time it's to do with an old lesbian porn tape she made. Tsk tsk..
Dita Von Teese
Real name "Heather Sweet"
Sweet
Marie Claire were all aflutter over this one, but the best thing about it is it's not even a secret! It's a proper lesbian porn video that she made years ago. It's even mentioned on IMDB! Watch this space - in ten years time there'll be a headline, "Novelist Jenna Jameson's porn past revealed!"
Come now!
I mean, how many porn/sex scandals can there be? Are normal headlines still allowed, or does it have to be pornographic and sensational for anyone to care? I'm telling you, this shit is going to have deep long term effects on us. You see, as soon as things hit the headlines, then we can talk about them openly. First we discuss the actual headline story, and then, once people are numb to that, the TOPIC becomes free game! Never before did people utter the word "whore" so casually in public, as they are now, following the Spitzer/Dupre whore (see?) scandal. Whore this! Whore that! It's out of control! And it's not long after that, that the actual ACT of hiring a hooker becomes socially acceptable.
"I saw your dad today!"
"Oh really! How was he?"
"We didn't really get a chance to chat. We use the same whore, and I was arriving as he was leaving"
"Oh that's a pity you didn't get to chat!"
"I know!Send him my best and tell him not to wear out Trixie so much next time!"
"Haha! I know, he's bad like that! But you can't blame him, she's a great whore! I'll let him know! Bye now."
"See ya!"
Seriously, that's how crazy it's getting. But you're probably not even reading this - you're just looking for a link to the video of Dita. That's not the point here, my love. Don't you get it? I'm worried about the decay of society as we know it. Aren't you? What are we going to do about it?
Whatever, click the "r" of "Editor" below to check out the video.
But please, be very careful - it's pretty full tilt and without a doubt NSFW.
It could very easily be true. But I think the announcement by the MDC that their leader, Morgan Tsvangirai, has won the 2008 Zimbabwe Presidential Elections is one thing, Robert Mugabe accepting it is another.
With Mugabe still in power, that's like me going to the PlayEuroMillions Lottery guys the day after the weekly draw and promising them that I was gong to choose the same winning numbers and asking them for the money.
SKY NEWS reports:
" Secretary-general of the Movement for Democratic Change Tendai Biti said Mr Tsvangirai had won 50.3% of the vote while President Mugabe had won 43.8%.
"That means he (Tsvangirai) is above the 50% threshold needed to avoid a run-off," Mr Biti said.
"Put simply, he has won this election... Morgan Richard Tsvangirai is the next president of the Republic of Zimbabwe." "
Sounding good for now..
I love the fact that no-one has a clue where Robert Mugabe is. He could be in the fucking Bahamas by now!
For those of you who dwell outside of Cape Town, you heard right - you missed out on an absolute PEARLER yesterday! For those of you live IN Cape Town but WEREN'T on the beach (weird), this is what we were dealing with on Clifton 2ndbeach.
GRIEF, the angels were in good nick!
Aah - take a load off..
Nothing wrong with that!
Here's another couple more pics to show you the kind of shit that was going down.
Kid from 3rd Rock From The Sun gets Claudia Schiffer half-naked [permalink]
Hmm, not sure if I approve of this. You might remember Joseph Gordon-Levitt, the little tyke from the TV show 3rd Rock From The Sun (the one with John Lithgow). Ja, so anyway, he managed to secure a fashion spread with my original supermodel, Claudia Schiffer. Now, whilst I have mentioned before that the the Schiffer magic has dwindled for me, following my learning that The Original Girlfriend was working in London as Claudia's assistant a couple years back (thus making her (Claudia) human, rather than just a supermodel), I am still somewhat irked by this recent development.
Particularly when our boy is holding her in the exact way I used to imagine myself handling her..
Jesus! How did they get Claudia to agree to that? Honestly, that's exactly how I used to pretend it happening in my mind.
"That's it, baby... nice and easy... no sudden movements!"
Aah, good times. On my own, at home. Just me and the cat, Homer. And my computer. And a Yorkshire Terrier.
A friend, when technology and Eskom get you down [permalink]
Now this is a very clever little tool. It's used to check if there is something wrong with a particular website, or if the problem is on your side. Pretty handy over here in SA where you don't know if the problem is with Eskom, the phone networks, Mavis, or the actual website in question.
So next time you're struggling to get into 2oceansvibe, go to this site and it will tell you if the particular website is down for everyone, or just you.
When you get to that page you simply type in the name of the website you wish to check. Here we ran a quick test for 2oceansvibe which will probably be the only one that you'll test, seeing as it's the only site that you visit on the "internet."
So we clicked "or just me?" (above) and this is what we got:
My God, Cape Town is experiencing what could only be described as a SCHTOINKER today! It's about 34 degrees and there is not a breath of wind - not a helluva lot of work is being done. Especially since yesterday was Monday and today is April Fool's day. That's all the excuse Capetonians need, to take it easy.
"Hey, bru, I was like worried I'd get like an April Fool's virus on my computer so I like didn't turn it on and just stayed at home smoking zok. You know, just in case, bru..."
Good one.
And not a bad idea either, as Eskom have, JUST THIS VERY MINUTE, turned off all the power. Nice one! The thing is, with Eskom, it's not an April Fool's joke. No no, this is just your basic fuck up...
Which brings us to Elisabetta Canalis, Italian model and actress, who shows us what she would be doing in weather like this...
I had heard this story a few times before but had forgotten it until it was retold a couple weeks back at Dave's wedding.
A couple years back, Dave was living with Sox (The Personal Jukebox) and they were both driving BMW's. It was the 1st of April and Dave had already gone to work (Caprice) by the time Sox woke up (call it 11am). Sox had a shower, washed his bum, got changed and started looking for his keys. He couldn't find them anywhere and assumed that Dave had maybe moved them or taken BOTH keys by mistake. So he gave Dave a call.
Dave: Urr hello?
Sox: Dave, have you got my keys?
Dave: No
Sox: Are you sure?
Dave: Ok, I hid them!
Sox: Why did you hide them?
Dave: APRIL FOOL'S!!!
Sox: What the fuck are you doing?
Dave: What do you mean? It's April the first!
Sox: But Dave, that's not really how it works.
Dave: Why not? How does it work?
Sox: April Fool's is traditionally where you tell someone a fib or a lie and you make them believe it. Then when you've sucked them in and they are believing the lie, that's when you tell them it's April Fool's! Like Punk'd on MTV.
Dave: Oh. Sorry.
Sox: No problem.
Dave: Ok, I'll see you later.
Sox: Cool. Can you just tell me where the keys are.
Dave: Oh. Ja. They're in the microwave.
Sox: Thanks.
(Sox opens the microwave as he is about to hang up and notices the keys are NOT in the microwave.)
Sox: I've just opened the fucking microwave and the keys aren't here.
Dave: I know! APRIL FOOL'S!!!! (As he puts the phone down!)
I'm writing this on March 31, but decided to schedule the article for 1 April. My reason is threefold. Firstly, it allows me some time in the morning to take my supermodel slaves for a walk. Secondly, it comes across as an April Fool's joke, so I won't have to worry about coming up with something clever on the actual day. And "C," everyone will get confused and talk about whether or not it was an April Fool's joke and they will refer back to 2oceansvibe and remain at 2oceansvibe - where they know they'll be safe. Safe and warm. Where they know Seth will protect them. With silk. Everything will be made of silk. The linen, the pajamas. You fucking name it. Everything. Pure fucking silk. Everywhere. A complete. silk. muffshow.
Max Mosely - naughty
Back to the FIA President and Formula 1 Boss, Max Mosely - he WISHES this was an April Fool's joke. Please enjoy this from Newsoftheworld:
"FORMULA One motor racing chief Max Mosley is today exposed as a secret sado-masochist sex pervert.
The son of infamous British wartime fascist leader Oswald Mosley is filmed romping with five hookers at a depraved NAZI-STYLE orgy in a torture dungeon. Mosley— a friend to F1 big names like Bernie Ecclestone and Lewis Hamilton— barks ORDERS in GERMAN as he lashes girls wearing mock DEATH CAMP uniforms and enjoys being whipped until he BLEEDS."
"Mock DEATH CAMPS" (holds fist to mouth, face red, cheeks bursting - keeping in the inevitable explosion of laughter).
YU! (eyes wide open)
I mean, what do you do?! You've been bust acting out a sex role playing game with five (FIVE?!JESUS!) hookers. And, not only that, you've gone for a fucking HITLER THEME! Oh my God, you are FUCKED!
I also enjoyed this extra bit that the News of the World put so eloquently:
"His Jew-hating father—who had Hitler as guest of honour at his marriage—would have been proud of his warped son's command of German as he struts around looking for bottoms to whack."
You simply must check out a snippet of the video here. Apparently the full video has Max BEATING the hookers with a leather strap and COUNTING IN GERMAN as he beats them!
I don't know, hey? This would be a tricky one to get out of. If he was an actor, he could say he was researching a role. Or, if he was Eliot Spitzer, he could just tell the truth. But he can't do either, because he is Max Mosley. The same Max Mosely who, just a month ago, ordered a crackdown on racism in the sport.
Not ideal.
thanks simon
Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com [permalink]
I'm FINE with these shots of the chick that stops George Clooney from crying himself to sleep at night - Sarah Larson. They feature the all important "Dimples of Venus."
But these pics aren't of her in the bedroom... so I think it would be rude to end the story there without commenting on the fact that she is also a FUCKING LUNATIC!
VERY NICE, George! You've got a real wildcat on your hands! But I'm not sure if you should settle down with this one. I don't know. I just don't know if that's what you're looking for.
You could train her, I suppose. I'd recommend the "handbag trick."
You know the one - you buy her a Louis Vuitton bag, but you cut it in half and give her the one half. Then you tell her that you'll see if her adult dinner-table conversation improves and maybe, just MAYBE, you'll give her the other half at the end of the year.
As long as the C and K words keep coming out of your mouth, you're gonna have to make do with hiding the open side of that half-a-bag with that half-a-pashmina I gave you, my baby..
Today went pretty much nowhere. I went for a meeting in Constantia and never came back until now, 14h47. Not a bad Monday. I popped into Forries to feel the vibe before the UCT vs Pukke clash which should have started by now (although only televised at 16h45 today on SS1) and it looked like things were heading towards what could be deemed "festive." I cruised back to Bantry Bay after three weeks in the wilderness during my Keeping it Real Tour which found me mingling with the Noordhoek and Kommetjie lot. You know, feeling the vibe and all that. Getting "down" with it and living a life of pureness and contentment unfounded in Bantry Bay and Camps Bay. Not that we're not CONTENT on this side....
I was pretty "content" for a moment on my way home as I caught sight of the elusive angel through my car window outside Vida e on Kloof Street.
Hi.
Hi.
How you?
Fine. You?
Fine.
Bye.
Bye.
Awesome! Any rumours that I have my way with women are completely and utterly fucking false. Believe me! Organising a dinner or drink with this angel is like drawing blood from a stone.
Jesus.
Anyway, it's obviously the Zimbabwe elections at the moment and God only knows how that will turn out. I'd hazard a guess that the current results showing a Mugabe defeat mean sweet fuckall. I'd, naturally, be very excited and, at the same time, fucking blown away if that result stays true for the final, official result...
Does this fellow look worried to you?
Bob Mugabe - Good times!
I found this hilarious little radio snippet of a phonecall to the Zimbabwean Embassy and thought you would enjoy it.
I'm FINE with this vibe! Taken this week at the 2008 My Cokefest, in Cape Town - this vid (taken by The Surfer) shows a particularly, umm, how do you say, ENHANCED Jared Leto from the band 30 seconds to Mars instructing his fans in the crowd to form a mosh pit. I love it. He's is basically inciting pure complete and utter fucking havoc. But the most beautiful part of it all is how he addresses them as "mother fuckers." It's FUCKING funny! Hectique, but funny nonetheless.
I encourage this kind of behaviour.
"...open up a f*cking circle RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW, open that mutherf*cker up, open it up mutherf*ckers, 20 feet f*cking wide, a big f*cking circle, a big circle f*ck, a f*ucking circle mutherf*fucker, push those mutherf*ckers back....this is how we dahnce."
Hahahaha! He would have gone on to bang about five of the hottest little 16 year-olds in the audience. (Our foreign readers, particularly in the States, will be interested to learn that over here, in South Africa, that shit is legal. Not that we condone it. No. Not at all.)
Top form, Leto.
Good Charlotte also played at the festival. Band member Benji Madden's current lay, Paris Hilton was there as well.
As UCT prepare for Monday's killer FNB Varsity Cup Semi-final [permalink]
That's what he would have been if Herschelle Gibbs had chosen rugby as his career. But instead our boy went for the ball and bat. Or, in this case, a ball and chain - in Sea Point's prison cells to be precise. Not the best way to wake up on a Friday!
Ja, so Gibbs did NOT choose rugby and is therefore NOT playing for UCT in Monday'sFNB Varsity Cup semi final against Pukke. There will be another fly-half playing, and another very gifted 14 men around him, as UCT continue their charge towards winning this, the inaugural FNB Varsity Cup. (I trust they've put a handsome budget towards the creation of said cup).
Funnily enough, we actually ran into previous UCT and Springbok player, Robbie Fleck, on Sandy Bay beach the other day (don't ask).
Robbie Fleck gives the "thumbs up"
We asked him his thoughts on this upcoming clash.
Goose-bumbs:
"This is probably UCT's biggest game since we won the Grand Challenge in 19-voetsak... This is an incredibly talented team that has faced all kinds of adversity since the tournament's inception and have come out on top - both on the field.. and off. Monday's game is not just about UCT, it is about a unique brand of rugby that has captivated the public and has hopefully shown that free flowing, free spirited, intelligent running rugby is better off than backward prehistoric type which is prevalent today. This possibility of a UCT victory against Maties in the final is too much to handle and brings back the memories of yesteryear.. Classic clashes between the legendary rugby institutions and a shit load of fun being had in the stands and the pubs - mouth watering stuff"
Beautiful stuff, Rob! That's what I'm talking about! I must say I'm pretty fucking excited for Monday's game.
For those of you who aren't able to watch it live at UCT, the game is being televised and you can catch it at 14h30 on Supersport!
See you there!
a U
a U
a U C T!
UPDATE: UCT won in the final seconds of the game (Matt Rosslee, the UCT fly-half who kicked over the final points must have been in blow-job city that evening) and will be playing Maties (Stellenbosch) in the final on Monday 7 April. We will give you a match preview before the end of this week!l
Today, live on the 2oceansvibe online Radio Show - RIGHT HERE! [permalink]
OH
MY
GOD!!
It's an alignment of the stars like never before! Seth's birthday is falling on a THURSDAY - which HAPPENS to be 2oceansvibe's live radio show day! And that's TODAY! I know! It's mental! You can probably feel the sexual energy from where you're sitting right now. Feel your mouse. Has it got goose bumps? If so, then your mouse is fitted with a sexual microchip that allows it to feel vibes like we're throwing today. Lucky you. Enjoy it. Go on. Touch your mouse a little bit more. Then, just before the goose bumps feel like they're about to explode, give him a little double-click. AAAH YEAH!! You fucken like that?! Close the door, babe...
In today's show we are SPOILING you with two hours of nothing but pure random excitement and hysteria. Because, not only is it Seth's birthday, but we also have on the show one of the very few people that know the private Seth Rotherham. Who IS Seth Rotherham? We know he was raised as an only child amongst 1,000 antique porcelain dolls and a squadron of Yorkshire Terriers, but very few come close enough to know enough. To feel enough. To TOUCH enough.
Some just cancel..
Our guest today is a rare treat. One of 2oceansvibe's most esteemed characters, a previous Mr. 2oceansvibe winner, former UCT First XV rugby captain, eligible bachelor and home-owner.... ladies and gentlemen, I give you The People's Insurance Broker - RICHARD NEVILLE!
RICHARD NEVILLE
"The Insurance Broker"
(Get a load of this guy)
I know what you're thinking - "I've seen that clown before." Indeed you have. And what a show to have him on! With the FNB Varsity Rugby Cup semi-final clash between UCT and Pukke, just four days away (Monday 14h30 at UCT), there will be PLENCH to talk about. We will ALSO be answering your questions about the semi-final during the show.
Not that the show will be JUST about rugby. Heavens no! Our boy comes with a whole fucking bag of tricks! This is HONESTLY one of the spiciest characters I have ever come across and one of the few people that have the ability to make me laugh out loud. This is a show NOT to be missed! See you RIGHT HERE at 15h30 today - 27 March, 2008.
So there you have it.
Seth's Sexy Spicy Rugby Birthday Show!
Coming to/on you LIVE at 15h30 TODAY!
URGENTLY send questions about ANYTHING for Seth and Richard to cover in the show (chicks, rugby, guys, music, weather, astronomy, hygiene, dating, Cambodian slave children, wolverines, joysticks, anything..) to editor@2oceansvibe.com
As usual we will be taking live SKYPE phonecalls during the show - so get in touch during the show on our Skype callsign "the2oceansvibeshow."
Those of you who watch The Hills on television will be aware of a chick by the name of Audrina Patridge. Not? Me neither - I've never watched it, nor have I heard of her. But what I CAN tell you is that God took off a whole afternoon to design her tabs. For a guy that takes about a millisecond to create an entire human being, you can IMAGINE the kind of minute detail he went into.
I like it when he decides to give us a little treat every now and then. He's very naughty like that!
I think we're in for quite a roller coaster ride with these current Bulgarian Idols clips. Click here if you missed the one last week of the guy doing Michael Jackson - what a blessing he was.
But this week we have something quite stunning for you. In this clip, which includes subtitles, the contestant begins by confirming that she will be singing Mariah Carey's Ken Lee song. Now, fans (and even non-fans) out there will know that Mariah didn't make a song called Ken Lee.
That is why you need to watch this:
Stop it
Un be lievable!
It's like that story you MUST know about the guy in Stellenbosch who went up to the DJ and asked him to play Haasie. (Afrikaans for "a small rabbit). When the DJ told him that he didn't know what the fuck he was talking about, the guy told him he MUST know it because he plays it every Friday night. The DJ asked him to sing it for him. That's when he hit him with, "Haasie, a bad moon arising."
This last week has given us an unprecedented level of smut and flesh. So before any new 2oceansvibe readers out there get the wrong idea, I simply must make mention that this current state of affairs is PURELY to do with the coincidental timing of various sex type stories; including Spitzer's whore, Macca's whore and the Kristin Davis sex tape. That's a lot of flesh in one week - something that would traditionally appeal to the guys out there. And that is why we have decided to create this "Aaah!" moment for the girls out there!
I can't for the life of me work out why someone would consciously punish themselves to this extent. One of South Africa's top nobodies, Khanyisile Mbau (who has in the past described herself as "South Africa's Paris Hilton") sat "alone with her millionaire husband Mandla Mthembu on Friday night at Fashion TV Cafe, waiting in vain to meet Paris Hilton". When asked how she felt about the non-intro, she said, "I thought it would be nice to have pictures taken of the black and the white socialite together."
Hilton with a useful orphan
Why would it be "nice," Khanyi? What is so "nice" about a picture with you? Why would anyone, let alone Paris Hilton care? She has no use for you. And what does the black and white have to do with it? You are of no significance whatsoever. Whilst you pretend to yourself that you are a part of high society, I sincerely hope this little event clearly illustrates to you that you have NO idea what you are doing and NO money in the world will be able to buy you the social (under)standing you so VERY clearly desire and lack.
Jesus, have some pride, woman.... (mouth agape).
Apparently Mbau was told to try again in June when Hilton is said to be returning to South Africa.
In other news, The Sun reports that, when asked what she thought of South Africa, Hilts responded with "I love Africa in general - South Africa and West Africa, they are both great countries."
One could say there has been a trend of sorts for our girl, Ashley Alexandra Dupre - the hooker that brought down the governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer. And no-one is happier than Joseph Francis - founder of the highly acclaimed Girls Gone Wild series, which depicts female teenagers exposing themselves on camera in public. What a brilliant concept! Jo recently had a look through his archives and found video footage of Ash when she was 17 years old! Stunning!
Go ASH! Go ASH! Go ASH!
Who would have thought that the well-bred girl in the above pic would go on to become a high class whore in New York? And not just any high class whore - according to Ash's former pimp, Jason Itzler (self proclaimed "King of All Pimps"), she had what was described as "the most beautiful vagina in New York ." New York Magazine reports that she was marketed to punters as "the girl with the magic pussy." (Seriously, I can't make this shit up).
Awesome! Let's keep that fresh in our minds as we cut to an excerpt from that Girls Gone Wild video we were chatting about.
God it's amazing how fast they grow up - to think that was just five years ago! And now....now...she's a young lady! She's grown into her head which was too big for her body at the time, and her tabs are now also in another league.
ps. It's interesting to note that the pimp mentioned earlier in this story has started a new company called DNA Diamonds which provides a matchmaking service for wealthy men and smoking hot chicks. He's quite a character - enjoy this from his website:
The owner of DNA Diamonds is also a man, and he too has overly particular tastes just like you do. You cannot hire a woman to do a man's work! Women do not rate women the same way that a man would rate a woman physically. Our agency was built by a man for extremely particular men who are seeking 8's, 9's, and 10's. At DNA Diamonds, we start with the outside and then look at the beauty that lies within.
God, we really are very spoilt! It's the Capetonians' mantra. A two-fold statement, it shows we don't take this place for granted, whilst also boasting how awesome our lives are. Very sneaky. This week was particularly ridiculous with about three days of complete glass ocean with God's tanning machine sitting in the late twenty degrees. Christ, don't you hate it when the news readers on the radio and TV refer to the "mercury" when giving the daily temperatures? Yes, twat, we're very impressed that you are aware that thermometers used to have mercury in them, but MUST you say it EVERY time? Clap clap, tool.
It reminds me of those people who CONSTANTLY refer to Australia as "down under" - Aaaargh!! God, yes, ok, good one... Every now and then is fine - but, again, MUST YOU SAY IT EVERY TIME?
Morons.
Jeez (pointing), what's that over there?!?!
(Moron turns to look).
Gun to the head - BOOM!
(Moron falls to the floor).
Hah, I think I know a little boy heading "down under" HIMSHELF!!
So anyway (Angry Seth has gone now and Sexual Seth is back), enjoy this video taken this week whilst cruising the Camps Bay Strip in Cape Town, passed the likes of Caprice and Vida e. The soundtrack features a song I gave toPrince many years ago called "Raspberry Beret" which was about this chick I saved from Russia's Red Army (hence the reference to the red beret). Being lower class, she would submit to me and I was able to train her to do things like bow when I walked into a room. Being Russian, she was pretty fucking hot. I was pleased. In return, she was able to enjoy the deeper, more private Seth; as well as chilled afternoons in The Safe House reading magazines naked on the sofa. It was win/win for both of us.
She was cool. Come to think of it, I can't for the life of me remember where I dumped her body. Whoops. Bad Seth!
Check the video - it's tit!
Apologies for the higher than usual levels of blasphamy in this article. But, you know, it's Easter weekend. Isn't that what it's all about?
Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com [permalink]
