Probably not
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It was nice of Mavis to tear herself away from the sofa and TV today, to be on hand for my move back to the Safe House (following The Interior Decorator's successful transformation of my haven of peace and tranquility).
The new bath - stunning.
Just stunning!
During this time of transformation, The Interior Decorator briefly went abroad on holiday with her love interest, The Bond Guy. Upon their return she noted that her Domestic Executive (D.E.), Portia (like the car, but spelt different), had prepared a welcome home "honeymoon suite" type arrangement in the master bedroom. Portia's motivation for this act is not the point here, and we certainly don't need to discuss what possible outlandish presumptions on her part may have led to this presentation, following their romantic getaway. That is not what this article about. No, no - this article is for Mavis, and Mavis only.
There were also white slippers, placed on small towels
(with petals on them)
next to each side of the bed
Whilst Her Royal Highness feels that colour-coding the golf shirts and arranging the Vanity Fairs in chronological order (shame), should suffice for a day's work and allow for some all-important WWE Smackdown wrestling on e-TV; perhaps NOW she will get a grasp of what's actually going on out there - in the REAL world.
Look what Portia did, Mavis! Does that compare to my car being washed? No! Does it compare to you remembering to fan out the Hello! magazines with a one inch space between each one? No, Mavis, it doesn't! Why don't I get Honeymoon suite treatment? Just because I don't have a bird, doesn't mean I can't be pampered. Have you ever even thought to run a bath for me before my return after a long day feeding orphans? Two words - NE VER.
It's BASIC STUFF, Mavis! Christ!
Bloody good work though, Portia, you are a shining beacon to D.E.'s everywhere! Granted, it did help that the carpet was ALREADY pink, but the rose petals, nighting gowns (I've always said "nighting" instead of "night" - don't ask me why), latest Vanity Fair mag and champiz in the cooler (oh so 2oceansvibe!) shows some very clear and present out-the-box thinking. Very impressive! I'd say you must be coming dangerously close to handling incoming phone calls. If that's not upliftment, I don't know what is! My fingers are crossed.
Hold on to her, guys.
Mavis, I'll get Portia's email and you guys can have a little CHAT...
I'm going to have to end this article now, it seems I have to go and run a bath because someone else had to go home because they "have a family to feed".
Ja, ja.....
Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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