As Seth receives another bizarre note
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People often come up to me and (besides trying to dry-hump me against the wall) ask me if the notes I receive from my domestic executive, Mavis, are real. The most recent mention I made of Mavis was this one where it was evident that she thought we had become buddies and thus ended her note off with the word 'cheers'. There seems to be some confusion, and this was further augmented with a new note that was stuffed in the door handle of my car when I got back from overseas last week. I noticed that Mavis had cleaned my car whilst I was away (bizarre) and she had left this note to let me know.

I thought I would show you the actual note as you probably wouldn't believe me.

The latest installment from Mavis

For those of you who, for some strange act of God, cannot see the picture of the note, it reads:

WELCOME!

I AM BODY-PAMPERED

&

BODY-LICIOUS

She looked after me

GOOD RIDDANCE

Now there are a number of things that bother me about this note. She seems to have written it as though it was written by the car. She is taking on other personalities. I don't think that is viable. The note starts with the word 'Welcome' which should have obviously included the word 'home' or 'back'. Moving on, I am TOTALLY and UTTERLY confused at her utterance of the words 'BODY-LICIOUS' (let alone the words 'body-pampered'). What in God's name is going on? I have never in my life heard of, nor ever expected my domestic executive to use 'licious' after any word other than 'de'.

The end of the note was the straw that broke my brain's back. The second last part is obviously part of the personality she has now given the car. "She looked after me" it reads. So SHE is saying that the CAR is saying that SHE (Mavis) looked after her (the car). Ok, good one, Mavis. I like this game.

AND THEN.......... as if things couldn't get more absurd, she throws in the words 'GOOD RIDDANCE' at the end!!!!!!

What the FUCK are you talking about, Mavis? What do you mean? Good riddance to the dirt, perhaps? Or good riddance to me? Must I just fuck off now?

Is it drugs? 'Cos we can fix it if it is. Just tell me.

What is going on?

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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