Please come pick it up in front of the lighthouse
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It sits directly in front of the 2oceansvibe HQ and, quite frankly, gets in the way. When I conceptualise and do my various brain exercises which produces fine bits of drivel, I need complete clarity which can only be achieved with unobstructed views over the mighty Atlantic Ocean. This boat, "TSAVLIRIS" is exactly the opposite of what I need. It is exactly the opposite of what you need, as its presence effects my writing.

Very annoying

Tsavliris - Russian for "annoying"

The boat sat in the exact same spot for the whole of last week. By the Thursday I had one of the angels call the Cape Town Port Master to ask if someone had, perhaps, lost their boat. If it wasn't lost then I wanted to know what the fuck it was doing here and how long it would be here for.

The angel reported back that it was, in fact, a Russian tug boat. Oh! Russian you say!? And there I was thinking that "Tsavliris" was an Afrikaans word that Meneer forgot to teach us at school.

So it's a Russian tugboat (enjoy this), waiting for work. That's it! It's just fucking anchored in front of 2oceansvibe HQ, waiting for stuff to do. But it doesn't get much work so it just fucking sits. Are there people on board? Who knows! How long will they be there for? Who knows! The Port Master sure as hell didn't know.

But then, on Saturday, it was gone. I was over the bloody moon. I was also upset, because I wanted to write this article. But, nevertheless, the blip on my horizon was gone.

But Seth was WRONG! The mother fucker is BACK, and he's BAD. He has been here since Tuesday and doesn't look like he is leaving.

Can you guys not go and park somewhere else? Why did you come back to the exact same spot? Are you looking at me? Is that why you're here? Piss off, man! Don't you want to check out a bit of Sea Point? Or the Waterfront? Or Scarborough? Or, better yet, Take a cruise around the corner to Kommetjie and check out what's going on at Fleck's house. Get the binocs out - you'll be in awe.

But seriously, you can't just sit there waiting for work. It's very annoying. Go away. Please.

[In other news, please enjoy the constant "God, can you believe it's December already! God, how time flies" chit-chat that we have to endure now that we have entered December. "I KNOW!!! Can you BELIEVE IT!!!!". Ahh fuck off, man!]

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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