Bridget Jones muffs her first marriage
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As the worldwide divorce trend continues, we see that Renee (put a dash above the FIRST 'e' in her name - God knows how to do it manually) Zellweger and Kenny Chesney (amazing) have joined the club. After four months. The first marriage for both of them. Nice one guys!

Awesome necklace, Kenny

Am I the only one around here who is learning from everyone else's mistakes? Did Renee and Kenny not see examples of failed marriages before they got hitched? To realise after four months that you're not made for each other must SURELY mean that you never did your homework? I mean, did you guys live together for a bit? It has been suggested that living together for, say, a year, is a good way to work out what living together for all eternity will be like. It's just a tip that they give to crazy lunatic 'love'-struck children.

Jerk-boy and South African women fan, Craig David, said in a magazine interview recently that he could meet a woman in the morning and marry her by lunch time. Jeepers Hudders! That's fairly amazing, Craigie. In your one song you claimed that you met a girl on Monday and you were banging her on Wednesday. So you're saying now that it takes you even quicker to get married?

I met a girl on Monday (got married that arvi)
Took her for a drink on Tuesday (well that's bloody decent of you, Craig)
We were making love by Wednesday (consummating after two days)
And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday
We chilled on Sunday (ja, well, look - it's been a rollercoaster ride)

And COMPLETELY seamlessly I flow into a brief discussion about holding sex before marraige. I am passionate about this topic and deeply saddened by (generally) women who decide "no rock, no cock".

Personally, I believe that sex makes up 20%-30% (conservatively) of the total compatibility of two people. Particularly in the fragile early building block years. Jesus, imagine falling in love with someone and only after you marry them you find out that the sex is revolting? Give me a break. I reckon some girls KNOW they are shit in bed and hold their vagina ransom until they have that ring on their finger. Like those expensive-to-run women who hold back sex and, whilst in the spoon position (the boy grinding desperately from behind (too graphic?)), quietly whisper the two magic words to their suitor:

"Louis Vuitton"

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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