We continue our Cape Town education
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I've had a good run lately with movies and, because I love you so much, I want to tell you about them. After all, if you can't trust Seth Rotherham's views on things, who can you trust? Exactly! Whilst your friends are turning on you like Alsatians, 2oceansvibe still remains a symbol of everything that is true and pure.

Before I do that I must tell you what has just started playing on the Bose iPod speaker. It's 'Wicked Game', by Chris Isaak (give me a break, the iPod is on 'shuffle'). This reminds me of when I used to spend a lot of time as a child at Roger Moore's house (my mother and Roger grew up together and remain friends) - he used to play Chris Isaak all the time. A lot of people don't quite know what to think of Chris Isaak. His music throws out all sorts of stigmas about the person that is playing it. I have just made a mental note to use it in my car. When I say 'use' it, I mean to 'experiment' with it. Experimenting with creating stigmas.

When in full prick mode, I play a chosen song at a particular level so that people outside the car can JUST hear the music. I like to watch the response. It is important to make it seem like you were unaware that other people can hear it. It needs to be at a volume level that is not too loud for inside the car, and not too loud from outside. And then, out of the corner of your eye, you should take note of the response. Make them look at the prick.

"Christ, look at that prick playing Chris Isaak", they think to themselves.

But then they think further and realise that the music was too soft for you to be doing it on purpose. I mean, you clearly weren't TRYING to make people hear. Because if you were, you would be playing it louder than that. And anyway, who wants everyone to know that they're playing Chris Isaak? It is at this point that they forgive you and start thinking that you are very relaxed with who you are and that you are, in fact, totally oblivious to everyone else. They search in their little heads for the word they're looking for to describe you. And then they realise, you're "cool". They are now at the stage where they think more about the actual song that you were playing and use it to try and figure out more about you. That's right, Chris Isaak. This guy is deep. He's a thinker. That is what they're thinking about you. They also realise that they just LOVE the sunglasses you were wearing. Meantime, you're actually a prick.

Basically, you've killed it.

So not only are you fucking cool, but you're also a deep thinking type. Then, when you meet them (as you invariably do in this town), you are awesome! Be excited to meet them. Be interested. Smile. Agree with them. Remember their name and say goodbye when you leave. This kind nature, combined with the vision of you in your car, can tend to be overwhelming for some of them. Don't let them know that you are aware of how excited they are to be talking to you. Some of them might wet themselves. Pretend not to notice. Introduce them to other people as your "very good friend".

You have just created a "Defender of the Faith". The Defenders of the Faith are like a roving PR team.

Then, the next time they're in the company of someone who is carrying on about what a prick you are (as you invariably do in this town), they will mention the fact that they had met you recently and "thoroughly" enjoyed chatting to you. This silences the other person (the Detractor of the Faith) and they will not speak ill of you again. So you've gained a Defender and you've silenced a Detractor. That's two points. The spin off's of having the new Defender, as well as a silenced Detractor is exponential. You now have another Defender on the streets, preaching the good word, and you also have one less person speaking ill of you. Over a one year period, you're looking at CONSERVATIVELY 50 less people viewing you in a bad light or being exposed to anti-you propaganda.

Rinse and repeat until everyone loves you

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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