cnr. Crosby and Lafayette, Soho, New York City
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Hello my little lambs! Did we miss Seth? I think we did! I think I know some little boys and girls that missed Seth very much. Well don't fret, Seth is here now. Here to keep you warm. It's 30 degrees outside and I am stationed in a Starbucks. Here's a little pic for you to get a whiff.

Yes, Seth uses that new tiny Sony Vaio that you've always wanted

The iPod is on random and has just started playing 'Beautiful Girl' by INXS, which I'm fine with. It's a radical change from the previous song which was 'Falling into you' by Celine Dion. I don't mind playing songs like that - I find it particular amusing that I am listening to Celine Dion without anyone knowing.

Touched down at JFK on Friday morning after a one-night-only appearance in London with The Centre at a new club called 'Chateau 6'. Check it out - quite enjoyable. London will return to Seth's life on Thursday, but for now it's 30 degrees in Manhattan and air con is a good friend of mine. I must just mention that I think it's slightly hilarious that one of the top clubs in New York is called Bungalow 8 and now someone has opened a club in London called Chateau 6. We should open one is Cape Town and call it 'Ikhaya 7'.

Been spending some time with The Stockbroker who welcomed me to the deck above his apartment yesterday (Lafayette and Spring) for a tanning session. I wasn't sure if I was on a movie set (as one often does in NY) as I stepped onto the rooftop. I was presented with fake lawn, a hammock, a kid's blow-up pool, pot plant trees all round, deck chairs, The Doors playing through the iPod speaker system and........



.....wait for it......



.....a midget.



Yes, that is correct. A MIDGET. The Stockbroker said the midget was included in the rent ( the midget is the brother of a neighbour) and comes and goes at random times. Random surprises. The whole time. We agreed that he (The Stockbroker) was very lucky and shouldn't take the midget for granted. He says he doesn't and admits that he makes the most of it when the midget is around - clearly aware of the impact it has on new guests. Further background produces astonishing results. Apparently he (the midget) is trying to make his name as a DJ - currently spinning on a raised platform in a strip joint downtown. He has been known to bring back hookers three-at-a-time to the apartment next door when his sister is out of town.

Are you getting this shit?

'Pancho the Bull' - a famous wrestling midget
Not too dissimilar to The Stockbroker's midget.

Moving on, British Airways lost my bag which was only returned two days later. It wasn't the end of the world as it just meant that when I landed, and the two days after that, I would have to buy new clothes to wear. Banana Republic and French Connection catered for my underwear needs and the rest was split between a range of what-a-prick designer labels. Naturally a fuss will be made and British Airways will be compensating for the clothes. Not the worst situation.

Shopping and drinking and eating with The Ad Guy and The Italian has been sprinkled with laughs, hangovers and general hysteria. Highlights include seeing a man fall off his bicycle. That wasn't the highlight though. The highlight was the (no spice) 2 fire engines, 3 ambulances, 3 cop cars and 5 cops dealing with the situation.

"STEP BACK FOLKS" is what the cop shouted at us as we walked past. He stuck out a straight arm to hold us back - similar to that of a rugby clothes line tackle. The vibe given out by fire guys and cops in this city is something to behold. Their post-9/11 attitude is a combination of an obvious want to be spotted for a movie and a thirst for drama. I'm not in movies, I can't help you with your acting aspirations. Relax, be yourself.

I am very happy with the New York girls on this trip and am weighing them up against the English roses that I was reminded of during my brief stay in London on the way here. I think I could handle an American. But for now the English Roses are taking top spot.

I think it's time for lunch at Balthazar now. I'll get back to you later. I'm taking the train to Washington tomorrow to be shown around and impressed by The PR Guy. Back in London on Thursday for a particularly exhausting weekend with the Rugby Coach, The Insurance Broker, The Hooker, The Interiors Guy and much more.

Be good.

"HEY, TAKE IT EASY!!!!! I'M WALKING HEEEEEERE !!!!!!"

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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