Which turned into an article about cyclists
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I'm sorry team. That's all I can say. I am speechless. Where do I start. I want to write about so much, but can't get started. Do you want me to tell you about how I knelt down next to my bed on Monday morning and thanked God that the Argus cycle tour was over? Is that what you want? Why are there still bikes on the road? Fuck off now, guys. Pack that little carbon fibre mother fucker away until next year. Either that or you should be in the Alps practicing for the next Tour de France. What did you say? Really! Does your bike really weigh 5 kilograms? That's fucking astounding! And tell me about those AWESOME clogs you wear on your bike. The ones that you wear when you awkwardly walk into Caprice all G'eed up from your ride, whilst you order muesli and pat yourself on the back. You look fucking hysterical. Never mind the helmets, those caps you wear are something quite amusing. I've seen guys wear those in poker games. Weird guys. With 2 gigs of child porn at home. You just can't beat 50 year old men with paid-for Fedex emblazoned cycling outfits. You guys rock my World. But listen up......

YOU'RE IN THE FUCKING WAY

FUCK OFF

Aaaah!! Oh my God !! Don't scroll the page down!
Aaaah. I'm nearly there... wait...ahhh
God it's good! I MUST get R700 together to get one of those puppies.
Ahh, I want that TV channel inside me!

I hope they pass the law that allows motorists to gently nudge cyclists on the road. Not with their car, that would be very dangerous! Out the window, with your hand - just a gentle nudge. If you want to abuse the road like you do I think it should be fair to do that.

It's a pity how the majority of you ruin it for the considerate cyclists out there.

I've joined a new culture taking form on the Atlantic Seaboard and I urge everyone to follow. When our confident cycling friends cycle through the red traffic lights in their little peloton's - which they INSIST on doing without fail, all drivers stopped at the lights should hold their hands firmly on the car hooter. It's not a normal hoot. This one is saying, "FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"! Who do you clowns think you are anyway? Since when did cyclists not have to stop at traffic lights? Who the FUCK do you think you are? That is absolutely ridiculous. Would you like your revolting children to cycle through all red lights on their way to school? I would give it a guess that if we, as car drivers, had to come through the green on the other side and aim for you and kill you, we would not be prosecuted. Are you starting to see the point, my little shimano's? These are the rules of the road. It's like me telling a cop that there was no-one around so I can't see why I can't attack de Waal drive at 140km/h. There are many lawless societies, some with tarred roads, who would be more than happy for you to drive through whatever intersection you wanted. It just doesn't happen to be here. Smoking weed is illegal but I have a beautifully rolled joint of Swaziland's finest in my left hand right this very second. But I am FULLY aware that it is illegal. But I quietly have it in my own home where it doesn't effect anyone. For you to do what you're doing in front of everyone is nothing short of a giant 'UP YOURS' to everyone around you.

Who do you think you are?

As I said earlier, its a pity that the majority ruin it for the other cyclists.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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