Quota system turned on its head. Now EVERYONE can play!
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I've been trying to ignore mentions of Luke Watson LONG before the latest vomit of press surrounding his selection in the Springbok training camp. His inclusion in the 45/46-man training squad was more of a headache knowing what press was to follow, than it was HAVING him and his peculiar walk there in the first place.

It's common knowledge that Jake White can't stand Luke "I pay, I order" Watson*, nor his father, Cheeky Watson. The reason/s (without going into graphic detail for now) being largely to do with the underlying trend that Cheeky is a pain in the arse. The nauseating pain of which has recently been felt by the South African Rugby Union. Who do you think was nagging and threatening them and other influencing bodies LONG before the list was called out?

New quota player - Lukho Watshembi
"Ngubane igama lakho?"
"Ngu Lukho igama lam"

And now that his name HAS been called out, they're saying it's because of what his father did for rugby in the apartheid years. Better yet, they said he was INITALLY EXCLUDED because of what his father did. So you're saying Jake was excluding him because of what his father did for South African rugby? I very much doubt it.

I passed out and when I woke up I nearly wrote an article based purely on the hilarity I saw in the potential headline: "Luke Watson is black."

I didn't have the strength to write anything and later looked at The Argus and the headline was exactly that! LUKE WATSON IS BLACK! I nearly pissed myself. And it wasn't even a joke, it was a FUCKING QUOTE! By none other than Western Cape Premier, Ebrahim Rasool! Huh? Now why is he suddenly getting involved? (I did mention "other influencing bodies" earlier).

So now they're saying that his father's past is the REASON WHY HE IS BEING INCLUDED. Jesus, guys, the story is shifting every step of the way.

Just to bring you up to speed, Cheeky Watson caused a bit of a scene and got into quite a bit of trouble in the old days when he and some other provincial players went to play for a township rugby team. Being slap bang in the middle of apartheid South Africa, they were pushing it a bit and their actions were nothing short of illegal. Rebels with a cause.....

Well clap............fucking.............clap!

Wow! I tell you what, this is pretty exciting for me. You see, it is a fact that my dad organised one of the first rugby games between UCT and a township rugby side in the 70's. It caused such a scene that the president at the time (Vorster?) took away my dad's passport. I'm not spicing you - this is a true story.

Now I just want to know, did they take away Cheeky's passport? Because if they didn't then my dad's stance against apartheid caused MORE of a scene than Cheeky's and MAYBE I SHOULD BE IN THAT FUCKING TRAINING SQUAD? It's been quite some time since I put some dubbin on my Patrick Legends and took them for a run around the park, but at the prospect of getting some top quality post-test-match blow jobs, I'll give it a bash!

It won't be long till you'll once again hear the cries from the sidelines, "Pop it up for CTAP!" (pronounced "see"+"tap"). That's what they used to scream whenever the ball was heading down the line towards me (on the wing) at school.

"Give it to CTAP", they would scream!

CTAP obviously stands for "Coming Through At Pace."

But, unlike Luke, my Dad doesn't refer to me as "The King" and therefore won't be pressurising all and sundry into making sure I make it into the side. We don't operate like that.

We just stay cool.

Humble.

Carrying on with what we were doing.

Waiting for them to do their homework and realise that I'm black.
 

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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*     " I pay, I order" - refers to the moment our boy snatched the menu out of his dinner date's hand, before she made her meal choice, and proclaimed, "I pay, I order."