As 7-year rare Christmas/Sunday-night-cycle sets in
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On December 25 I made valuable use of the empty roads and, after toasting Jesus, packed my car and moved from Bantry Bay to Camps Bay. Grueling, but pleasantly safe from the festive joyous waves of nausea that have now, finally, reached their pinnacle. And, whaddaya know, it's fallen on a Sunday, Caprice's Mona Lisa.

Trying my hand at renting over season has moved me from the Bantry Bay townhouse to the Camps Bay apartment. The move is, amazingly, over. The Bantry Bay/Fresnaye argument that they are better off because Camps Bay gets all the wind, is being put to the test (more on that later).

Break on through to the other side

Un-edible empty shelves necessitated a visit to the Sea Point SuperSpar. Naturally, we are subjected to the usual suspects ignoring each other as they do a mid-peak-season scuttle for essentials. All at pains to enjoy their holiday without having to feign a smile, a chat, or a greeting. Let's just drop the act for these two weeks and ignore each other, you know, make it a REAL holiday.

All my brand specific household favourites had to be re-bought. Brand new bottles/jars of each. What joy. Where is the fucking Coleman's original Hot English fucking mustard, Super Spar? Are you sure about this? The brand, the logo, the taste, the tradition. Are you kidding me? That's like not stocking Coca-Cola! And thanks for bringing back O'Grady's after that bizarre three week 'ban on O'Grady's' you seem to have had. It seems their return kicked actual salt and pepper off the shelves. I shit you not. Unless they're hidden inside a tampon pack on aisle 3, Super Spar Sea Point do not stock salt and pepper.

I am yet to approach Camps Bay in the day time, preferring to use the top road to get around it. The closest I get to it is a quick trip to Bakoven's Beta Beach which allows an amusing tranquil escape. What I find 'amusing' is the fact that you're lying on a tiny (practically deserted) beach, which could easily be a scene from 'The Beach' and you're probably a mere 200 meters away from total and utter carnage. There's something quite fulfilling about that.

Tan on, we advanced towards Caprice, on Christmas, on a Sunday. Good Lord! It's true, anyone in Cape Town can be a rock star. Christmas obviously bestowed some new shades upon the faces of our pseudo rock stars. Armani has a good market share this season. Personally, I did a switch from the tortoise-shell Chanels (as seen on the King's Road in September) to the same shape, except in black. I'm happy with the results. The characters and pseudo-rock stars added to the absolutely ridiculous scene. (By the way, there is no better sight than a seemingly continental Armani clad rock-star/playboy doing his thing, only to see him the next day in his red Volkswagon Citi Golf).

So the word got around that apparently this was the first time in seven years that Christmas has fallen on a Sunday - Caprice's trademark night. People were talking about it like surfers might refer to a seven year storm which brings waves like never before. It's like something out of 'Point Break'. The result was absolute hysteria, complete with bar top dancing girls and total disregard for the effects of large quantities of gold tequila. The queue stretched around the corner as punters dealt with the gradual realisation that the sun would be down before they got in; and they would therefore not be able to sport their new Christmas sunglasses INSIDE the establishment. It's a cruel summer, kids.

Cappers

Camps Bay has a different view. It's a different taste. Granted, it IS more windy, but I am starting to see the beauty of it. To have first hand knowledge of how the beach is looking, is quite special. On the Bantry Bay/Fresnaye side, you still want to go to the beach. You still want to go to Camps Bay beach. Sure, there's Clifton, but if you're too lazy to walk down stairs and you want the convenience of shops and restaurants, the only choice in Camps Bay. But you don't know what the wind is doing. You get packed up for the beach, drive around the corner and it's too late - the beach is shit. So for true beach addicts, Camps Bay let's YOU decide on 'what the weather is doing'. The howling wind adds to the fun. The comforting smug knowledge that you have a commanding view of the Atlantic Ocean almost necessitates the wind.

I'm going to wrap it up now. More articles to come. My new vantage point is sure to inspire. We have a new Mr 2oceansvibe and the holiday season is only getting started. So many things to talk about. AJ Venter has declared war and 2oceansvibe was mentioned in Business Day (Will Di Data and Old Mutual continue to block their employees access to 2oceansvibe?). Stick around.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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