With subsequent answers
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After a bender at Villa Simpson (naughty, Daisy) the night before, there was no way to think before consuming food of an egg nature. You only realise that you'll be spending the whole of Saturday on the beach when you're half way through breakfast at Caprice. G-man, my muse, agreed that the beach made perfect sense.

I forget about things I write about and never know what particular part of my drivel is making the hamster in your heads run faster. Members of the public have been approaching me on the street (never from behind) of late and are seemingly intrigued by the identity of the individual I described in the 28 December 'piece' entitled "Merry Schmerry" in which I spat the following:

"..the whistle-stop tour to Hermanus for the night of the 26th offered dinner conversation laced with some wonderful insight into the inner workings (or lack thereof) of one our more over-exposed local "celebs". I'll let you work it out. Which apostle recently took a young lady on a date to Wakame and, when it came time to order the main course, snatched the menu out of her hands before she could chose her meal and declared, "I pay, I order!"? You know who it is. Pick him. "

The free whats-hot guide to the Cape Town club scene, Playground, also featured the article. I had no idea that something like this would become a talking point, as the identity of the individual should be glaring at you with all the clues I gave. Christ, it's not a fucking Agatha Christie mystery.

Nonetheless, it is pleasing to learn that, among all the confusion, Dave at Caprice seems to have worked out who I was referring to. Good work, Dave. So please, stop asking me - ask Dave.

Once the beach chair guys had pulled their fingers out their arses we settled into some Camps Bay beach action which included the guy that drives that jeep, throwing a frisbee to his mate in a similar fashion and style to a discus olympian. God, he was just outrageous! I was listening to the iPod on shuffle with G.I. Jane and stumbled upon "Islands in the stream" by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers. I decided that if I ever had to chose a song that would play on repeat in my head non-stop until I die, I would be fine with "Islands in the stream". You will be forgiven thinking that Dolly sings the duet with one of the Gibb brothers from The Bee Gees. It seems that The Bee Gees actually wrote the song, having originally intended it for Diana Ross, AND they do happen to feature in the chorus. So that might explain the confusion you've had about the song recently.

 
Dolly and Kenny - completely, recklessly, out of control

 
Kenny Rogers will smile when he feels like smiling

 
Nice, Wason

If you're still with me at this stage I will go on and blind you with more startling facts. Enjoy this, the song was number one for two weeks on the Billboard Top 100 in 1983. The number one just before that was "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler. (which was absolutely beautifully and hilariously covered in the movie Old School - download that video, should you wish, here). Imagine being in your 20's in 1983 and being mind blown by two such powerhouse songs - in a row! Oh, but wait, there's more. The number one tune that came immediately AFTER "Islands in the stream", that SAME year, was "All Night Long" by Lionel Richie! Are you fucking kidding me? How fucking crazy was 1983?! God, if only I had a time machine. I would go back to that glorious year and experience it first hand. I'd lose my mind.

In fact, I'd set the clock back one year earlier to 1982 so that I can spend the first year watching Uncle Rico take State.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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