The show went well yesterday with The Outside Centre. He arrived late but quickly made up for it with his sharp wit and incredible hairstyle.
The Outside Centre - having the best time of his life
Those of you who have been tuning into The 2oceansvibe Show will be pleased to know that I have acquired a "mixer" and from next week's show (Thursdays 15h30 SA Time), you will no longer struggle to hear the sweet music we have been playing for you on the show. It used to be very faint, but no longer will you suffer. The likes of Laura Branigan and Murray Head will now be coming to you at full volume!
[light clap]
Mavis has been particularly testy of late and her interest in me is now bordering on obsessive. She has started making up very poor reasons to talk and interact with me. I don't know WHAT has brought this on but it needs to stop. She was put on invisible mode the other day for being late. This means that I can't see her. She has to be on red alert as to where and what I am doing - this allows her time to get out of the way if I start walking directly towards her. Now off "invisible mode," she is pretending that everything between us is awesome - often (as I said earlier) making up bullshit reasons to interact with me.
Last MONTH Mavis won about seven grand in the fucking lottery which peeved me no end. She gave me the winning ticket as she didn't know what the process was to claim her winnings. I didn't fucking know, so I gave it to The P.A. to see what could be done. The P.A. naturally sorted it all out and gave Mavis the money. Now that was AGES ago...
Then, SUDDENLY, TODAY, Mavis taps on my car window as I am reversing out of the garage.
Christ Almighty....
(I wound down the window)
"YES, Mavis?"
"I just wanted to say thank you for the ticket"
"What?"
"The ticket"
"The TICKET? What the fuck are you talking about, Mavis? Do you mean 'TIK'?, because that is what is coming to mind at the moment"
"No, the TICKET.
With the money."
"The ticket WITH THE MONEY??!?!? Ohhh! The lottery ticket?"
"Yes. Thank you!"
"Ok. Cool. Whatever."
"Can I buy you a box of chocolates to say thank you?" she asks.
I can imagine some of you are going "aaah sweet" now, but if you hung around you would KNOW she is making this WHOLE thing up.
"No, thank you, Mavis. That is a kind gesture but not necessary. You should rather keep that to buy some more Rothmans"
She coughed and spluttered for a second as I raised the tinted window a little higher so that she could just see my sunglasses.
"I must stop smoking," she decided to add."
"Big time!" I told her, as I wound the window up and put on Senza Una Donna, by Zucchero and Paul Young.
QUITE bizarre, the whole thing.
Anyway, this story was going to be about something completely different but it just seemed to go this way.
I need to get into character before I go to Caprice and then Asoka.
I'll leave you with the aforementioned song. The Personal Jukebox, Sox, has promised to start playing it. It's quite nice to chill to.
Or to make love to.
Or even, just on your own - making love to yourself.
