Cop takes Rodrigues from behind, whilst...
[permalink]

Apologies for my potty-mouthed headline, but I'm sure you see the point I'm trying to make. The above is the pic of the front page main headline of the Cape Times newspaper sometime this week. Are you with me? The MAIN big headline of the entire newspaper.

Now I know what it means to finger someone, but I think we know that it brings about laughter every time it is used. To identify someone or to point someone out can NO LONGER use the word "finger". It just can't be done. I am very sure there are people out there who think it is perfectly normal and makes perfect sense, which it does, but why risk it?

If you don't know what I am talking about then please jog on, because you're obviously incredibly out of touch.

Did the person who wrote that article HONESTLY not think for ONE SECOND that people reading it would point out the humour of the headline's sexual ambiguity? I am obviously referring to the possibility of the headline referring to the writing expert using one of his digits (or two) to penetrate Dina Rodrigues. Now that sounds revolting, but I swear to God nearly everyone I spoke to found the headline hilarious for that very reason. They knew what the headline meant, but they took great joy in what it could have ALSO meant.

Now, if you ask me, I would say that a serious newspaper like the Cape Times would prefer to not risk such an ambiguous headline - especially on the front page. Don't you agree? I mean SURELY they want to keep the reader on the ball? I mean SURELY they can't be trying to trick readers into buying the paper with the hope of finding revelations of sexual relations between the writing expert and Dina Rodrigues? I don't get it. Really, why do you risk that? It's beyond me.

The other thing it might be is a joker working at the Cape Times who is getting a kick out of being able to use a reference to a sexual act on the front page, and get away with it. That's what I would do. I'd do it for my mates. Every article I write would use the word "finger".

"TWO MEN ARRESTED IN DRUG BUST"

becomes...

"COPS FINGER DRUG LORDS BEFORE ARRESTING THEM"

HILARIOUS !!!!

When Zuma makes reference to the rape accuser, why don't they push it and make a headline mentioning Zuma fingering the accuser? Ohhhhh, you can't really do it there? Why not? Oh because the case is littered with sexual references? Oh so people would think the headline was referring to something else? ZUMA FINGERS RAPE ACCUSER IN COURT. Is my point coming across now? People think of sex all the time, irrespective of the forum.

It is probably a journalist you has recently heard the word being used in a serious manner and was quite impressed with it and wanted to show how smart he/she is. Well, clap fucking clap, that is very clever of you. But there is no need whatsoever to solicit articles like this one I am writing now, talking about people penetrating by means of their digits. It's vulgar and it's your fault.

"WRITING EXPERT IDENTIFIES RODRIGUES" is perfectly fine.

Or, if you INSIST on spicing up your headline, how about "WRITING EXPERT NAILS RODRIGUES".

But you couldn't do that, because then I would start moaning about visions of the writing expert taking Rodrigues from behind in the docks.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
[permalink]