As we enter the sanctity of post-IDOLS euphoria
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I've been PARTICULARLY quiet this week. I'm sorry my friends. I've been putting together our Mr 2oceansvibe 2005 list which will probably be launching next week. I also decided to take a vow of silence in protest of the way the local IDOLS show is run. I was also celebrating the fact that my Sunday night pre-Caprice TV watching will no longer be marred by Mara, the IDOLS 'judge'. (See what I did there? marred/Mara. You like that?). We lost the Rugby World Cup bid - no more Francois Pienaar in our faces. Tick. IDOLS is over - no more Mara. Tick. Now we just have to find a way to get rid of the '95 WC winners Supersport team and we'll be 'A' for away.

And so another IDOLS winner is crowned. I see that Karin Kortje won the sham on Sunday night. Well done, Karin. Whatever.

Please do yourself a favour and laugh out loud at AJ Venter's words of wisdom HERE. AJ decided to share his views on the IDOLS final. The apt title of AJ's article was....

Wait for it.....

"Karen or Gift?".

Ohhhhh, ok! I see what you've done there! Because the final was between Karin (with an "i" not an "e".) and Gift! Good. (Be more attentative to name spelling, AJ. Her name is 'Karin', not 'Karen'. That's like you being called "BJ" instead of "AJ". You probably wouldn't like that.) Next time I see you please could you confirm that I DID see you giving fashion advice in the new SA Rugby magazine. I'm not being nasty. I'm just asking.

So basically AJ claims he "pissed through his eyes" (treat yourself and read the article HERE) when he watched Karin sing in the final. That's pretty descriptive, AJ, thanks for that. So you cried so hard, it was like piss was coming out of your eyes? Nice one. Good. He claims he has always backed her. Liberal. Good. It sounds like my housemate who claims he has supported Manchester United since he was four. That's pretty amazing. It's also a lie.

Karin Kortje - Winner of IDOLS
(Whatever that means)

Personally, I think the winner was a fucking joke. Not that I watched the final - I stopped after round two. Karin Kortje, an ex fruit picker from the Grabouw region has been crowned the IDOLS winner:

"It's so amazing that someone from such a underprivileged background can be lifted up and.....". Wank wank wank wank wank! Please cork it and look a little further than your nose (not to you, AJ).

Let's stop and see what we're looking for here. What are we craving, people? I think it would be fair to say that THE ULTIMATE PRIZE would be for our winner to become an INTERNATIONAL STAR. Surely we all agree on that? We don't have these competitions to increase the morale in Grabouw, do we? I hope not. Or is this just a feel-good-about-ourselves exercise?

For me, my/our/whatever's IDOL should be mind-blowing (10 out of 10. Voice, looks, tabs (depending on sex of winner, obviously) so that she will stand a better chance of going further in the international pop arena. Heinz Winckler's actual name is absolutely appaling, but he managed to forge a good voice with descent looks. He came fourth in World Idols. Not bad. If I remember correctly I think he even sang a liekie for one of the Disney movies.

The other winner we had was Anke Pietrangeli. Horrendous name and the sex appeal of a shopping trolley. I saw her about a month ago, vomiting out songs at the bottom of the escalator at the V&A Waterfront. (The phrase "Kyk hoe lyk hy nou" could apply here). Is this where we saw ourselves ending up? Was this the aim of our local IDOLS competition? Anke's name came up again the other day when I heard that her boyfriend proposed to her at a Cape Union Mart store opening. Apparently she accepted and, through the tears, shrieked the words "You bugger" three times. Nice. This, ladies and gentlemen, is NOT in the league of Christina Aguilera.

When we say "IDOL", we mean "POP IDOL", everyone knows that. Take a quiet look at the pop charts these days. There is sex appeal. There has to be sex appeal. People are drawn to sex people. I'm sorry but an amazing voice and a story of hardship is not enough. Honestly, I think Karin's voice is incredible but it's not enough to shift some bloody units on the global stage. She has definitely given hope to a lot of people, but is this the main aim of IDOLS?

What do I propose? Well let me show you something. This is Julia. She was knocked out of IDOLS in the very early stages. Take a good look at her and then you'll be able to download a song of hers. Look at her. Imagine her holding you. Imagine the little angel singing songs for you.

Julia. Probably conceptualising.


Julia. Throwing attitude at the camera.
Good. That's it. Work it.

So now that you've had a good look at her, I want you to listen to her. Listen to the little angel. Listen to the little songstress. Is this not more in line with what we're looking for?

Oh, she's 18. (Ahem)

RIGHT-CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD ME JULIE (2.6Mb - MP4 itunes format.)

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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