As an accomplished writer and novelist, I must stress how very easy it is to get into a vibe where one fears the keyboard. I think of AWESOME ideas for stories and I just don't write them. It's such a hilarious concept because a small part of you believes that just thinking about the article sends it out, via osmosis, to the readers.
Whoaah! Hold on just a second. Before I go any further I must go slightly off subject and just mention that our angel, Ana Ivanovic, has made it through to the semi-finals at Wimbledon! Come on, my babba - make Daddy happy. Make Daddy hard.
So I was strolling around the World Wide Web and I suddenly got hooked on the song, "Drop the pilot" by Joan Armatrading. Someone gave me a lift to Youtube where I did a search for "drop the pilot". It came up, but not as I expected........ it was by Mandy Moore!
"Good heavens alive!", I yelped, as I played the video. Look at this little rat bag!
Not a bad attempt at all. Or rather, I am excited that she chose this song. I just didn't expect it. I've never thought much of Mandy Moore and have always regarded her as nothing more than a pork sword who appears in kids' movies. But I did enjoy the little cover of hers. She is very naughty with her bottom lip. I can see what she is doing. She wants me to imagine it..... you know....you know what I'm saying. She clearly enjoys it.
Did you enjoy the way I popped that apostrophe AFTER the 's' in the word 'kids' above? Quietly signifying to you that I was referring to the plural's possession. And there I go again! Being VERY naughty describing what I was doing with the plural, only to use the apostrophe BEFORE the 's' of the word 'plural'! It's getting so crazy round these parts!
So the reason why I was looking for the song in the first place is I just dig how mental the lyrics are. Let me show them to you.
DROP THE PILOT
Joan Armatrading
Drop The Pilot
I'm right on target
My aim is straight
So you're in love
I say what of it
Things can change
There's always changes
And I wanna try
Some rearranging
Drop the pilot
Try my balloon
Drop the monkey
Smell my perfume
Drop the mahout
I'm the easy rider
Don't use your army
To fight a losing battle
Animal, mineral, physical, spiritual
I'm the one you need
I'm the one you need
You're kissing cousins
There's no smoke
No flame
If you lose that pilot
I can fly your plane
If you want solid ground
Come on and try me
Or I can take you so high
That you're never gonna wanna
Come down
Drop the pilot
Try my balloon
Drop the monkey
Smell my perfume
Drop the mahout
I'm the easy rider
Don't use your army
To fight a losing battle
Animal, mineral, physical, spiritual
I'm the one you need
I'm the one you need
I said
Animal, mineral, physical, spiritual
I'm the one you need
I'm the one you need
I'm the one you need
I actually remember writing this song before I gave it to Joan. I was SO fucked at the time.
By the way, a "mahout" is a person who drives an elephant. That will probably help you make more sense of the second last verse. Cos, obviously you would want to drop a mahout after smelling perfume. It just goes without saying. Naturally this would be shortly after trying a balloon and dropping the monkey.
Would've been funny if it was "spank the monkey".
But it's not.
So it doesn't matter.
It's SUCH a waste of time discussing how funny things would be "IF" blah blah blah.
Fuck that. It's not going to happen. And anyway, how COULD Joan spank her monkey? "Monkey" refers SPECIFICALLY to a penis. Never a little vagina.
