As we prepare to celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ
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To explain it would be to overdo it: Behold the 2007 festive season's seething mass, breathing waves of pleasure and enchantment into The Camps Bay Strip, as Cape Town continues to enthrall and amuse in a rhythmic romp of intoxicated euphoria.
Feel it inside you..
Touch yourself..
Well done, everyone, we're doing good....for now. We have made it thus far, unscathed. But it's only the 23rd. There is some way to go.. But never fear, the Gods of weather and time have put together a cunning schedule for us!
The last two days (Friday and Saturday) have been absolute beauties, with "the mercury" childishly seducing the early-30's - a proven catalyst for madness. Things were quite clearly out of control as we, through the haze of dry white, contemplated a woman with the largest pair of tits and the tightest ass, walking into Caprice with nothing but dental floss covering each breast. It was like a porn shoot! Her accessories included last season's Chanel bag and an incredibly plain looking, feeble-framed gentleman, who could only have been her gimp. Great viewing pleasure! Whilst MORE than welcome, I think it's fair to say that they weren't from these parts.
Quality stuff! Keep 'em coming, Jo'burg!
Back to what we were saying before; the bold, the beautiful, the wealthy and the plebs in between have been granted a season with no planning necessary - it all just seems to unfold in front of us. Perfect weather on Friday and Saturday ensured that we got hammered enough to necessitate a day of rest today - a Sunday - and that is exactly what I'm doing (albeit with a bottle of red and some fine pot). It's all wonderful timing.
The sun is also getting some rest as a thick cloud cover has embraced The Atlantic Seaboard today, allowing us some time to reflect (perhaps to include the realisation that we haven't bought Christmas presents yet and Christmas is...... on Tuesday. With Monday in between, it couldn't be more perfect).
Hmm, Christmas Shopping. Yes. Let's think about that for a second..
Tomorrow, Monday, is the 24th of December and, with the potential of rain,I reckon a couple of Calmettes and two hours at The Waterfront should do the trick. Having a scooter also removes 30% of the stress caused dealing with The Waterfront Seasonal Fuck Show. Jesus, I can only IMAGINE how intensely annoying the general public will be; a public peppered with norms sent to destroy me.
Each one a test..
They will NOT take me down..
I know what I'll do. Before I go, I will confuse my body by administering two Calmettes followed by a double cappuccino at Vida e - you know, just to add that video game feel to my shopping experience.
I'll be fine.
Tuesday will be Christmas and, with the folks in town, the warmth of family comfort, combined with the 27 degree weather, will add a natural calming effect to the rarely considered torment that comes with the expectations befalling a global sexual superstar. We will toast Christ Jesus and ponder the wise men and their mysterious gifts. The sun, the booze and the food will meet in the middle, creating a crescendo of hullabaloo, resulting in a moment of ecstasy where we will, as they say in the classics, ALL FALL DOWN.
There will be another day of rest after that, before we enter a bigger day of celebration on the 27th (at 27 degrees) featuring Mother Dearest's birthday, as well as TBG Day.
I'll probably speak to you again before that.
I think you're all doing really well.
Cape Town is proud of you.
2oceansvibe is proud of you.
Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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[A big welcome to The Big "H" from London - an integral part of TBG day]
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