It's like stealing and it feels nice
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We'll just have a change of vibe here for a second. I just want to chat a bit about what actually goes on. I know it may seem to a lot of the beloved readers out there that Seth Rotherham probably inherited a large pot of gold before he had his first mochito, and I can't blame you for that. I do find myself surrounded by the finer things in life and, granted, beautiful women DO find that attractive. They want a better life and they truly can learn to love me. I will give that to them - in return for the loving and warmth that I need. I am an only child and I get scared. I also cry at night and long for my first love to come back.

Now let's get these panties off, my little princess.

Whaaah! Lag. But seriously folks, without getting all "property" here and indulging in real estate conversation that is as common as a car guard these days. I do have some property on the Atlantic Seaboard and, as regular readers will tell you, I do indulge in 'the real estate market' conversation from time to time.

I have some connections in the real estate game and I am very aware of the various commissions that are thrown around between bond originators and estate agencies. That is fair enough and that is how they make their money. Well done. You're commission driven. Fine.

So I bought a property on "The Atlantic" and had recently bumped into a friend of mine who was in the bond origination game. Because he was an old friend, and because I knew the game, I thought I would whisper in his ear.

(You can put a comma before "and" sometimes)

I called him one night and, in a muffled voice, asked him if we could "make a plan" with the commission. He agreed and it seemed that he would pay me back some for the commission that he earned on the deal, in exchange for doing the job through him. All very hush-hush, of course. I decided to believe it when I saw it.

It fucking happened! The sale went through and the money was deposited into my bank account. The feeling of guilt was astounding. For the next few months I felt bad paying for rounds of drinks at the bar with "dirty money". Honestly, I felt awful. I was about to buy another property - an apartment in Camps Bay, and I didn't know if I should risk doing the kickback vibe again.

(God, this Degrendel Savignon Blanc is DELICIOUS!)

And then I found out that there was nothing to worry about. It WASN'T EVEN ILLEGAL IN THE FIRST PLACE! Someone had started a company that did exactly that! How funny is that?! And then I realised how thick everyone in the bond origination game is! Here is a concept that is LEGAL but no-one has thought of offering it to the client. Honestly, it's brilliant. I met a guy from www.mymortgage.co.za who has started a company that has made the payback system their angle. God, it's so easy. They just don't pay the estate agent any commission!

And this is a new concept! It seems the average mortgage bond guy on the street is about as sharp as a beach ball.

Feel the rush of stealing - legally

So they give YOU the kickback. They pay for the bond registration fees (the legal crap) which is just less than 1% and they also give 0.05% of the value of the bond, cash back to you. It works out to a total saving of 1.3% which is bigger than the first month's payment on the bond. Are you listening to me? I love you and I am here for you, but I also want to help you. This is how I give it back to you, the faithful 2oceansvibe readers. I took out a R1m bond on my apartment and they paid about R8,000 in legal fees and then they gave me R5,000 cash. I'm fine with that. I don't feel bad about that. I can hold my head up high when I use it to buy another bottle of Dom.

Don't judge me.

I've done nothing illegal.

Thank me later, but for now, chat to these monkeys at www.mymortgage.co.za. Even better, call them on 0861-mymortgage (0861-696678, for the idiots).

Your round.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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