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I know you enjoy it when I write while I'm under the influence of alcohol. You'll be happy to know I'm on my 5th Spier Chenin Blanc.

STOP! I can pretend that I am writing this article 8 hours earlier, or I can tell the truth............... that I wrote a beautiful, fucking hysterical article (8 hours earlier) and I fucked it up and lost it! I am NOT on my 5th glass - I MUST be on my tenth. I can't believe I lost an article. I saved another article over it and lost the orginal! I know! I am sorry! I fucked up! It was a brilliant article, documenting my state as I launched into the Spier Chenin Blanc. I spoke of the state I was in, versus the shape I was in (Shhh, James). I spoke of all sorts of things. Unfortunately we'll never know what they were, cos they're all a blur now. But I'll tell you one thing, I'm WAY more hammered than I was earlier. Another thing about earlier.... I added a pic of Chrlotte Casiraghi (Princess Charlotte of Monaco, for the slow players). I had no reason to add her; but I did. And I don't think there is any harm in that. And so, for no reason whatsoever. Hold your breath.

Charlotte
The grand prize

Breathe out. I'm starting to remember what I wrote about earlier. It was something about the fact that I was chilling next to the pool since lunch time, drinking my Spier Chenin Blanc. The reason why I had the 'Spier Chenin Blanc' on tap was, and still is, because I had some e-bucks left in my First National Bank account. E-bucks are/is the currency of/in/whatever the FNB loyalty programme. I went to the e-bucks website and EVERYTHING was so crap that the only obvious resort was to blow ever last e-buck on the wine section. I have no more e-bucks left, but I have a fat-load of wine. Ta.

So basically it's all come to an end. I lost the article, I'm pissed, the neighbours FUCKING dog is barking, and I haven't even got to the point. What is the point? I don't know. Christ, that wine is tit. Oh yes! In my article which I lost earlier, which no-one will ever see, I mentioned the new word.

The new word is 'TIT'.

Some of you already know it. And that's fantastic. It's great that you have used the word 'tit'. It's great that you understand the beauty of it (Do you? Do you really? You fucking idiot.) So seriously, let's run through a couple of examples.

"Did you try any nightclubs?"

"Fucken big time! We went to that club called "MasterGeneral", it was fucken TIT!

Ok, that was quite hectic. Let's try another one....

"Fuck your laptop is TIT"

"Your shoes are fucken TIT"

"What do you think of my new ACA JOE jeans?"

"I don't know.... ACA JOE never called me back. "

dot dot dot.... "What do we think of ACA JOE jeans?"

And the question for everyone remains.. will ACA JOE ever be 'tit'. Will it ever be cool enough to be "tit"?

God knows.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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