A beautiful saga
[permalink]

There was a stunning email going around this last week which contained an email conversation between a landlord's agent and the tenant. The topic was to do with the landlord's concern over the amount of people living in the house. The tenant's response was hysterical and the agent subsequently found out about the emails being sent around the internet - with hilarious results. (who talks like that?)

I thought this pic would just set the tone for the story

Read this in order:

> >From: Jade Atkins
> >Sent: Thursday, 12 July 2007 4:03 PM
> >To: Michael Hustler
> >Cc: Tim Neville; Jonathan Kearins; Nick Babos
> >Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
> >Importance: High
> >
> >Hi Guys,
> >
> >During the last inspection it came to the owners attention that there is
> >more than 4 people living in the property. Please advise / confirm as
> >the owner has requested this information urgently.
> >
> >As there is only 4 people on the lease and the applications were
> >approved on this basis we must ask that the tenants (not currently
> >listed on the lease) to fill out and submit application forms
> >immediately.
> >
> >Once this has been done we will be in contact to advise if the
> >applications have been approved.
> >
> >
> >Yours Sincerely,
> >
> >Jade Atkins
> >Property Manager
> >Belle Property Rentals

_______________________________

> >From: Tim Neville
> >Sent: Thursday, 12 July 2007 5:29 PM
> >To: Jade Atkins
> >Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
> >Importance: High
> >
> >
> >Jade,
> >
> >There is definitely not more than 4 people living in the house and never
> >has been. I will declare that formally if required. There may have been
> >a guest staying at the time (but I don't think so) but this is unusual -
> >unusual it would occur during the week that is.
> >
> >As you know Jade, we are 4 single young men making every day count. We
> >feel we are at the peak of our powers right now and sometimes this
> >involves us flexing it a little on the Sydney social circuit. I don't
> >proclaim to be a rock star but I am not a homebody either - my fellow
> >housemates will attest to this and I will attest to them in the same
> >vein. Some things transcend from heightened social stamina and one of
> >those Jade is over night guests. I think we both know what we're talking
> >about.
> >
> >So it seems we may simply be caught up on a definitional point. We only
> >have 4 people living at Trelawney but we do have guests quite regularly.
> >Babsy has more guests than Jonny for example but Jonny's standards are
> >higher - that's neither here nor there.
> >
> >We work hard and we play hard Jade and unfortunately the play spills
> >over a little but this does not constitute a breach of lease. All in all
> >I think we are excellent tenants and hold the premises in high regard.
> >
> >Please put this on the file.
> >
> >Tim
> >
> >p.s. about that dinner we have been trying to organize, how about next
> >week?

_______________________________

> >From: Jade Atkins
> >Sent: Friday, 13 July 2007 11:16 AM
> >To: Tim Neville
> >Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
> >Importance: High
> >
> >Hi Tim,
> >
> >I've cleared it with the owners so everything should be fine now.
> >
> >I hate it when old people act like that. They probably haven't seen any
> >action for years. Old bastards causing me trouble!
> >
> >About dinner, I've fairly busy next week but Wednesday or Thursday night
> >are both free if that's okay with you. Let me know.
> >
> >
> >Yours Sincerely,
> >
> >Jade Atkins

_______________________________

> >From: Tim Neville
> >Sent: Friday, 13 July 2007 4:41 PM
> >To: Jade Atkins
> >Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
> >Importance: High
> >
> >
> >Jade,
> >
> >I'm otherwise disposed on Wednesday, so Thursday it will be. How about
> >we meet at Hugo's at around 7 and go from there.
> >
> >Enjoy your weekend.
> >
> >
> >
> >Tim

_______________________________

> >From: Jade Atkins
> >Sent: Monday, 16 July 2007 9:03 AM
> >To: Tim Neville
> >Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
> >Importance: High
> >
> >Hi Tim,
> >
> >That sounds perfect!
> >
> >See you then. Looking forward to it.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Yours Sincerely,
> >
> >Jade Atkins
> >Property Manager
> >Belle Property Rentals

_______________________________

> >From: Tim Neville
> >Sent: Monday, 16 July 2007 10:08 AM
> >To: Jade Atkins
> >Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
> >Importance: High
> >
> >
> >I should hope that you are looking forward to it.
> >
> >Now no more talk until Thursday night. I want you to save up all of that
> >energy and excitement for then.
> >
> >Tim

_______________________________

> >From: Jade Atkins
> >Sent: Monday, 23 July 2007 12:53 PM
> >To: Tim Neville
> >Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
> >Importance: High
> >
> >Dear Tim aka Arsehole,
> >
> >Why the f*** are people calling me and emailing me about your email?
> >
> >I can't believe that you or your pathetic friends would be low enough to
> >forward it around the internet like that.
> >
> >
> >People in my office think I'm a f***ing idiot because of it. I could
> >lose my job over this!
> >
> >Maybe I should send an email around telling everyone how f***ing tiny
> >your cock is and how you were so useless in bed.
> >
> >
> >I hope you f*** off and die.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Yours Sincerely,
> >
> >Jade Atkins
> >Property Manager
> >Belle Property Rentals

_______________________________

> >From: Tim Neville
> >Sent: Monday, 23 July 2007 3:08 AM
> >To: Jade Atkins
> >Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
> >Importance: High
> >
> >
> >Jade,
> >
> >I might save you the trouble and forward this around on your behalf.
> >
> >While many people will certainly take offence to what I have said (and
> >already have), the majority of people will get a good laugh at how low
> >your self esteem must be to not only scramble around to save us from any
> >trouble with the owners, but to also sleep with someone who clearly has
> >no respect for you.
> >
> >As for the size of my appendage and my performance in bed, I find this
> >quite hard to understand. Not only do I have quite a few repeat
> >customers, but you yourself seemed enthused the other night. Unless you
> >were faking that. But if you do have the ability to fake coming multiple
> >times then you may wish to consider a career in a different industry. I
> >think we both know what I am taking about.
> >
> >I am sorry if you do lose your job over the email. However, as I was not
> >the one who forwarded the emails I am not THAT sorry. But if you do need
> >a job, then I may be able to make some use of you over at our place.
> >However you will not be able to live there: only 4 people on the lease
> >you understand.
> >
> >Tim

Whaaah! I'm FINE with that! Good boy, Tim!

2oceansvibe enjoys your vibe!

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
[permalink]