MUCH excitement as new buzz-word hits the headlines
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I don't know if I have the strength to watch this one unfold; that mass journalistic masturbation that comes with a big news event having one specific word attached to the story, which happens to be tricky to pronounce and/or spell. It is usually a word that is new to the masses and everyone joins the hysterical rush to grasp the word, learn its spelling and pronunciation, and then pretend that they knew it all along. The sad thing is it goes for the journalists as well. Especially over here where mainstream broadsheets often have multiple journalists covering the most basic of stories (if you pay peanuts..). A new "big word" for these guys is like a nineteen year-old getting a boob job - it's all very exciting and any opportunity to flaunt them for the first couple of months will be abused. Look, fake tits never get boring, but you know what I'm trying to get at.

"Tsunami" rolls off our tongues quite naturally nowadays and you would swear everyone was using this word a few years back. No. Incorrect. We were not. Some of us knew the word but we certainly weren't using it willy nilly. Hardly anyone knew the word, let alone the spelling and pronunciation. But then came the tsunami that wiped out the twin towers and people were dropping tsunami into normal conversation like it was a full stop.

"God that beer was good! It really has a TSUNAMI of flavour!"

Whooo! Well done, A-hole! How about we order you a TSUNAMI of shut the fuck up?

And now, suddenly, we have discovered the word XENOPHOBIA. Oh my God! It's so bad - I can feel my neck stiffen as it gains momentum. And it's only going to get worse. Believe me. The fact that the word starts with an "x" makes it SO fucking exciting and intriguing that the journalists out there cannot help but use it. The "ph" forming a "f" sound in the SAME word is simply too much for... ahem, words. And then "phobia" gives it that edge - like a virus that is spreading out of control. Christ, the word is SO desirable! The one weekend paper I read this weekend had the word displayed in about six headlines, as well as featuring it in the weekly cartoon. It's like a xenophobic fuckhouse over here.

Mind you, South Africa's two biggest online news sources, iol and News24, aren't doing too badly today. These two screen shots were taken at exactly the same time this morning. Nine mentions on two front pages..

News24 - going for it
 

iol - both leading stories gobbling it up

(I know one shouldn't laugh, but the headline link in orange at the bottom of the iol screen shot above, is a little overly dramatic for my liking. Imagine, almost wishing a holocaust to happen.)

You see, what has happened here is the South African people and media are so used to crying "racist" or "racism" when people of different ethnic backgrounds come to a head, that we drew a blank with this latest trend of black on black violence. No-one knew what to do! It was first quite a novelty to refer to black people as being racist against white, as it was the exact opposite of the original norm. But now... black on black.... what the fuck are we going to call that? Aaah, ZENNOFOBIA!! Sorry, ZENNOPHOBIA!!

What?

Huh? I don't believe you. How can a "X" make a "Z" sound? Isn't the "X" meant to make a click sound?

Are you sure?

Cool.

EVERYBODY HAS GOT XENOPHOBIA!!! RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!

I've just watched coverage of the same South African "xenophobic" violence on three international TV channels and NONE of them used the word xenophobia or xenophobic. God, it's just too adorable for words. It's like when I did a project at school on the Coelacanth. Ever since then I drop its name in the most ridiculous places. I ordered it the other night at The Codfather.

They didn't have it.

Let's ride this xenophobia bullshit through and hold thumbs for the moment our journalists and general public get tired of it and decide to learn about a new, more fun word, like "clusterfuck" (which, funnily enough, describes exactly what is going on here).


Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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