2OCEANSVIBE EXCLUSIVE -
GUMTREE JOB OFFER FOR OFFICE SLUT

Very Personal Assistant required..

I couldn't quite believe mine eyes as I read through this job offer and subsequent email exchange between a genuinely hopeful candidate and the potential employer. It is a rare treat for it to fall into place so effortlessly. We refer to these sets of circumstance as a "gift."

I would like to make it clear that this is 100% genuine and has come via a 2oceansvibe character who is friend's with the applicant.

The Gumtree job offer and emails below are presented in chronological order for your comfort and convenience - starting at the top and ending at the bottom. Very similar to a book, and exactly the opposite to an email chain.

Sit back. Relax. And enjoy!

(This pic was clearly NOT included in the ad..)

Vibrant PA required

Ad ID : 92985069
Visits : 251
Location : Cape Town, Atlantic Seaboard, The Waterfront
Date Listed : 08/12/2008

Successful businessman (33) is looking for a very open-minded and vibrant candidate to provide assistance with general secretarial, administrative and PA duties. No previous experience required as specific training can be provided, but person needs to be generally computer literate.

Employer is looking for a special candidate to provide a unique career opportunity to with extraordinary rewards. Person needs to have a pleasant personality, with spunky, playful and naughty nature, since employer is looking for someone to form a close inter-personal bond of trust, privacy and discretion with mutual benefit.

Salary is negotiable between R10,000 - R18,000 per month and various other benefits like Medical Aid and motorvehicle allowance etc, based on compliance with employer's requirements. Job is available immediately.

Interested candidates who comply with all the requirements and who is comfortable to work in a close inter-personal environment, please email CV and picture to: futurestrategy.mail@gmail.com to apply.

Ok, so you're getting into it. I'll put the response in red and the guy's emails in blue.
  

Hi Adrian

Hope you are well. Stef sent through my CV on my behalf regarding the PA position advertised on Gumtree. I would like to know more about your company. Please advise if you would like for me to attend an interview. I will be on leave from this Friday (12th) onwards, so I will be available.

Looking forward to your response

Kind regards

Jenny
  

Nice. Now we venture a little deeper.
  

Hi Jenny

I looked at your application with a lot of interest and I am very keen to see what we can work out. I dont know if you saw the ad yourself and if only Stef saw it, but i am really looking for a very open-minded person. So let me lay it out for you to ensure we are indeed on the same page:

I am looking for a very particular kind of person and I need to ensure you are indeed comfortable with all my requirements. I am very straight forward and want to ensure you know exactly what I am looking for so we can be sure not to disappoint each other and I trust I will not offend you in the process. I am looking for someone who can be very good at her job, but also someone who will be open-minded enough and prepared to take excellent care of my needs and in turn I can take wonderful care of her financially. I intend for this to be based on a very inter-personal relationship between myself and this person and I want to make work a place of work and fun, all in complete privacy, confidentiality and discretion.

I found you extremely attractive and I would really be willing to take excellent financial care of you (up to R25k per month) in the event that we can agree on the fulfillment of my requirements. I can promise you that I am a very good looking guy as well and you would be totally happy with that side of things. I also live in Bloubergstrand and may also be able to work from there, in which case you may find it very convenient.

I am looking for someone who can take up this opportunity and make best of it. Would you consider yourself to be suited for this position and would you be able to fulfill the requirements? If not, I trust you will appreciate my honesty and I then wish you all the best in finding the right job for you.

If you are interested, then let me know so we may take this further.

Kind regards

Adrian

  
Hey?! Are you not just LOVING this? It's so awesome to read. To me, it's like eating chocolate - that's how it feels when I read this kind of stuff. Let's carry on..
  

Hi Adrian

Are you suggesting that one of my tasks would be having a sexual relationship with you?

Jenny
  
  

Hi Jenny

I hope that by being specific I will not offend you, but yes, I would like to establish that kind of a relationship though. I am looking for something where both people can be extremely well taken care of by the other i intend for it to be confined to work hours only, on a non-emotional basis and without it having an affect on any people in our lives and of cours ALL COMPLETELY CONFIDENTIALLY.

In terms of the job - there are 2 areas of focus:

Secretarial duties - this is mostly around the general tasks of diary management, correspondence, event co-ordination, travelling arrangements etc. This area to me is pretty standard in its requirements and perhaps an organised individual would be an asset here.

Interaction with me and having fun: I think I would like a person to create an environment with me of work and play, so that we can have fun when we are not busy. I am a very sensual person and I would like to find someone who would be comfortable to interact with me in that regard.

I would like to provide this person with a fantastic career opportunity with mutual reward, all in complete confidentiality, so I am not talking the emotional relationship stuff, in fact I would like to find someone who can have her own personal life and still be comfortable to create this opportunity with me in complete discretion and privacy.

I know it may sound like a tall order, but I am very nice guy and I can assure you I would be able to really give you the most awesome working arrangements, the most flexible and the most rewarding.

Let me know how you feel as I am very keen to make something work with you..

A
  

Hi Adrian

From your detailed effort to describe the tasks at hand, I certainly would be the best person for 1st request (ie secretarial duties/PA) and I certainly would be an asset to any company and value my worth in this regard. On that note of worth and value, under no circumstances what so ever will I submit to sexual behavior OF ANY KIND in the workplace and its quite disgusting that you think this would be an option for any other woman out there, who truly values their worth. Its people like you, that degrade the integrity of a working relationship and degrade women.

You indeed went through lengths to sugar coat your intentions, so let me keep this short. My answer is NO!!!!!

Jenny

A tremendous performance! Please join me in a standing ovation for Adrian. Adrian, 2oceansvibe applauds you for completely pushing every possible limit. Especially coming clean with the fact that "Vibrant PA" actually means "Office Whore."

That, and claiming that Bloubergstrand was a part of The Waterfront.

It is indeed a rare treat. The intimate PA. In a bizarre way one has to respect his courage, he will eventually get someone who goes along with it, and while we drink tea when feeling a bit jaded and tired and read the paper, he'll be sipping on a double latte to go with fellatio.

[thanks zone]

- Seth Rotherham
Editor
www.2oceansvibe.com