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China
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Workers In Chinese iPad Factories Not Allowed To Commit Suicide
04 May 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
Chinese factories making iPads and iPhones are forcing staff to sign pledges not to commit suicide. If your first reaction to this story’s headline is one of confusion, then join the club. I mean, why would someone who builds iPads for a living be anything but ecstatic, right? But do yourself a favour and read through the rest of this piece before switching careers.
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The Chinese ‘Jasmine-Revolution:’ Turning Politburo Paranoia Against Itself
19 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
A number of bloggers have been making reference to a ‘Jasmine Revolution,’ wherein Chinese citizens show discontent for local corruption by walking around crowded public areas on Sunday afternoons. This never happened, but Sunday walks did. Authorities are convinced that the protest is still happening.
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Fake Army Recruited In American Immigration Scam
15 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
A resident of Temple City, California, is accused of running a fake military recruitment centre, where Chinese would-be-immigrants were made to pay to join a “special forces reserve” unit that would supposedly improve their chances of becoming US citizens. The “unit” is well known in Los Angeles, and was assumed to be genuine.
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Mind The Bus
24 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
While walking is not always the most practical way of getting around, with troublesome Mercury turning retrograde in a few days’ time, you may want to try staying off trains, planes and other forms of mechanical transport for a little while. As evidenced by a tragic public transport collision in China earlier today.
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China Tightens Electronic Security By A Whole Bunch Of Notches
23 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
If you say the word ‘protest’ too frequently in a cell-phone conversation in Beijing, your call gets cut off. No spice. We have pretty strict phone etiquette policies here at 2ov, granted, but generally we allow calls, once placed, to proceed without Big Brother intervention.
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Disgrunted Customer Hires People To Destroy His Lamborghini [VIDEO]
17 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 4 Comments
This hurts me somewhere deep inside. A customer disgusted by the poor service at Lamborghini China service station responded to the situation by hiring a mob with sledgehammers to tear into his Lamborghini Gallardo L140 – this, apparently, to draw attention to poor customer service.
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New Chinese Law Will Force Kids To Visit Their Elderly Parents
14 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Firstly, no kids for me thank you very much. Secondly, if you are going to have kids and they turn around to bite you in the arse one day, then that’s the risk you take. But people see things differently in China, and the rate of elderly suicides have tripled in the last decade. In an attempt to curb this, the Chinese government wants to impose a law that will force children to visit their aging parents. If they don’t, their parents can sue them.
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Beijing Is Tracking All Mobile Phone User’s Movements
04 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
They can do that now. By ‘they’ I mean ‘those with money and de facto power,’ obviously, not specifically the heads of the PRC – but I mean government scrutiny of human movement is being implemented on a huge, huge scale. It’s called the Information Platform of Real-time Citizen Movement – which sounds like a good and reasonable platform.
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Lots Of Space At This Year’s Nobel Peace Prize Bash
08 Dec 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
That’s because everyone’s boycotting it. China said they’re not going so then Russia said if China’s not going they’re not going and obviously if Russia’s not going Kazakhstan’s not going either. Now Iran, Iraq and Vietnam joined a growing number of countries that refuse to attend the western world’s award ceremony run by “clowns” who are “interfering in China’s judicial affairs.” Where is the love?
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Cao Ni Zu Zong Shi Ba Dai
12 Nov 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Cao ni zu zong shi ba dai. It’s probably about time I learned to speak Mandarin. According to research just published by the Conference Board, a highly respected research institute, the Chinese economy will overtake that of the poor old US by 2012 in terms of output.
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FASHION ALERT: CHINA SUFFERS BOEP-FLASHING PLAGUE
01 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
China is suffering under the weight of a societal malaise. And this time it’s not due to the influence of the Great Western Devil. In the sweltering heat of summer, when the refreshing breezes desert the city, Hu Lianqun absent-mindedly reaches for a solution: He rolls up his shirt to expose his belly, often fanning […]
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“THE OFFICE” BRING GLORIOUS REVOLUTION HAPPY SMILES TO CHINA
16 Aug 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Ricky Gervais has announced via his blog that he’s working on an installment of The Office for China, in addition to the Israely, German, Canadian, and French and American versions already in existence. I’m not so sure an obscure, culturally-based sitcom will work in China, especially considering that their gold standard for comedy usually goes […]
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THE BEATING CHAMBER – NOW IN MALLS
15 Jul 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
In the gulag that Seth has us working in, we have a beating chamber. It’s the one small mercy of my life at 2oceansvibe. When I’m relieved of my duties as a human coffee table (after meetings), I go back to the beating chamber, where I get to break microwaves, furniture and sunglasses from rival […]
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RENT A WHITE GUY
17 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
This is some pretty cool reading for those of you still trying to shake the post-public holiday major Bafana let down cobwebs. If you’re a white guy in Beijing incapable of speaking a shred of Mandarin, you might feel that your employment opportunities are limited. Or you could get off your ass and get paid […]
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IT SUCKS TO BE McHOMELESS
07 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
According to a report by Shanghai’s Southern Weekly, the southern Chinese city has a bit of a McProblem. And that would be the McRefugees. It’s a pretty heavy vibe.
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