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Canada
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Toronto Mayor Knocks Over Female Councillor [VIDEO]
20 Nov 2013 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Following a tumultuous council debate, it was decided that disgraced mayor Tom Ford would be stripped of all his powers. He reacted violently.
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Remember That Bitcon ATM idea? Here It Is Actually Working [VIDEO]
31 Oct 2013 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Remember the story about a bitcoin ATM opening in Canada? Well, they’ve already installed it and its working as we speak. The machine now lives at Waves Coffee House in Vancouver’s downtown area. It uses palm-recognition for users to log in to their accounts, which is pretty nifty – but could get pretty gross pretty quickly.
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The World’s First Bitcoin ATM Is On Its Way [VIDEO]
28 Oct 2013 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
If you’ve been reading our stories on bitcoins recently you’d be forgiven for thinking that Bitcoin is only used by the most nefarious online criminals, because they are largely untraceable. You’d be partially wrong though, as absolutely anyone can use Bitcoin anywhere in the world. And now, the ever-progressive Canada is launching the very first Bitcoin ATM.
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Canadian Guy Tweets Request For Weed, Canadian Police Retweet, Internet Goes Mental
15 Aug 2013 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Twitter is used for many things these days, but it is also key to remember who may be following you. This Canadian mechanic used Twitter to request marijuana from local drug dealers. He also asked them to deliver the stash to his work. And that’s when the York Regional Police retweeted him, asking if they can come along, too.
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Canadian Parliament Discusses Possibility Of Zombie Invasion – Excellent Discussion Ensues [VIDEO]
14 Feb 2013 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The House of Commons was assured yesterday that Canada is a zombie-free zone according to the Foreign Affairs Minister, John Baird. Winnipeg New Democrat Pat Martin warned the house, I don’t need to tell you, Mr. Speaker, that zombies don’t recognize borders. Martin raised the issue of a Quebec Government disaster plan that used a mock zombie […]
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Dr. Shock Claims Alleged Sexual Assault Was A Medical Technique He Learnt In South Africa
17 Oct 2012 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
Aubrey Levin is on trial in Canada for sexually assaulting 10 patients between 1999 and 2010. He is claiming the prolonged fondling of his patients’ genitals was a technique he learned in South Africa to treat erectile dysfunction
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Drug Charges Dismissed After 1 600 Seized Plants Turn Out To Be Daisies
05 Oct 2012 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Well I’m certainly looking at this weekend’s Rocking The Daisies festival a little differently. A Canadian man is breathing a huge sigh of relief after police laboratory tests revealed that his grow operation was completely legal. He tried to raise this with the police during the raid, but I’d imagine that the “It’s not weed, I swear!” excuse wasn’t that effective.
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Rapper Tweets “YOLO”, Dies In Car Crash Minutes Later
13 Sep 2012 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
This is why you don’t tempt fate. Or use stupid sayings. Or tweet whilst driving. Or tweet while driving drunk, while “going 120 drifting corners.” This is the fate that was suffered by a Canadian rapper and his friends recently, after deciding to have a little too much fun.
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Canada Health Official: Pure Ecstasy Okay
15 Jun 2012 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Glow sticks burned brightly all over Canada yesterday as optimistic ravers partied at the thought of being able to pick up doses of MDMA at their local government run ecstasy shops. Dr Perry Kendall said that pure MDMA is “safe” when consumed responsibly by adults.
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Miss Universe Canada Finalist Disqualified For Being Transgender
26 Mar 2012 by Jasmine Stone / 5 Comments
6’1′ bombshell, Jenna Talackova of Vancouver was disqualified from the Donald Trump-owned Miss Universe Canada beauty pageant for “not meeting the requirements to compete despite having stated otherwise on her entry form,” according to competition officials. By which they mean she was disqualified for being born with male genitalia.
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Canada Elects Unprecedented Neoconservative Government
03 May 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
In what’s been the most radical political shift in about a century, Canadians yesterday voted the Conservative Party into a 100-seat majority – meaning first time in history, the New Democratic Party will form the Official Opposition. Former Prime Minister Harper’s government was forced into an election after a no-confidence vote in parliament.
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Another Reason Not To Emigrate [VIDEO]
24 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Yes, our little country has its issues, but before we all start whinging like the DA on a slow day at parliament, lets just take a moment. It’s Monday, but things could be worse, at least we will never wake up to weather like this…
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There Aren’t Really Any Good Puns About Green Rivers In Canada [VIDEO]
10 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
I know, I was surprised too. Some dudes in Canada decided to hurl a couple of bottles of flouroscein into the Goldstream River, turning the whole thing bright flouro green. Way to one-up the Old Testament, Canada. I thought you guys were supposed to be nice.
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That Bieber Kid’s Memoirs Read By Legendary Thespian
20 Oct 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The legendary Canadian actor, Gordon Pinsent, reads us his favorite parts from musical monolith Justin Bieber’s memoirs. Bieber has a tremendous amount to say about his 16 years of experience, and we are grateful for his sharing with us.
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THERE’S NO ACCOUNTING FOR GLOBAL TASTE
25 Aug 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Singapore – Doesn’t suck We’re already living in a global village. So the idea of national borders is becoming increasingly strained. Gallup has released data describing where in this big village respondents would re-locate if exorbitant costs (i.e. Visas and travel fees) and international borders weren’t part of the process. “Sulplise!” Most people said they’d […]
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NANDOS CANADA BRAND POSITIONING – QUITE CLOSE TO THE BUTTOCKS
10 Aug 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 5 Comments
Let me blow your mind: Nandos is in Canada. And no, Brandon Huntley didn’t franchise it. Shocking news, ey? I mean, Nandos must surely be as quintessentially South African as KFC, what with it’s Portuguese name, recipes and store decor. Nevertheless, the great chicken company in the sky is downright universal, making an appearance across […]
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