The sun shone through very nicely earlier, which resulted in a well deserved little dip at Beta Beach. And now the clouds have come over. Not that it’s a problem from The Safe House, as this is the result..   FINE!

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elSIES RIVER   Good. PASS   [thanks sudhir]

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Great to piss your buddies off at work. It comes with a big red button – which is the sole purpose of the website. You press this button for a beautiful rimshot, like the old-school comedians used to have after each joke. Please refrain from any “rim job” jokes. We’re quite particular about using jokes […]

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I’m a big fan of the colour pink and don’t mind splashing my vibe with a little bit here and there. Like the odd pink shirt, or pink socks. I must say, I don’t have any pink jocks. Do Calvin Klein make pink boxers/briefs for guys? Mum, could we investigate that please? Ta. Now, much […]

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EAT YOUR FOOD, TINA!   Lindsay Lohan at the opening of Matthew Williamson’s New York store yesterday during the Mercedes-Benz Fall 2009 Fashion Week   That photo has not been photoshopped, by the way. I’d like to take this opportunity to confirm to all women out there, that we (men) do NOT like that look […]

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  WHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! [thanks charl]

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Whereas I would almost certainly claim to have a bigger dick than that of an offending sex tape, Joost has gone the other route – he claims that it can’t be him, because the guy in the video’s main-chap is way too big to be his. Joost and his wife, Amor (Before sex tape) This, […]

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Just chilling here with my main man, The Photographer. So he says to me, “Jeez, it’s tit today! the sky is very pastel.” I was like, “fucken big time! I need to show my gorgeous readers!” And here it is!!    

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I don’t like to give all my secret tricks away. But when you have over 18,000 tricks up your sleeve, it REALLY doesn’t dent your inventory if you give the odd one away. Especially when it is helping you, my gorgeous 2oceansvibe readers – the most treasured of my possessions. Now, a lot of you […]

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So this little shit in the UK has become a dad at the age of 13. Which is fairly incredible, given that 13 would put us in standard 5 (“grade” 7). Personally, I was in standard 6 (I was incredibly bright as a child) at that age and talk of sex was definitely apparent in […]

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I’m just gathering myself. Joost van der Westhuizen has apparently been caught in a sex tape, filmed by a whore, whilst on coke. It doesn’t get better than this, ladies and gentlemen. This is the the biggest SA scandal since Hansie lied to us. Quietly enjoy this, from HEAT: You’ve seen the headlines and read […]

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I was browsing our preferred eventing and organising company, Marina’s Little Black Book, and I noticed there were two more names added to the coordinating powerhouse!   Marina’s Little Black Bookwww.thelittleblackbook.co.za I don’t know about you, but these pics I found on the Little Black Book website of Brodie Thompsett and Amanda Boardman suggest we’ve […]

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It’s interesting to note that this whole debacle with Idols began when 2oceansvibe suggested that Dave Thompson experienced a Freudian slip when he told a contestant that there might be no a show next year. We even gave reasons for the slip, including the possibility that the show might be going on, but perhaps Dave […]

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Rihanna   Jesus, Chris Brown gave her quite a serious tight left. It’s amazing how quickly something like that can completely strip you of all street cred. That, and kiddie fiddling – instant downfall.   [thanks anna]   UPDATE: THIS PIC IS A PHOTOSHOPPED FAKE. UNFORTUNATELY OUR SOURCE IS QUITE GULLIBLE AND DIDN’T CHECK HER […]

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One of the most famous pics to come out of the latest Australian fire tragedy, is this one, showing a fireman giving water to a Koala bear.     The bear was first called Ken, but then they found out that he was actually a female. So they went for Sam the Koala Bear. There […]

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Before I kick off here, it should just be noted that, although being in the same league of beauty, Bar Rafaeli is no relation to local female publishing dynamos Vanessa and Julia and the Raphaely Dynasty. They went for the “ph” and the “y”, rather than the “f” and the “i.” I must say ‘m […]

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Is currently on TV channel 113 (16h34 Sunday)   The time as I write this is 16h34 on Sunday afternoon. If you are reading this in time, I have a tip for you. QUIETLY put on channel 113 on your satellite and slip into The Bodyguard. Like I have. It’s just started. God I missed […]

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Now we all know about the supreme skills on display by the likes of our national cricket and rugby boys, but these NFL guys honestly take it to another level.     I remember Gibbs being pretty ridiculous when it came to little tricks and antics. He could hoof a rugby ball into the air […]

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  My Valentine VALENTINE, OH VALENTINE, SAY YOU’LL BE MINE. YOU’RE SOMMER MY SUNSHINE, MY MOON AND STARS, MY AIROMA AIR-FRESHENER FROM THE OLD OK BAZAARS; MY PERFUMED LOVE-LETTER, MY BREEZE IN THE NIGHT, MY COFFEE, MY CREAMER, MY BLITZ FIRELIGHT. MY CRIME-STOP, MY TRACKER, YOU’RE MY AZT, MY PAP, MY MIELIE-MEAL, MY NANDO’S FOR […]

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If you call me with a private number or a number I don’t know, I will not answer. FACT . If you don’t leave a message and call me again, I still will not answer. FACT . You can do this as many times as you wish over as many days as you want and […]

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Following on seamlessly from our article about the iPod toilet paper dispenser, comes this little beaut, sent in by Dom P. You what?   Notice how uncomfortable the silhouetted man seems in the image. The wire – annoying. And when he needs to finish off, what does he do with the iPod in his hand? […]

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I have a feeling some of you haven’t fully “perused” the links to other websites and friends of 2oceansvibe. If you make your way to the left menu and cruise down towards the arse end of that, you’ll notice a list of “links.” Those are them. check them out. So anyway, I was doing a […]

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Ok, so here we go. It’s the offer of a lifetime. All expenses paid entry to La Med to watch Goldfish play THIS Sunday night! I know, it’s pretty crazy. Go ahead, pinch yourself!   It SAYS 8 February, but it MEANS 15 February! (photo obviously taken by The Photographer)   Now, what you have […]

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I’m making use of a number of my resources this week. With the help of my friendly Butlers, there will be a number of Knead Love Boxes being sent all over town to some special angels! The contents of the Love Box Knead (Wembley Square – Cape Town) are offering the boxes (with the above […]

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  Come on, Man! On a Thursday? At 15h00? 33 degrees? I have ABSOLUTELY no problem with that. *Angel not included. She just arrived with her boyfriend brother. This is what we in the industry refer to as a “bonsella.” ps. It’s 34 degrees tomorrow, my angels – sort your shit out..

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I enjoyed this little moment of humour. Clearly a mom or girlfriend? of a Butlers driver – there was clearly not enough time on hand to remove the sign and this is the result. A very rare sighting of a chick driving a Butlers Pizza delivery vehicle.   One large Regina, coming up!   Here’s […]

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Just enjoy it..   Ai No Corrida Quincy Jones Words & Music: C. Jankel – Young K. Fred Notes : Reprise du titre de “Chaz Jankel” du groupe “Number One” I hold you, I touch you In a maze can’t find my way I think you, I drink you I’m being served you on a […]

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As predicted, this last weekend’s Cape Town Tens was a runaway success, with 10/10 scores from anyone that matters. The tournament has been accepted on the world stage and is pipped to become bigger than the Hong Kong Sevens within the next two years. www.capetowntens.com The facilitation of recreational boozing was apparent, as everyone went […]

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If you find yourself in a pickle and something won’t work, ALL you need to do is follow this little flow diagram.     And to answer your question, NO I didn’t think I would ever utter the word “flow diagram” on this website. But I’ must say, I’m glad I did.

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Our hearts go out to the ex-pats over in the UK at the moment as we take in this pic taken in Leicester Square this week. It’s nice to see that even cats in the UK are aware of the meltdown and are willing to do their bit.   Money attracts pussy.. [thanks john]

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