Are you aware of this? It’s a lot of money. One point seven billion Rand. It rolls so nicely off the tongue. Not AS well as when you tell your boss to get stuffed when you win it. CLICK HERE to buy MEGA MILLIONS tickets safely and securely online. There is nothing more I can […]

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Deal with it.  

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Taken from The Safe House Hazy – nice vibe

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A little hazy today, actually. 25 degrees, but with this haze vibe going for it. Very nice, mind you – takes the edge off, if you know what I mean. We checked it out after a light lunch at Cappers . G-Man and I went for the calamari, whilst The Dude went for the Club […]

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Grant M, sent this pic in. Taken at Caprice on Saturday, citing the incident as “very emboerrissing.”   Very toilet behaviour   It’s not just emboerrissing, Grant, it’s downright rude. It is anti-social, ignorant behaviour by a handful of people who, as children, were never taught any manners. I would have got the wooden spoon […]

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You might know her as Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner’s ex-Number 1 girlfriend.   Holly Madison But to me and her close family and friends, she’ll always be Holly Cullen, the brunette from Oregan who worked at Hooters. That was around the time she (according to this website I found) indulged in a spot of rhinoplasty […]

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Sorry to butt-in on your otherwise very serious vibe, but it is very important that you watch this urgently. I stumbled upon Eddie Murphy’s Coming To America on satellite this week and was reminded of the various genius highlights that I had forgotten. Obviously there are the basics, like “your royal penis is clean your […]

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A few weeks ago we featured the mock Parks-Board Bokkie signs that some very funny individuals had professionally made and placed around Cape Town. Needless to say, they saw the mention on 2oceansvibe and emailed me today to tell me about their latest over-the-top statement. This time it’s an online game which let’s you control […]

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Lip my stocking   Not for, like, EVER. But for now, for a little bit, it’s fine.

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I watch a lot of movies and that is why I’ve made a saying for when things, like this, keep on recurring. I call it “a rerun of an old movie.” Use it, don’t use it. They should get computers with set timers that churn out stories, programmed with past recurring events and themes. I’m […]

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Our Florida (US) affiliate, rivercityvibe.com, has just had a kid. Or, rather, the editor has had a kid (without ovaries, websites will always struggle). In the words of rivercityvibes’s JOE BONES:   Last night, Joe Bones became a father. He has undertaken to devote his entire life toward proving that a rock and roll lifestyle […]

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I honestly don’t have the time to think of a good headline. I just wanted to show you this beautiful little story I got from Popbitch (subscribe to their newsletter – that’s where the action is):   >> Bono of the week: pt 2 << Everyone in Dublin has a story     JL writes: […]

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Let’s be honest, when you see the headline “Anne Expecting Bundle of Joy,” who do you think of? It doesn’t LEAP into your mind, does it? It’s not like Madonna, or Angelina, or Victoria, or Paris, or Lindsay, or Britney, or Kate. Personally, I IMMEDIATELY thought of Anne Hathaway . I was like, “Jesus, baking! […]

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You don’t want to get excited about something as big as this until you have actual proof, in your hands. Or, on your hard drive. It is common knowledge that the TBG (Tall Blonde Guy) has been out of town on a three month hiatus (been DYING to use the word “haitus” for a while […]

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This reminds me of the cars in LA that park on the street. Sent in by Fergus, after a recent trip to Lagos.   Note front right flat tyre..   Bad owner. Naughty owner. Owner probably doesn’t even know! We should steal it.

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I said his name in the headline as though you should know who he is. Don’t fret, neither do I. But I DID think you would enjoy the story you’re about to read and, in particular his photo and forearms. My goodness! This is also, I’m sure, quite a treat for the ex-pats over in […]

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  I see. And a bit of tartan on the top? Fine. Rack looking good. Knees a bit knobbly. Still fine though. You would.

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You would never be expected to get your head around it, so don’t even try – I would never put that much pressure on you. Puff Daddy has just launched his new fragrance called “I AM KING” which falls under his Sean John clothing brand. He felt it necessary to make a 5 minute mini-movie […]

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We recently covered a couple cases of various individuals wearing helmets in public (here and here). The phenomena and social inadequacy seems to have spread further – this time, air travel. Pete L’s mate sent him these pics he took somewhere in the East, boarding a Vietnam Airlines plane.   Come now Absolutely no problem […]

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Camps Bay Stress Central

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Sunday brought the final day of the Movember initiative – which was celebrated with a day of bowls at the Fresnaye Bowling Club.   A stunning day for it, what!   But it wasn’t just a DAY at the bowling club, it was a chance to walk away with The Balls of Glory.   The […]

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I am absolutely FINE with these new pics of post-baby Jessica Alba in the new 2009 Campari Calendar.     I just LOVE Campari’s vibe – the logo, the colours.. And the UMBRELLAS! Like you see in those old Bond films. At those coffee shops, with men and women dressed in linen, wearing boating shoes.. […]

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So yesterday I received an email from one of my special readers, informing me of the shit storm brewing over at gotravel24. Someone had written an article entitled “I Love Camps Bay” (good one) and gave a breakdown of why they enjoyed Camps Bay and the various places to see and things to do. The […]

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I was trying to write you another article but something is stopping me from getting it done, so I thought I’d give you this instead. I just read that Britney was in awe of Simon Cowell when she recently visited the X-Factor show in London. He said: “This may be a bit egotistical, but I […]

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Spotted this in Kloof this morning on a way to a meeting with incredibly powerful people.     I thought I would follow through and check out the Bible reference. This is what Matthew 6:33 beholds: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” […]

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Just a general notice, really. I very much doubt it will be funny or anything. It’s just a bit of help. A number of people have been telling me that they’re getting an incredibly big section of empty white space under the first article on this very website, 2oceansvibe. I was aware of it because […]

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I read and enjoyed the original Is it Just Me or is Everything Shit, which I was given as a gift, and it remains satisfying reading for guests and the various Heads of State who visit The Safe House. There was also a local one that was published in the last couple of years called […]

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I made up a saying a while ago and it goes, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.” Once again, another one of my sayings are proven, as you will see below. Earlier on we brought you breaking news of the bus on fire on Hertzog Blvd. in central Cape Town. Those pics came, as usual, from […]

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Oh my good Lord! We have just received these pictures live from one of our many MANY intrepid readers who send in shit that matters. Taken in Cape Town city off Hertzog Boulevard, this, like, JUST happened. Check it out.   Feeling hot hot hot.. Spontaneous combustion?   There’s not much more that you can […]

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Now, I’m sure we’ve chatted before about this. Or maybe we merely touched on it. And this is the subject of numberplates. The CA plates versus the WP plates, to be more specific. There seems to be a bit of confusion amongst foreigners and locals alike, when it comes to the various plates. People refer […]

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