I watch a lot of movies and that is why I’ve made a saying for when things, like this, keep on recurring. I call it “a rerun of an old movie.” Use it, don’t use it. They should get computers with set timers that churn out stories, programmed with past recurring events and themes. I’m […]

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Our Florida (US) affiliate, rivercityvibe.com, has just had a kid. Or, rather, the editor has had a kid (without ovaries, websites will always struggle). In the words of rivercityvibes’s JOE BONES:   Last night, Joe Bones became a father. He has undertaken to devote his entire life toward proving that a rock and roll lifestyle […]

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I honestly don’t have the time to think of a good headline. I just wanted to show you this beautiful little story I got from Popbitch (subscribe to their newsletter – that’s where the action is):   >> Bono of the week: pt 2 << Everyone in Dublin has a story     JL writes: […]

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Let’s be honest, when you see the headline “Anne Expecting Bundle of Joy,” who do you think of? It doesn’t LEAP into your mind, does it? It’s not like Madonna, or Angelina, or Victoria, or Paris, or Lindsay, or Britney, or Kate. Personally, I IMMEDIATELY thought of Anne Hathaway . I was like, “Jesus, baking! […]

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You don’t want to get excited about something as big as this until you have actual proof, in your hands. Or, on your hard drive. It is common knowledge that the TBG (Tall Blonde Guy) has been out of town on a three month hiatus (been DYING to use the word “haitus” for a while […]

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This reminds me of the cars in LA that park on the street. Sent in by Fergus, after a recent trip to Lagos.   Note front right flat tyre..   Bad owner. Naughty owner. Owner probably doesn’t even know! We should steal it.

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I said his name in the headline as though you should know who he is. Don’t fret, neither do I. But I DID think you would enjoy the story you’re about to read and, in particular his photo and forearms. My goodness! This is also, I’m sure, quite a treat for the ex-pats over in […]

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  I see. And a bit of tartan on the top? Fine. Rack looking good. Knees a bit knobbly. Still fine though. You would.

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You would never be expected to get your head around it, so don’t even try – I would never put that much pressure on you. Puff Daddy has just launched his new fragrance called “I AM KING” which falls under his Sean John clothing brand. He felt it necessary to make a 5 minute mini-movie […]

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We recently covered a couple cases of various individuals wearing helmets in public (here and here). The phenomena and social inadequacy seems to have spread further – this time, air travel. Pete L’s mate sent him these pics he took somewhere in the East, boarding a Vietnam Airlines plane.   Come now Absolutely no problem […]

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Camps Bay Stress Central

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Sunday brought the final day of the Movember initiative – which was celebrated with a day of bowls at the Fresnaye Bowling Club.   A stunning day for it, what!   But it wasn’t just a DAY at the bowling club, it was a chance to walk away with The Balls of Glory.   The […]

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I am absolutely FINE with these new pics of post-baby Jessica Alba in the new 2009 Campari Calendar.     I just LOVE Campari’s vibe – the logo, the colours.. And the UMBRELLAS! Like you see in those old Bond films. At those coffee shops, with men and women dressed in linen, wearing boating shoes.. […]

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So yesterday I received an email from one of my special readers, informing me of the shit storm brewing over at gotravel24. Someone had written an article entitled “I Love Camps Bay” (good one) and gave a breakdown of why they enjoyed Camps Bay and the various places to see and things to do. The […]

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I was trying to write you another article but something is stopping me from getting it done, so I thought I’d give you this instead. I just read that Britney was in awe of Simon Cowell when she recently visited the X-Factor show in London. He said: “This may be a bit egotistical, but I […]

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Spotted this in Kloof this morning on a way to a meeting with incredibly powerful people.     I thought I would follow through and check out the Bible reference. This is what Matthew 6:33 beholds: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” […]

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Just a general notice, really. I very much doubt it will be funny or anything. It’s just a bit of help. A number of people have been telling me that they’re getting an incredibly big section of empty white space under the first article on this very website, 2oceansvibe. I was aware of it because […]

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I read and enjoyed the original Is it Just Me or is Everything Shit, which I was given as a gift, and it remains satisfying reading for guests and the various Heads of State who visit The Safe House. There was also a local one that was published in the last couple of years called […]

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I made up a saying a while ago and it goes, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.” Once again, another one of my sayings are proven, as you will see below. Earlier on we brought you breaking news of the bus on fire on Hertzog Blvd. in central Cape Town. Those pics came, as usual, from […]

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Oh my good Lord! We have just received these pictures live from one of our many MANY intrepid readers who send in shit that matters. Taken in Cape Town city off Hertzog Boulevard, this, like, JUST happened. Check it out.   Feeling hot hot hot.. Spontaneous combustion?   There’s not much more that you can […]

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Now, I’m sure we’ve chatted before about this. Or maybe we merely touched on it. And this is the subject of numberplates. The CA plates versus the WP plates, to be more specific. There seems to be a bit of confusion amongst foreigners and locals alike, when it comes to the various plates. People refer […]

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I received the following email from The Good Doctor, who also happens to be one of the intrepid organisers of South Africa’s Mo-Vember cause: “Men are being called to participate in a playful awareness month to highlight health issues specific to men, and raise money for the CANSA organization, simply by growing their moustaches during […]

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I thought it pertinent to mention this story, given that tonight’s MegaMillions lottery is sitting at $111,000,000 (R1.1 Billion jackpot) Check this out:   Woman Demands Lotto Winnings From Man She Separated From In 1982   Seems like a cool chick   POLK COUNTY, Fla. — A Polk County man won nearly $2 million in […]

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As a Nedbank client I must say I am a little perturbed at the state of the main sign of Nedbank’s Waterfront head office. Forming a part of my views from my suite at The Cape Grace Hotel, it’s beginning to annoy.   Poofey Is that what happens when too many cheques bounce?

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I wake up, thinking of cool, knowing that you want me to remain cool. It concerns be, maintaining coolness – for you, for your image of me. That is why I go to the cupboard and I load my gun. I load my goddamned rifle and I head out the door. I then spend up […]

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I am “between” laptops at the moment and am using an old beast (not too old – running XP) I had locked in a cupboard far far away. Apart from the trip down memory lane, courtesy of the old pictures and videos I found on the hard drive (not very good quality – the size […]

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Whilst Matthew Pearce and Kobus Wiese (with his incredibly strained voice and abysmal English) have succeeded in sidelining Hugh Bladen and have taken South African commentating to another level altogether. Exactly what level that is, is a discussion for another day. But, nonetheless, the subject of sports commentary is fresh in the air. There is […]

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With a fridge filled with Jack Black upon arrival, I realised The Cape Grace were on the right track and should therefore experience even more of the 2oceansvibe. That is why I ordered Butlers Pizza on Friday night for myself – and threw in another human-height pile of pizzas for the Cape Grace staff.   […]

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Pavlov’s dogs learnt faster than this.   Nice helmet Your friend’s balls are also very impressive   Our social etiquette teachings are clearly far from over, as the exact same two cyclists from the last improper cyclist behaviour article are spotted again at Giovanni’s – and again the one fellow doesn’t understand the no-helmet rule. […]

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The other morning’s festivities, which included The Muse getting her car clamped at my current residence, The Cape Grace Hotel in Cape Town; resulted in a great response from the 2oceansvibe community. Including this BEAUTIFUL photograph, taken by the equally beautiful Nicole B.   Absolutely fine   Now that’s the kind of sign The Muse […]

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