I’m just kind of running around this morning so I’ve set this story on a timer. That is why sometimes you will experience the illusion of me writing stories for you at the same time as spotting me tanning my hide on the beach. That’s how I roll, my love. It is imperative that you […]

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Saw this outside Caprice the other day.   See what they did there? Very clever. They maximised the fact that “meet” and “meat” sound the same. And, at the same time, promising customer satisfaction. You can’t do that with any word. They were very lucky to be in the meat industry. You couldn’t say “You […]

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I thought this would be a nice touch. Just a quick tour from the sky of the Green Point stadium. I just did it now for you. This morning. I just popped up and filmed it for you. Because I care. I’m lying, obviously. Someone else did it. Thanks for that, chum..   CLICK HERE […]

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In October we brought you a wonderful picture of a some guy’s car window advertising a wide array of skills on offer. It was fairly phenomenal and I suggest you check it out. Today, however, we have another one, this time sent in by Martin M. Please, if I may…   Specialist..in many fields   […]

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I found this clip on Mark Forrester’s site and, my goodness, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Not only will you love the build up and the grand finale, but the narration is nothing short of stunning! It’s filmed by a local guy (Cape Town or Durbs) in his garden and his slang is just too beautiful! […]

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Shame, it’s starting to get a little sad now. I tell you, Brad must be so stoked he’s moved on from Little Miss Psycho. I mean, it’s three years since he and Angelina started bonking during the making of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and Jennifer Arniston (it’s funnier if you call her Arniston, rather than […]

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I remember a girl friend of 2oceansvibe being ever so slightly scorned at the emotional neglect dealt to her by 2oceansvibe’s “The Kitesurfer.” We had ploughed through a bottle of bubbly at Karma the one night and time came for me to exit. A tad tipsy, she said unto me (with her fingers snapping in […]

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Janie S sent this in, excitedly reporting that The TBG (Tall Blonde Guy) was spotted at the Associated Magazines year end function. She didn’t waste the chance to document her moment with the great man.   Pure awesomeness   Janie, what more can we say – you’ve been blessed. Some people die, having only seen […]

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2oceansvibe Character and professional red-head, “Six Figures,” sent this in – asking if I had seen it and admitting that he is not on the cutting edge. No, Six Figures, I had not seen it. You’ve done well…this time. It comes as a great relief, following your last email with subject “brilliant!” with a link […]

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  Good. Pass.

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The Cartoonist gave a handsome tip to this intrepid Cape Town beggar and asked him for a photograph. We thought you would appreciate his ingenuity, with not the time nor need to have a sign made. Rather, he simply states the facts on his clothes and keeps his hands available.   “VERY HUNGRY” Anthony gets […]

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Normal people and cricket fans alike will be tickled by this little announcement – the fact that the Ozzie’s have put together a $2 million musical production about their most controversial sportsman ever, Shane Warne. Entitled Shane Warne – The Musical. Tickets are on sale now. Check it out.   Shane Warne – The Musical […]

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I couldn’t quite believe mine eyes as I read through this job offer and subsequent email exchange between a genuinely hopeful candidate and the potential employer. It is a rare treat for it to fall into place so effortlessly. We refer to these sets of circumstance as a “gift.” I would like to make it […]

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Kid Rock is possibly one of the last true rock stars left. Not only is he not helping orphans in Africa, but he is also refusing to stop wearing fur. So much so that he has told PETA to bring it on!   Kid RockDoesn’t give a toss   British Sunday Mail reports:   “I […]

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I was sent in this video by a reader who stumbled upon it on Facebook. Proof, once again, that too much tequila can hurt you. Although, luckily in this case, it was a soft landing.   CLICK HERE if that don’t play   Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff? TEQUILA!

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The Cut has confirmed that Karl Lagerfeld will be shooting a Chanel handbag campaign about the relationship between a young man and a woman almost twice his age. Karl has, quite sensibly I might add, cast Jerry Hall as the cougar!   JE-RRY! JE-RRY! JE-RRY!   The Cut reveals:   Karl Lagerfeld will shoot a […]

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P. Anderson   Ja, look, that’s not what we signed up for.

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I attended the much anticipated Cape Town 10’s launch at The Grand, in Camps Bay on Thursday evening last week. It was everything I had dreamed of, and more. Especially when I saw Roxy Louw arrive with Hollywood superstar, Christopher Walken. “I got this watch..” Ok, it wasn’t Christopher Walken, it was actually ex-Springbok, Rob […]

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We were chatting the other day (see article here) about the different car numberplates on the road and the peculiar concept of people pretending to own exclusive CA numberplates, by faking it on a personalised WP registration – thus destroying the whole point of the exercise. Someone wrote to me after that story and explained […]

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I’ve seen a couple local “blogs” chatting about this new Windhoek ad, featuring Oscar winner, Louis Gossett Junior. Now, whilst that news is somewhat exciting, I think we should be telling it the way he (Louis) is telling it to his mates… The fact that he did the ad with 2oceansvibe’s G-Man. That’s correct – […]

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Are you aware of this? It’s a lot of money. One point seven billion Rand. It rolls so nicely off the tongue. Not AS well as when you tell your boss to get stuffed when you win it. CLICK HERE to buy MEGA MILLIONS tickets safely and securely online. There is nothing more I can […]

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Deal with it.  

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Taken from The Safe House Hazy – nice vibe

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A little hazy today, actually. 25 degrees, but with this haze vibe going for it. Very nice, mind you – takes the edge off, if you know what I mean. We checked it out after a light lunch at Cappers . G-Man and I went for the calamari, whilst The Dude went for the Club […]

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Grant M, sent this pic in. Taken at Caprice on Saturday, citing the incident as “very emboerrissing.”   Very toilet behaviour   It’s not just emboerrissing, Grant, it’s downright rude. It is anti-social, ignorant behaviour by a handful of people who, as children, were never taught any manners. I would have got the wooden spoon […]

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You might know her as Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner’s ex-Number 1 girlfriend.   Holly Madison But to me and her close family and friends, she’ll always be Holly Cullen, the brunette from Oregan who worked at Hooters. That was around the time she (according to this website I found) indulged in a spot of rhinoplasty […]

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Sorry to butt-in on your otherwise very serious vibe, but it is very important that you watch this urgently. I stumbled upon Eddie Murphy’s Coming To America on satellite this week and was reminded of the various genius highlights that I had forgotten. Obviously there are the basics, like “your royal penis is clean your […]

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A few weeks ago we featured the mock Parks-Board Bokkie signs that some very funny individuals had professionally made and placed around Cape Town. Needless to say, they saw the mention on 2oceansvibe and emailed me today to tell me about their latest over-the-top statement. This time it’s an online game which let’s you control […]

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Lip my stocking   Not for, like, EVER. But for now, for a little bit, it’s fine.

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I watch a lot of movies and that is why I’ve made a saying for when things, like this, keep on recurring. I call it “a rerun of an old movie.” Use it, don’t use it. They should get computers with set timers that churn out stories, programmed with past recurring events and themes. I’m […]

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