I trust everyone is tuned into the latest SAA crew scandal? they were caught smuggling weed and now, cocaine. It is not known if the coke has anything to do with Joost van der Westhuizen. iol reports: South African airport security equipment needs to be urgently updated to avoid further “national embarrassments”. Prince Mashele, […]
Surely this is the best one? Whahahaha! See what I did there? BEST 1 WP – so I said, “Surely this must be the best one .” And then you thought I meant it would just be like a clever numberplate. But then you checked it and the ACTUAL words were “BEST 1!” […]
I had great fun this morning with my esteemed breakfast-show host Ryan O’Connor and the very cool team at Cape Town’s biggest radio station, 94.5 KFM. Without the breakfast team knowing, I smuggled my iPod into the studio, with a teensie weensie speaker, ready to play the original 2oceansvibe Show intro track. Amusement ensued.. […]
Hey Team, Just a quick one to say the 2oceansvibe email server has a runny tummy and cannot SEND emails at the momnet. We are RECEIVING your emails, but just can’t reply at the moment. I have logged the fault and hopefully it will be fixed soon. Remember, whilst this may hurt you, the pain […]
Dave V sent this in, asking what I was up to in the ‘burbs. Come on. You know that’s not me. Although I do have some Irish blood, I’m not from Ireland.
Stop it! That, is perfect. JUST perfect. Apparently Ron Jeremy is playing Joost (with Matt Damon as Francois Pienaar) in that new movie about Nelson Mandela and the 1995 World Cup. Should be good.. [thanks peter]
You see, this is the point I was trying to put across the other day. You find yourself turning and staring and you’re like, “Jesus, look at that piece of…” and then, as your eyes focus your brain signals you to shut up and stop what you’re saying and doing and thinking. PULL OUT!! PULL […]
Oh my goodness this is a little beauty I’ve got in my hands. Sent to me by Griffin at WatKykJy, it is a TRADITIONAL HEALER’S sick note a friend’s domestic employee brought to work after going missing for a few days. He was mad, but now is healed.. That, my friends, is a […]
It’s all happening, people! The FIFA 2010 World Cup tickets are going on sale this week. I think I need to get a few, just in case the Mozambiquen connection doesn’t pull through (boys, I trust all is in order?). Tickets are currently priced between R140 and R6,300. And I say “currently” because […]
Whilst the original nasty judge, Simon Cowell exudes an air of intelligence, the character is once again lost on Randall Abrahams as his increasingly unconvincing facade gains momentum. ..and the hits just keep on comin’ I had another perverted tingle down my back and I turned on the Idols highlights channel for a […]
It reminds me of when my mother arrived home and I was wearing her high heels. She did a bad job of hiding the panic and told me to remove them at once. Although I was only seven, a boy, and the shoes were not my size; I think my mother secretly agreed that I […]
94.5KFM is where you wanna be tomorrow morning where we gonna get LOOOOSE with Ryan O’ Connor! OBVIOUSLY you are a part of my body and therefore I will go there with you in mind and should hopefully please you. 07h00 tomorrow morning – probably starting at 07h10 but tune in at 07h00 just […]
Another classic from the national broadcaster SABC who, through forced employment, produce continually below-par basics: This, from Clayton S: Yes, folks, the Incredible Comrade Fidel Castro went to University six years before his birth and spent four years underground before busting out. At the tender age of 3, he led a revolution […]
The first time I heard this song, Sideways (or anything by Citizen Cope, for that matter), was about a year ago. It was a rehashed version with Carlos Santana, which Citizen Cope’s staunch faithful believe over-punctuated the song, taking away too much from Cope’s (Clarence Greenwood) intention. Personally I loved it. Enjoying Rolling Stone reports […]
Aaah, this one is just too precious! I got this OUT STANDING email from one of my very special loyal readers. Hi Seth, Sorry this is quite long but well worth the read. Basically 2 colleagues of mine found this website www.thefirstworldwidewebsitewerenothinghappens.com and one of them picked up that there was a typo in […]
I strongly suggest all girls make their way to the Cosmo Sex Survey. And I strongly suggest that the guys don’t! I made that mistake, you see.. Get there fast, ladies! I smelt a rat when I came to the question that asked: “How long would you date someone before having sex with […]
Those of you who know what Twitter is, you’ll be pleased to know that 2oceansvibe is now on Twitter – dishing you the same incredible humour and wit, leaving you weak at the knees, only this time it will be done with a twit twat twot twitting twatter. Click here for our Twitter vibe. Oh, […]
Amazing how Idols is doing “so well,” yet they have urgently changed the rules, following disappointing ratings. SUDDENLY the process has changed from entering into the 12 girls / 12 guys vibe, and has gone straight to a final 14. Desperate measures to save the show in this, the Dying Swan scene. From TVSA: […]
The sun shone through very nicely earlier, which resulted in a well deserved little dip at Beta Beach. And now the clouds have come over. Not that it’s a problem from The Safe House, as this is the result.. FINE!
Great to piss your buddies off at work. It comes with a big red button – which is the sole purpose of the website. You press this button for a beautiful rimshot, like the old-school comedians used to have after each joke. Please refrain from any “rim job” jokes. We’re quite particular about using jokes […]
I’m a big fan of the colour pink and don’t mind splashing my vibe with a little bit here and there. Like the odd pink shirt, or pink socks. I must say, I don’t have any pink jocks. Do Calvin Klein make pink boxers/briefs for guys? Mum, could we investigate that please? Ta. Now, much […]
EAT YOUR FOOD, TINA! Lindsay Lohan at the opening of Matthew Williamson’s New York store yesterday during the Mercedes-Benz Fall 2009 Fashion Week That photo has not been photoshopped, by the way. I’d like to take this opportunity to confirm to all women out there, that we (men) do NOT like that look […]
WHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! [thanks charl]
Whereas I would almost certainly claim to have a bigger dick than that of an offending sex tape, Joost has gone the other route – he claims that it can’t be him, because the guy in the video’s main-chap is way too big to be his. Joost and his wife, Amor (Before sex tape) This, […]
Just chilling here with my main man, The Photographer. So he says to me, “Jeez, it’s tit today! the sky is very pastel.” I was like, “fucken big time! I need to show my gorgeous readers!” And here it is!!
I don’t like to give all my secret tricks away. But when you have over 18,000 tricks up your sleeve, it REALLY doesn’t dent your inventory if you give the odd one away. Especially when it is helping you, my gorgeous 2oceansvibe readers – the most treasured of my possessions. Now, a lot of you […]
So this little shit in the UK has become a dad at the age of 13. Which is fairly incredible, given that 13 would put us in standard 5 (“grade” 7). Personally, I was in standard 6 (I was incredibly bright as a child) at that age and talk of sex was definitely apparent in […]
I’m just gathering myself. Joost van der Westhuizen has apparently been caught in a sex tape, filmed by a whore, whilst on coke. It doesn’t get better than this, ladies and gentlemen. This is the the biggest SA scandal since Hansie lied to us. Quietly enjoy this, from HEAT: You’ve seen the headlines and read […]