"Controversial" "writer" caught in video with four black whores
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I made that headline up. It's for effect. Seriously, chill out. Whether it's true or not, is another story. The point I want to stress here is: A), who gives a fuck? And B) who the fuck is David Bullard?

Those of you who missed the story about the little boy who led a coup d’état in his dormitory, it was one of the biggest stories in the playground. It was, like, so cool!

So this columnist, David Bullard (who was apparently writing for the Sunday Times), has been fired as a direct result of the content of his most recent Sunday Times column. The paper cited racism and now people are writing about how controversial it all is, and how "David Bullard had two job offers before 09h30 this morning."

Oh my God, I'm cringing.

There simply cannot be anything worse than witnessing someone who believes that their recount of popular (albeit exhausted) rhetoric is actually original. And, even worse, someone who thinks that their repitition is controversial! And then one is further subjected to the sight of others not realising this and hailing it as "oooh, so very clever," thus also exposing their immense ignorance and naivety (NOT WITH REGARDS TO THE CONTENT OF HIS ARTICLE - BUT THE MERE FACT THAT HE THINKS THE THOUGHT-PROCESS IS ORIGINAL)!

Are you with me? It's like when someone sends a group email with the subject, "This is BRILLIANT!!!" and in the email is a link to the video of the monkey that smells his finger and falls out the tree. Some people reply all with "oh my God! That was hysterical!" But the vast majority, who are more well-informed, stay silent; not having the heart to tell the newbies that it's one of the oldest viral videos on the internet.

The viewpoint (Bullard's 'angle') has long been discussed at braais - really, it's nothing new. Sometimes people get confused as to the level of the company they are keeping and the conversation can get heated, but hopefully it is handled in jest which is how We broach it, if We must. I often use the "look what we've done for you" joke with my close friends of darker hue, and the sketch usually goes on with a retort along the lines of "sure, using my people as slaves!" and so it goes on, usually with us collapsing in a heap of laughter. Then we open another beer and pretend to argue about whether or not the moon landing was real. It's a great game to play - if you have the strength to act it out again.

Variations of the topic/argument/discussion/viewpoint have long been written about and emailed all over. I noticed one was published on this website and, more to the point, the writer had the energy to respond to it - paragraph for paragraph.

You get the point. It's not original and it's not controversial. Therefore if you celebrate it, you look stupid. Seriously, you do. It's nothing. It's a vacuum.

It's like spending two hours talking about how stuck-up Cape Town chicks are. We've chatted about that a thousand times. What difference is it going to make? We don't have time for that. Let's focus on trying to pick up those two chicks over there.

Bullard has previously suggested that blog writers are pseudo journalists. Fair enough - but if I had a choice between that and being a journalist parading as an intellectual....

Shame.

It might as well be a sex tape scandal.

He's a pretender.

A child.


Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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