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World
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CANNED UNICORN MEAT CLASHES WITH PORK AUTHORITIES – SUBLIME
23 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
ThinkGeek.com, one of the greatest online stores ever to have existed in the civilisation of humankind, is selling Canned Unicorn meat (“a great source of sparkles!”). Let’s just enjoy that for a moment. Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go. What you don’t know is […]
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MICKEY MOUSE WAS A COCAINE DON
23 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
Wow. You know when an entire society grows up with a certain ultra-influential cartoon character, and that cartoon character subtly peddles cocaine to other cartoon characters, and then suddenly in the 1970s, when all the guys and girls who grew up with that character become the first generation to vigorously export cocaine around the world? […]
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AN ILLUSTRATED GUIDE TO INTERNET BROWSERS
22 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
FireFox, Safari, Internet Explorer, Chrome, Opera…Bloggers can get pretty tetchy when it comes to their choice of internet browser. Which is why Caldwell Tanner, a cartoonist over at CollegeHumor.com threw together this helpful pictorial guide. I think it captures the nuanced differences between world’s most prominent browsers. And nuances are what good cartooning is all […]
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GEORGE LUCAS, EAT YOUR HEART OUT
18 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
A few decades after its conception, the Star Wars lightsaber is here, and like everything worth buying, it’s on sale on the internet. But this is apparently not a very good thing, seeing as the lightsaber is both cheap and 1000 times more potent than those commercial laser pointers that drive your pets insane, and […]
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SOMALI FOOTBALL ENTHUSIASTS HAVE IT TOUGH
17 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Most of us, myself included, are basking in self-pity following last nights ill-fated football escapades involving one Diego “Satan” Forlan and Bafana Bafana. But let’s cheer up, folks. No one’s slaughtering us on our living room couches for actually watching the game. Not like in Somalia, anyhow. Two Somali football fans were leaded where they […]
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RENT A WHITE GUY
17 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
This is some pretty cool reading for those of you still trying to shake the post-public holiday major Bafana let down cobwebs. If you’re a white guy in Beijing incapable of speaking a shred of Mandarin, you might feel that your employment opportunities are limited. Or you could get off your ass and get paid […]
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VUVUZELAS – THE CRUX OF THE MATTER
16 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 5 Comments
Afternoon everyone, and a happy Youth Day to you crazy, crazy youth. Let’s have a quick chat about vuvuzelas. They’re loud, really loud. In fact at 131 decibels, they’re louder than: A screaming baby A chain saw A starting gun A jackhammer Most taxis in Woodstock Gareth Cliff The Mouille Point Foghorn The Noon Gun […]
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THE iPAD HOUSE IS THE FUTURE
14 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Ever since Robert Downey Jnr gave us a better way to live in Iron Man, people have been popping chubbies (present company included) at the thought of having interactive computing interfaces like the iPad on almost every glossy surface of their abode. Well, the idea is slowly bleeding from pop culture into the fabric of […]
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TEN RANDOM FACTS ABOUT MEXICO
10 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Tomorrow, we face el Mexicanos in an epic footballing battle. Let’s get to know our enemy, shall we?
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HOW TO GET MURDERED SHA’P SHA’P THIS WORLD CUP
09 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The Soccer World Cup will attract some 350 000 foreign visitors our shores. Most of them are already arriving, and you can bet they’ll be bringing their national idiosyncrasies with them. Today, we offer a sincere prayer that no fun-loving Dutch fans bring this quirky bit of fan paraphernalia with them, or they WILL be […]
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IT SUCKS TO BE McHOMELESS
07 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
According to a report by Shanghai’s Southern Weekly, the southern Chinese city has a bit of a McProblem. And that would be the McRefugees. It’s a pretty heavy vibe.
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GOURMET FRIDAYS – THE ICE CREAM YOU REALLY WANT
04 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Here at 2oceansvibe, we’re fond of hot sauce and beer. Specifically Tabasco hot sauce, and Jack Black beer. So what might be the perfect food companion to these already stunning nutritive sources? Pizza (I’m looking at you, Butlers)? Sushi? Sticky spare ribs? For any sane person with reasonable powers of taste, these might be the […]
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THE DEFINITIVE SITE FOR HUMAN ACHIEVEMENT
03 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Ever wondered what the record is for the biggest human pyramid inside a moving train? Or who holds the record for the most double-handed high-fives over a regulation men’s volleyball net by female twins in 30 seconds? I know I have. But I’ve always found myself frustrated with the limited options available to me for […]
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SKIP ST. TROPEZ – GO TO CASSIS
03 Jun 2010 by Seth Rotherham / No Comments
One of the last few days of our month in the South of France, brought us to the most gorgeous little seaside town on the Med – Cassis. Pic taken from PopYaCollar – (featured in Marie Claire) Wikipedia tells us: Cassis (French pronunciation: [kasi, kasis]; Occitan: Cassís) is a commune situated east of Marseille in […]
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DOES THIS WORLD CUP MAKE ME LOOK FAT?
01 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
Bafana Bafana continue to improve our vibe ahead of the world cup – this time by owning Guatemala in a record 5-0 win. Sure, there may have been three penalties in the mix (two of which were moderately questionable), but the other two goals were genuinely gnarly. Anyhow, while most of the country and all […]
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THE PUMA PHONE MAKES YOU A BETTER PERSON
28 May 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
And better looking, too. Didn’t you know? This sassy little individual has been released in Europe, and is on course for distribution in the US. Although, with A FRIGGING SOLAR PANEL CELL ON THE BACK (oh yeah!) you’d expect them to pump these babies to sunny South Africa in a heartbeat.
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BOB MUGABE’S MIDDLE NAME IS NOAH
28 May 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
This just in: Robert Mugabe is sending an ark filled to the rafters with animals to our Dear Leader. Zimbabwe has begun rounding up wildlife destined for North Korea and would have completed the sale to Kim Jong Il’s isolated dictatorship by the end of this month, a senior parks official said on Wednesday. North […]
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2OCEANSVIBE VILLAS GETS SOME NEW KILLER PROPERTIES – LIVING THE HOLIDAY BECAME EVEN EASIER! –
26 May 2010 by Seth Rotherham / No Comments
While we wait for our winning lottery numbers to come in, it’s nice to know that you can still live the holiday on your own terms. Choose the place, choose the time, and live the holiday whenever it suits you! I received an update of the new 2oceansvibe Villas properties and I must say, they […]
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MOBILE NUMBER CURSED – OR NOT
26 May 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
A mobile phone company in Bulgaria has suspended a particular mobile phone number, 0888 888 888, after “every single person assigned to it died in the last 10 years.”
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BECAUSE EVERY COUNTRY IS GOOD AT SOMETHING
25 May 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
This, my friends, is awesome. What in the world is that? At first glance, this looks like the fruits of a game of “pin the tail on the donkey” at an acid party in Amsterdam. Right? But the more perceptive of you might recognise the faintest silhouette of a world map. That’s because each of […]
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NIGERIAN POLITICIANS – NOT KOSHER
21 May 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Nigerian politicians are pretty colourful characters, if news reports are anything to go by. If they haven’t got two kilograms of coke (NOT the kind that fizzes with Mentos) in their political tummies, then they’re off marrying Egyptian 13 year-olds.
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“INTRIGUING” IS ANOTHER WORD FOR “WEIRD”
21 May 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Sorry about that, it’s kind of bright, I know. As you can see, London have gone for a bit of an intriguing vibe for their 2012 Olympic logo. And by intriguing, I might actually mean, “epilepsy-inducing”. So, in a intriguing strange kind of way, it’s kudos to London’s Olympic organising committee (queerly named Locog) for […]
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COOKING YOURSELF – A NATIONAL SPORT IN FINLAND
20 May 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
ESPN is a great repository for sporting news. Especially news from the Baltic states. Take Finland, for example. Finland is the home of Sauna (that’s right, with a capital “S”). This relaxing past tie has been exported in various forms and varieties the world over, such is humankind’s love for a good, cleansing sweat. But […]
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SAVE YOUR CHILD FROM A LIFE OF LAME
20 May 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Everyone knows how cut-throat childhood can be, right? The playground politics, the snide remarks, the vengeful love triangles, the grief-induced crayon-eating binges. Right? Well, maybe not me. Know why? Because when I was a kid, my parents made damn sure that their offspring would never, ever, have the label “loser” pasted on them. How did […]
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TALIBANNOSAURUS REX
19 May 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Looks like a regular sci-fi action/adventure with tough guys, hot chicks, glocks and carnivorous and impossibly clever dinosaurs, right? WRONG!
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“DEAR ENGLAND, YOU’RE BROKE”
19 May 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
OK, so I don’t claim to know a heck of a lot about macro economic policy, national Anglo trans-administration fiscal health, or even the projected recovery gradient of the British economy over the next five years. But two things, I know for sure. 1) The English ruling classes are humour gods, and…
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DEMOCRATIC PEOPLES’ REPUBLIC OF KOREA MAKE NUCLEAR FUSION
18 May 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
PRESS RELEASE Pyongyang (and maybe Cape Town, too), KCNA.
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DO THE MACARONA – PROVENCE STYLE
18 May 2010 by Seth Rotherham / No Comments
A few weeks ago I mentioned my excitement at the way macarons had become not only Cape Town’s favourite treat, but also our favourite gift! In an article entitled, The Cookie Connoisseur Cookie, I was admittedly ignorant as to the name of the little bundles of magic. Needless to say the 2oceansvibe community rallied round […]
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US NEWS STILL FAILING AT GEOGRAPHY
18 May 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
With the Soccer World Cup just 24 days, four hours and 20 minutes away, it’s so comforting to know that our beloved RSA is getting the accurate international press coverage that we deserve. I mean, take this, for example, courtesy of Chicago’s WGN news.
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IT IS NOW SAFE TO REMOVE GENE’S FLASH STICK
17 May 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Besides being at the age where his main desire should be trying to play online bingo for free, KISS bassist and all round grand daddy of rock, Gene Simmons, was recently accused of dry-humping an ESPN make-up artist, as some of you may have heard. After said make-up artist demanded $185 000 from Gene for […]
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