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World
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New Zealand Herald Tees Up The All Blacks For Epic Fail
01 Oct 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 8 Comments
Jinxed, much? Please, enjoy this photograph of the front page of the New Zealand Herald, dated Wednesday 29 September 2010. That’s unusually arrogant for an agriculturally-based society, isn’t it?
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“Super WiFi Unleashed In USA”
30 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
ITWeb has reported that the FCC of America will be freeing up the vacant airways, or “white spaces” between between television channels, making them available for long distance, low frequency, ultra fast “Super WiFi”. So does this mean EVERYTHING web related gets an upgrade? If so, what could we expect? A few predictions:
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WORK IS LIFE, LIVE THE HELLDAY
29 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
That’s if you’re living in the UK. Indeed, recently-conducted research (which is is of course always reliable; remember the Da Vinci Code?) has indicated that Britons between the age of the thirty and forty are the most unhappy group of people in the whole world. What’s there to be unhappy about?
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LONG WALK TO ARMS DEALS
28 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The film rights to Nelson Mandela’s bestselling biography, Long Walk to Freedom, have been sold to South African film producer, Anant Singh. This is the same man who produced such gems as: Mr Bones Mr Bones 2: Back from the Past Mama Jack Wulin Warriors: Legend of the Seven Stars So prospects are looking good […]
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GEOGRAPHY – IT’S ALL A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE
27 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Ever wondered what a world map would look like if it was customised to fit the stereotypes of any one country? If nothing else, this series of maps created by Bulgarian graphic designer, Yanko Tsvetov, teaches us that foreign policy in Europe will always be more about friends and relatives than actual reason. Much geographical […]
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YOUR PARTY WILL BE VERY, VERY, VERY SMALL THIS WEEKEND
23 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 7 Comments
The Pale Blue Dot Carl Sagan is a deceased astronaut astronomer. And that miniscule blue dot inside the blue circle is Earth. He is one of the few people to have ever existed who could claim to have pondered global events with a truly broad perspective. When you’ve considered the earth from 6,1 billion miles […]
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OUR COUNTRY IS TAINTED
23 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Justin Bieber arrived in Johannesburg this morning. Heat magazine caught the horror unfolding on film. Mass hysteria has been reported in the greater Gauteng area, as the great walking insect zapper carves a swathe of destruction along the Ben Schoeman highway. Droves of moth-like recently pubescent girls are reportedly flinging themselves at his moving vehicle. […]
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THE HARTLEY 2 COMET – EMBELLISHING THE OCTOBER SKY
22 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The Hartley 2 Comet’s Whistle Stop Tour Itinerary The periodically visible Hartley 2 Comet will make its best appearance since its discovery over Cape Town skies from late September through to early November. Please, enjoy this simple explanation from the Astronomical Society of Southern Africa.
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KIM JONG’S IL-NESS
21 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Savour him while you still can… We may well be into the final week of Kim Jong Il’s reign, ladies and gents. The Dear Leader, bless him, is not well. Kim Jong Il is ill. So ill, in fact, that many so called “doctors” of the Great Western Devil are speculating that he may have […]
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ALYSSA MILANO AUCTIONING HER TWITTER FOLLOW ON EBAY
17 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Television personality and social media philanthropist, Alyssa Milano, is breaking new ground with social media and money. Stay with me now. She’s auctioning a follow from her on Twitter. That’s right. The highest bidder on her Twitchange Ebay page will win a following from Milano’s twitter handle, @Alyssa_Milano.
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WHEN BIKER MAGAZINES WERE TOUGH
16 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
When it broke onto news agents’ racks in the 1970s, everyone knew that “Easyriders” was reading material for tough guys. Furthermore, you knew that those guys probably had beards, leather jackets, and a primal love for their mothers. But the headlines on the covers themselves left absolutely no doubt. These are some of my favourites […]
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SLAVERY: THE GP’S CHOICE
15 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The face of a slave owner… If you were a domestic excellence technician, what kind of professional would you prefer to work for? I know which bracket of society I’d be angling for – medical doctors. They earn a good bit of tin, you’ll never suffer a lack of attention when you’re in the throws […]
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BAHRAIN WILL NEVER HOST THE BLOG AWARDS
14 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The jailed blogger, or “The SilverStreak in his natural habitat” Unless the only entrant in the blog awards is the government. And the government was the judging panel. Even then, they’d probably be a little reticent to set that kind of thing up. Apparently Bahrain isn’t so keen on bloggers, or that “Freedom of Expression” […]
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THE ONLY COCKROACHES YOU SEE ARE THE ONES WITH ATTITUDE
14 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
A study published in scientific journal Proceedings of the Royal Society B suggests comes right out and claims that each and every bug on this planet (insects, arachnids and otherwise) enjoys its own individual personality. This from Discovery News:
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FRESHLY GROUND BANNED FROM ZIMBABWE
13 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Popular South African band, Freshly Ground, have suffered a potentially massive blow to their revenue stream after the Zimbabwean authorities banned the group from traveling or performing in Zimbabwe.
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KEVIN PIETERSEN STAYING AT HIS PARENTS’ PLACE THIS WEEKEND
10 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 10 Comments
You can take the boy out of Maritzburg… Since suffering a monumental loss of form for his adopted, beloved, esteemed, most highly regarded homeland, England, Kevin “KP” Pietersen has made a rather quiet return to KwaZulu-Natal – the land from whence he first spawned. That’s understandable, I hear you say. Sometimes all you need to […]
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BP HAS TAKEN A LONG HARD LOOK IN THE MIRROR
10 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
…And has decided that it can’t shoulder all of the responsibility for the Deepwater Horizon oil spill, an ecological disaster of biblical proportions. In fact, BP have scrutinised the situation so finely that they’ve come to the conclusion that they can’t bear much of the blame for the mass rape of North America’s Gulf at […]
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WE ALMOST DIED – ASTEROIDS WAVE HELLO
09 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
It mightn’t look it, but what you see above is a graphic representation of narrowly-dodged doom.
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HARRY POTTER IS OUT MAGAZINE COVER BOY
08 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
“Daniel Radcliffe needs a date.” He looks ab-fab, hey? In case we had any doubts, Daniel Radcliffe (best known for his role as Harry Potter) is very comfortable with his sexuality. And everyone else’s, apparently. He’s rocking the pale skin, bright red lips and chest hair triad of erotic signifiers pretty hard here. And how […]
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ANOTHER WORD FOR TWITTER IS “KARMA”
07 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The legendary fail-whale When you happen to be an Australian Olympic gold medalist swimmer sponsored by an elite care brand, it’s probably not a good idea to talk trash on Twitter. If you’re a naturalised English sportsman that’s suffered a run of poor form in recent times and have since been cut from the national […]
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HEDGE FUND EXECUTIVE MOONLIGHTS AS A WEED BARON
07 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 6 Comments
Cue pithy comments related to hedge funds! Hedge funds, get it? Hedge funds? Forget it. Forbes recently reported that an executive of New Stream Capital, Tara Bryson, was arrested and charged with running a marijuana factory from her 6 000 square foot home, because, apparently, it’s a tough financial gig being a loan shark.
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UNIQUELY AUSTRALIAN BRITISH BOEREWORS
06 Sep 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 7 Comments
Wow, and there I was thinking we were confused! With our London taxis on the roads and people singing Ole Ole at the sports stadiums, we certainly are a melting pot of cultures and have become professionals at ‘borrowing’ foreign nation’s ideas, pastimes and even sayings. Not that there is anything wrong with that – […]
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WIKILEAKS GOES UNDERGROUND
03 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
In case you haven’t heard, everyone hates Julian Assange. And more to the point, everyone hates WikiLeaks in general. And by “everyone”, I of course mean people with secrets to keep. Namely governments and multinational corporations. Now that’s absolutely no reflection on the merit of WikiLeak’s work, and the job that they fulfill of making […]
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IN CASE WE HAD FORGOTTEN: ANDY RODDICK REMINDS US THAT HE’S A BRAT
03 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Haters gonna hate… On Tuesday Andy Roddick, the current darling of United States tennis, reminded everyone who might have begun to believe otherwise that he does indeed have the temperament of an infant. After protesting a foot fault call by a line judge, which was proved to be correct by video replay, Roddick postured for […]
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DISCOVERY CHANNEL MAKES THE MOST OF A BAD SITUATION
02 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
US news wires were buzzing this morning with news that a hostage situation was unfolding at the Discovery Channel headquarters in Montgomery County, USA. This, from the Associated Press: James Lee, 43, a gunman with what police described as “concerns” with the Discovery Channel networks took at least one person hostage in the company’s Silver […]
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FASHION ALERT: CHINA SUFFERS BOEP-FLASHING PLAGUE
01 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
China is suffering under the weight of a societal malaise. And this time it’s not due to the influence of the Great Western Devil. In the sweltering heat of summer, when the refreshing breezes desert the city, Hu Lianqun absent-mindedly reaches for a solution: He rolls up his shirt to expose his belly, often fanning […]
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TEN TIPS FOR THE CHILEAN MINERS
01 Sep 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
It’s Spring Day. Wonderful, isn’t it? Sure, depending on where you are in the Southern Hemisphere, the weather might not be very Spring-like. But such is life, and the meteorological musings of our planet. The good news is that the days are getting longer, the sun is shining more regularly, animals are copulating left, right […]
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RICKY GERVAIS RULES THE WORLD
31 Aug 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 9 Comments
Those of you connected to a neat little trick called the internet (I hear it’s getting quite big) may know that the 62nd annual Emmy Awards went off without nary a hitch last night. At least, that would be the opinion of everyone besides the event’s host, Jimmy Falon. Much to Jimmy’s chagrin, Ricky Gervais […]
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HIPSTER DINOSAURS: PICTURES OF HOW WE ALL FEEL
31 Aug 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
Some of you studied at UCT. Some of you may have even been forced to make forays to UCT’s Hiddingh Campus, AKA Hipster-Central. I remember those brief, but terrifying outings. The Hipsters. They’re so, so much cleverer than us. They talk about Nietzsche and Kant, and judge me when I reply by telling them not […]
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THE INSPIRATIONAL FOOTBALL SPEECH, OZZY STYLE
30 Aug 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
There’s a cess-pit of bad football films out there. Of course, the discerning viewer will recognise that Any Given Sunday rises above the sentiment and excrement that makes up 90% of the movies in this drama. It’s a great film. There’s plenty of old-school Pacino filth and grit in there. And there’s that one, iridescent […]
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