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World
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His Excellency, Robert Mugabe Is Not Sick
19 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Over the last few days many a report has been circulating claiming that the great proponent of Zimbabwean democracy and all round nice guy Robert Mugabe may be on the dying-side of things. Mugabe’s illness was reported by Britain’s Daily Telegraph; apparently he is in Malaysia, recovering from having the old prostate removed.
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Badvertising: Insanely Inappropriate MLK Day Sale.
18 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
So tomorrow’s Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday! Which is kind of a holiday now. And stores like to celebrate that kind of thing with sales and stuff, because that’s what the King was all about, right? Right. Which is why it is totally sensible for Thalia Surf Shop in Laguna to take 20% off all of it’s black products.
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This Guy Is Trying To Prolong His Perception Of Time By Doing New Or Awkward Things
18 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The goal here is pretty cool! Sort of. Extend your perception of time by doing new or uncomfortable things – and have more, better memories of a given day than you would if you were doing dull stuff. We like it – we’re all about extending the vibe. Even if uncomfortable things are required of you from time to time.
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Good Idea: Teach Kids To Steal Cars
18 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
As part of Machine Project’s “Good People Doing Bad Things”, apparently teaching kids to break into and hot-wire cars is good for their development. The aim of the project is not so much to turn kids into deviants, but to get them understanding how cars work…
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DIY Gastric Bypass Fun
17 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
If you’re as grossly obese as this man taking a brisk walk every couple of days just won’t do when attempting to lose weight. There are a number of reasons for this, foremost amongst which are that you weigh so much that you cannot walk and if you do manage to get up your legs will sheer at the ankles.
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Our Dear Leader’s Sister Invented The Hamburger
17 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
So! Pretend we’re having that bit of dialogue from Pulp Fiction where we talk about Burger King burgers being called ‘royale’ in France, except we’re talking about North Korea, and they call them “minced meat and bread,” to avoid referring to the uniquely American hamburger. Also, this is a new thing.
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Is YOUR Fridge An iPhone-Controlled Beer Cannon? This Guy’s Is.
17 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Well, I guess Ryan Rusnak wins at weekends. Nice try, everybody. This dude set up his fridge to fire a variety of beers at him from across the room whenever he keys in the command on his iPhone. I mean sure, he’s choosing to have Bud Light thrown at him, but cultural differences. Focus on the potential here.
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Silvio Likes His Girls Not-Barely-Legal
17 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Man about town and real man’s man, Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi is in trouble again. But luckily this time it’s only because he (allegedly) slept with a 17-year-old.
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Wonderful Safety Certificate
14 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
For any of us who’ve been out to a supper club or dinner venue with a beautiful lady this safety certificate from the 1940’s will prove invaluable.
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John Lennon’s First Car Is For Sale
14 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
Finally. Something to spend this R1.5 million I have lying around on. Lennon’s 1965 Ferrari 330 GT 2+2 Coupe (I don’t know what most of that means!) is being auctioned off in February; they expect it go for slightly more than his dark green Chrysler station wagon, which was recently auctioned off for $5,500 (ZAR 37.5k).
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As If Getting Fat Wasn’t Enough To Make You Feel Guilty
14 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Now your chocolate hoovering habit is propping up the revenues of would-be dictators, more specifically, the regime of the Ivory Coast’s political limpet, Laurent Gbagbo. Feel bad. Feel very bad. And fat. Evil and fat.
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Kim Jong Il Is The Greatest Golfer Of All Time
14 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Our Dear Leader, The Great and Beneficent Kim Jong Il has, after all these years of preserving its purity, seen it fit to allow his adoring public access to the great and magnificent Pyongyang Golf Complex. Players from all across the world (except South Korea, naturally) are invited to take part in the first North Korean Amateur Golf Open.
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Fight Club, The Musical – Preview [VIDEO]
13 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Alright so we’ve got our hands on a preview for the Fight Club Musical. You know they’re making a Fight Club musical, right? Jared Leto’s comment on the whole affair is, “It smells like disaster, but it could be genius.” We’re undecided at this point.
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Australian Flooding In A Global Context
13 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
While the floods in Australia are devastating, there are a number of natural disasters unfolding on a significantly larger human and geographic scale – and we don’t seem to give a damn.
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The Asian Kid From Glee Did A Short Film With Lightsabers In It
13 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
It’s pretty good! I mean, as lightsaber-based films go. Also, it’s called ‘3 Minutes’ which is helpful if you want the title to tell you how long a film is. They could’ve called The English Patient ‘Too Goddamned Long,’ for instance. Incidentally, is this what Glee is? Running around with lightsabers? Because then I would understand its appeal.
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This Guy Will Murder Daniel Radcliffe One Day
13 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
That’s a pretty big call. I know. Alright then, I’ll hedge my bets. He’ll definitely murder either Daniel Radcliffe or JK Rowling. After long, protracted periods of stalking, high court judgments, and coincidental midnight run-ins on apartment stair wells, this here guy will eventually figure out that he has been jilted. And he will be pissed off.
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Italian Man Takes A Head-Shot, Sneezes Out The Bullet, Lives
12 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
In an incident that the Catholic Church will almost certainly deem a great work of faith, Italian New Years celebrator Darco Sangermano sneezed a miracle.
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They’re Making A Fight Club Musical
12 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
I don’t know how to feel about this. I loved Fight Club the way you love an eccentric uncle; it was weird and it stank of smoke and made people feel uncomfortable, but it was awesome. The fact that it’s director, David Fincher wants to revisit it is great; the whole ‘musical’ angle is where I start panicking.
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UK Student Hurls Fire Extinguisher At Police From Rooftop – Charged With Attempted Murder [VIDEO]
12 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
UK student, Edward Woollard, has been sentenced to two years and eight months behind bars for violent disorder. What kind of violent disorder, you might ask? The kind of violent disorder that sees you lob a large fire extinguisher at the potentially mushy heads of policemen eight stories below you. And he got very close. Watch the video after the break.
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Acapulco H.E.A.T.
11 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
If you’re planning a trip to Acapulco Mexico in the hopes of getting into the Mexican drug-trade, it’s best that you have a rethink; as it appears that the drug cartels in Mexico really are as horrifically and creatively violent as they are on TV.
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US Strategy To Plug Leaks Is Leaked
11 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
If you’re big into conspiracy theories about how the United Stated government spends its time covering up the dastardly deeds that it commits, perhaps it’s time for a rethink. It appears that the US government can’t even keep secret their plan to stop their secrets from getting leaked.
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Australian Floods – So Much For A Water-Scarce Country [VIDEO]
11 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Here we have a video of a small creek in an obscure part of Queensland, Australia, transforming from a benign trickle into a hellish monster comprised chiefly of speed, water, mud, and cars from this office’s parking lot. The footage is intense, but the awesome Australian accents are pretty distracting.
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My New Favourite Way To Get Fired
11 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
This is from the internet, so I can’t promise that it’s real – but I hope it is. I really do. Apparently this guy got fired from a Domino’s pizza chain for walking in drunk or otherwise chemically affected and the results – well. Read the termination letter yourself, I beg you. It’s beautiful.
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Men Sniff Tears For Science
10 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
A laboratory in Israel is spending its research grant on the very creepy task of harvesting the tears of sad women. According to Shani Gelstein, scientist and tear collector, men found pictures of women less sexually attractive just after smelling the tears of women.
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Destroy Ed Hardy And Clothe The Homeless
10 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The folks at the Super Top Secret advertising firm are taking any Ed Hardy or Affliction t-shirt you send them and donating the clothing to the homeless. We like to keep our bird/stone ratio pretty solid here at 2ov, so the possibility of lowering the global douchebag quotient and helping out the lower-income brackets appeals.
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There Aren’t Really Any Good Puns About Green Rivers In Canada [VIDEO]
10 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
I know, I was surprised too. Some dudes in Canada decided to hurl a couple of bottles of flouroscein into the Goldstream River, turning the whole thing bright flouro green. Way to one-up the Old Testament, Canada. I thought you guys were supposed to be nice.
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Fat Man Blames The UK NHS For Making Him Fat
10 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
Paul Mason, once the most grossly obese man on the planet, wants to sue Britain’s National Health Service for “letting him grow”. At one stage Mason weighed in at very nearly 410 Kg, but after gastric-bypass surgery the virtually waif-like Mason now weighs 235 Kg.
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Obama Anak Menteng Trailor – Featuring Drug Mule Model
06 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
You probably read in this morning’s spice about the Saffer who played Obama’s mama in a movie and then got busted. Now, we’re used to hearing of Saffers smuggling contraband abroad but never against the backdrop of a movie featuring a young Obama playing albasters. So here, free of charge, is that movie’s trailer. An indie flick. Made in Indo. Starring a model junkie. Compulsory viewing, really.
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RIP Gerry Rafferty
05 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
RIP Gerry Rafferty, composer and performer of the 1978 hit, Baker Street, best known for its iconic sax line.
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Man Photographs Own Killer Moments Before His Murder
05 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
A Philippino politician may have been among the first people in the world to die in 2011, but that’s not even the most remarkable part of the story. Reynaldo Dagsa of Calacoon City had been woken by his family just in time to celebrate the New Year with them on the street, where fireworks were on display. Moments later, his life ended.
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