Are you a business executive? Do you find yourself tempted to remain at work until the wee hours of the morning, churning out directional missives, illuminating memos and pep-rousing employee bulletins? You may be adding too much douche to your vocab. Not sure? Test yourself. Do you, or have you ever used one of these […]
Ricky Gervais has announced via his blog that he’s working on an installment of The Office for China, in addition to the Israely, German, Canadian, and French and American versions already in existence. I’m not so sure an obscure, culturally-based sitcom will work in China, especially considering that their gold standard for comedy usually goes […]
What do you get when you combine rape, ghetto smack talk, potentially gay men, and Auto Tunes? No, the answer is NOT “Kuilsriver”. That’s not amusing. Shame on you. The correct answer would be: “Greatest DIY Ghetto Anthem of All Time”, or alternatively, “Eat Your Heart Out, Die Antwoord”. Here’s a little illuminating background info […]
If you pop over to the Maldives in the next few years (as one is prone to do), you might be inclined to hit an extended hang out at the airport in lieu of finding accommodation. Haptic Architects (London) and Narud Stokke Wiig Architects (Oslo) have teamed up to provide a design for the Maldives […]
You may have read on this morning’s spice that Rupert Murdoch has laid claim to the “Sky” in “Skype”, right after Skype announced its plans to float on the Nasdaq stock exchange in New York. The world’s most deliciously-evil media magnate has justified his claim by arguing that NewsCorp derivative BSkyB was established before Skype, […]
Especially when they can’t get their daily McFix. I love McDonalds for one reason, and one reason only – the name is brilliant for McPuns (right, enough of that). But millions of people the world over express a deep and burning desire to consume their preferred McDonalds product each and every day, as the need […]
If the original Top Gear is sex, then Top Gear USA is sex with a dead person. Mechanically speaking, you’re doing the same thing, but it’s wrong, and you should never, ever do it, and society will hate you for it, and you’ll always be remembered as the guy who took something fundamentally awesome and […]
Let me blow your mind: Nandos is in Canada. And no, Brandon Huntley didn’t franchise it. Shocking news, ey? I mean, Nandos must surely be as quintessentially South African as KFC, what with it’s Portuguese name, recipes and store decor. Nevertheless, the great chicken company in the sky is downright universal, making an appearance across […]
If you’re in an executive position (as most of you LSM 12-14 vibers will be), then this is the kind of boss that you should aspire to be. Clearly, this man has been taking management lessons from one Seth Rotherham, esq. I mean, look at this company memo. Solid gold leadership, ey? There’s oh so […]
“Marina Bay Sands” sounds like a fairly generic resort, right? It could be anywhere in the world. It’d be nice, but you know, when you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. Wrong. Infinity pools are as cool as they sound. But a 150 meter long, gently curving arc of water perched on top of a […]
Everyone knows Iran needs a steady supply of uranium to develop it’s peaceful nuclear energy-production. But the west is being all iffy about monitoring the grade and quantity of uranium that the Iranians can get their hands on. Western governments have even gone so far as to implement sanctions against Iran. Those guys are total […]
The North Korean football team, along with it’s entire complement of staff, were recently subjected to a “grand debate”, to discuss the tender matter of their ideological betrayal of their nation. The players were hoofed up on stage, and the big daddys spanked them for about six hours. I was actually there at the time. […]
WikiLeaks founder and destroyer-in-chief of American military credibility, Julian Assange, is not a very well-liked chap. Last week he leaked literally tens of thousands of US Military Afghan War Logs to the press after posting them on WikiLeaks.org. The logs detail the nitty gritty details of the nine-year US occupation of Afghanistan. Assange himself claims […]
So it turns out that most of what we know about dinosaurs is lies. ALL LIES. And Steven Spielberg seduced us with deception in the greatest movie of all time, Jurassic Park. If you’re not keen on having your childhood memories of triceratops and all his mates shattered, then don’t read on. If you value […]
Full time human being impersonator, Gwyneth Paltrow, has given us all a perfectly-weighted surprise (shocks are never perfect) by perfectly capably singing an authentic-sounding but none-too abrasive country music song. It’s titled Country Strong. She reportedly recorded the song as part of the sound track to one or other upper-middle tier blockbuster film about a […]
You hear the news? Multi-talented musician and purveyor of all things chilled, Wyclef Jean, is perhaps, potentially, maybe, could-be, considering running as a presidential candidate in the forthcoming Haitian elections. Apparently he’s been tempted to run because of a grassroots youth following lobbying strongly for his political voice in that country. It’s called Face to […]
Seth posted this footage of a man allegedly trying to steal the World Cup (that’s right, the trophy) at the 2010 Fifa World Cup final at Soccer City on July 11. Some of you were kind enough to point out that “a man” was actually Jimmy Jump, a 34 year old professional pitch invader and […]
The Expendables will be the manliest movie you will ever watch in your whole life. Warning: Effeminate viewers may suffer death. Written and directed by the star of the film, Sylvester Stallone, The Expendables promises pretty much the same kind of action as Rambo 4, except this time there’s more than one guy with huge […]
Simon Cowell is a news maker. He’s made his mark by being the asshole judge on shows like Idols, America’s Got Talent, and Britain’s Got Talent. More importantly, he’s earned the reputation of an asshole who very seldom makes a bad call. So some might regard the man to be evil, others may hold the […]
Durex, the international condom manufacturer have, just like every other company with a marketing team worth its salt, developed a snazzy iPhone app. Kudos to them. That said, there are a few interesting things to note in the promotional video. Say, for example, their reasoning that guys don’t use condoms while making the beast with […]
You know who Sarah Palin is, right? She’s that most painful of creatures – a self-righteous, insular hockey mom with the backing of a powerful political party. And she’s also not very bright. Which is perhaps a great reason to keep herself AWAY from social media tools, like Twitter, for instance. The great TweetMachine has […]
There is a particularly handsome homeless man in China. And people are FREAKING OUT about it. Web forum locals in China have dubbed the sultry street walker “Brother Sharp”, apparently with reference to his hauntingly good looks and snappy avant garde dressing style. Mmm, yes. Those homeless bastards sure do know how to trump us […]
Well with Mel Gibson’s latest rage and George Michael smashing his Range rover into a shop, pissed, one can only be impressed with these quick-off-the-mark thinkers. This, sent in by Nick W, which his mate took and sent him – taken at the very Snappy Snaps outlet which George Michael crashed into. the damage is […]
Love him or hate him, but mostly hate him, Sepp Blatter was the lucky recipient of the Order of the Companions of OR Tambo, bestowed upon his reverend person by the magnanimous nation of South Africa. Well, alright then. You diplomats brown nose each other in whichever way you prefer. But, oh sweet heavens, how […]
In the gulag that Seth has us working in, we have a beating chamber. It’s the one small mercy of my life at 2oceansvibe. When I’m relieved of my duties as a human coffee table (after meetings), I go back to the beating chamber, where I get to break microwaves, furniture and sunglasses from rival […]
Vaseline is taking capitalising on social pressures to a wonderfully tech-savvy level. They’ve launched a Facebook app for a range of skin lightening cream due to be released next month in India. The page name for the app is “Vaseline Men BE PREPARED“, and incites YOU to “Transform Your Face on Facebook With Vaseline Men” […]
Morning, kids. Are you ready for some delightfully cheery death chat? The “what happens to my online presence when I die” question has been haunting our minds in recent months, ever since the story broke about Facebook suggesting people “reconnect” or “share the latest news” with a deceased friend. Epic failure. Think about it. Twitter, […]
The Hef “Hugh” Hefner, as we like to call him, has lured an equity company to bed, and together they plan on buying out all of Playboy Enterprises remaining company shares in a bid to make things a little more private. Apparently he’s not interested in selling his shares, or merging with other shareholders. But […]
Independent Newspapers [IOL, Cape Times etc] is known for its occasionally obtuse and ambiguous headlines. For example, when more boring news groups might report “TWO MEN ARRESTED IN DRUG BUST”, Independent would probably phrase it thus: “WITNESS FINGERS DRUG LORDS – TWO ARRESTED” Shockingly enough, what I’m about to show you did NOT, I repeat, […]
So the European Space Agency has had a bit of a revelation, and they’ve struck upon the idea to build a “remote access toolkit to rebuild the human race” on the moon. In other words, said toolkit is what evil geniuses refer to as a “doomsday ark”. Apparently, the ark will contain the essentials of […]