You can take the boy out of Maritzburg… Since suffering a monumental loss of form for his adopted, beloved, esteemed, most highly regarded homeland, England, Kevin “KP” Pietersen has made a rather quiet return to KwaZulu-Natal – the land from whence he first spawned. That’s understandable, I hear you say. Sometimes all you need to […]
…And has decided that it can’t shoulder all of the responsibility for the Deepwater Horizon oil spill, an ecological disaster of biblical proportions. In fact, BP have scrutinised the situation so finely that they’ve come to the conclusion that they can’t bear much of the blame for the mass rape of North America’s Gulf at […]
It mightn’t look it, but what you see above is a graphic representation of narrowly-dodged doom.
“Daniel Radcliffe needs a date.” He looks ab-fab, hey? In case we had any doubts, Daniel Radcliffe (best known for his role as Harry Potter) is very comfortable with his sexuality. And everyone else’s, apparently. He’s rocking the pale skin, bright red lips and chest hair triad of erotic signifiers pretty hard here. And how […]
The legendary fail-whale When you happen to be an Australian Olympic gold medalist swimmer sponsored by an elite care brand, it’s probably not a good idea to talk trash on Twitter. If you’re a naturalised English sportsman that’s suffered a run of poor form in recent times and have since been cut from the national […]
Cue pithy comments related to hedge funds! Hedge funds, get it? Hedge funds? Forget it. Forbes recently reported that an executive of New Stream Capital, Tara Bryson, was arrested and charged with running a marijuana factory from her 6 000 square foot home, because, apparently, it’s a tough financial gig being a loan shark.
Wow, and there I was thinking we were confused! With our London taxis on the roads and people singing Ole Ole at the sports stadiums, we certainly are a melting pot of cultures and have become professionals at ‘borrowing’ foreign nation’s ideas, pastimes and even sayings. Not that there is anything wrong with that – […]
In case you haven’t heard, everyone hates Julian Assange. And more to the point, everyone hates WikiLeaks in general. And by “everyone”, I of course mean people with secrets to keep. Namely governments and multinational corporations. Now that’s absolutely no reflection on the merit of WikiLeak’s work, and the job that they fulfill of making […]
Haters gonna hate… On Tuesday Andy Roddick, the current darling of United States tennis, reminded everyone who might have begun to believe otherwise that he does indeed have the temperament of an infant. After protesting a foot fault call by a line judge, which was proved to be correct by video replay, Roddick postured for […]
US news wires were buzzing this morning with news that a hostage situation was unfolding at the Discovery Channel headquarters in Montgomery County, USA. This, from the Associated Press: James Lee, 43, a gunman with what police described as “concerns” with the Discovery Channel networks took at least one person hostage in the company’s Silver […]
China is suffering under the weight of a societal malaise. And this time it’s not due to the influence of the Great Western Devil. In the sweltering heat of summer, when the refreshing breezes desert the city, Hu Lianqun absent-mindedly reaches for a solution: He rolls up his shirt to expose his belly, often fanning […]
It’s Spring Day. Wonderful, isn’t it? Sure, depending on where you are in the Southern Hemisphere, the weather might not be very Spring-like. But such is life, and the meteorological musings of our planet. The good news is that the days are getting longer, the sun is shining more regularly, animals are copulating left, right […]
Those of you connected to a neat little trick called the internet (I hear it’s getting quite big) may know that the 62nd annual Emmy Awards went off without nary a hitch last night. At least, that would be the opinion of everyone besides the event’s host, Jimmy Falon. Much to Jimmy’s chagrin, Ricky Gervais […]
Some of you studied at UCT. Some of you may have even been forced to make forays to UCT’s Hiddingh Campus, AKA Hipster-Central. I remember those brief, but terrifying outings. The Hipsters. They’re so, so much cleverer than us. They talk about Nietzsche and Kant, and judge me when I reply by telling them not […]
There’s a cess-pit of bad football films out there. Of course, the discerning viewer will recognise that Any Given Sunday rises above the sentiment and excrement that makes up 90% of the movies in this drama. It’s a great film. There’s plenty of old-school Pacino filth and grit in there. And there’s that one, iridescent […]
Similar, much? 2oceansvibe was abuzz in Friday afternoon with news that Russian statesman, Vladimir Putin, had cross-bowed a whale. But we thought it was worth the time to point out, on record, that Putin only spends part of his time shooting sea behemoths from rubber dingies, swimming in frozen Siberian lakes, hunting Brown Bears with […]
Are you underpaid, undervalued, and sidelined at work? Are you feeling brave? Then QUIT! QUIT I TELL YOU! Everyone else is striking, why not one-up those public-sector amateurs? But if you’re going to do it, you absolutely have to do it in style, like (yes, we know it’s fake), or this. But writing, photography, and […]
Sumos…Big hands = big slaps Anyone who knows a thing or two about the intricacies and nuances of life as a Sumo Wrestler (pfft, who doesn’t?) will understand that the Sumo is a creature bred for power, weight, and a surprising degree of flexibility. But they’re definitely not bred for texting, or email, or any […]
Word is spreading like wildfire through 2oceansvibe headquarters that a British photographer, by the name of Nick Gleis, managed to sneak onto the private jets of a number of Seth’s closest confidants, who also happen to be the steward’s of many of Africa’s most glorious revolutions. These hallowed men include the likes of Bob Mugabe, […]
Singapore – Doesn’t suck We’re already living in a global village. So the idea of national borders is becoming increasingly strained. Gallup has released data describing where in this big village respondents would re-locate if exorbitant costs (i.e. Visas and travel fees) and international borders weren’t part of the process. “Sulplise!” Most people said they’d […]
And when I say “SA”, I mean Saudi Arabia. Of course, I couldn’t possibly be talking about the South Africa “SA”. We don’t sever the spinal cords of our criminals. We send them to cooking school. But enough of such tom foolery. Where were we? Ah yes. Corporal punishment. You see, they’re quite keen on […]
James: Doesn’t take hints well Every now and then Bond movies get a little bit carried away with themselves, and throw the baby out with the bath water. The baby would be logic, and the bath water would be narrative. Remember Quantum of Solace? Or the airport scene from Live and Let Die? Remember any […]
Word is afoot that a film version of my all time favourite childhood comic, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is in the works, with the writers of the Iron Man franchise on the case. Although, whether this film will work for the generation that actually cared about the comic remains to be seen. After all, […]
The Guardian reports that an Italian soccer show, Quelli Che il Calcio (of course), has been used as a communications hub by the Mafia to communicate with the Men of Respect doing hard time in the chookie. You know those shows where illiterate viewers text in with their cell phones, and the show scrolls the […]
Exxon Mobil positions it’s brand at the vanguard of innovating clean energy for the world. It has a clean, 21st century look. The employees on it’s corporate advertising posters are friendly, sharply dressed, multi-ethnic. It produces print advertisements in National Geographic like this: And they like to chat quite a bit about water on their […]
The Sun (the vanguard of high-integrity journalism in the United Kingdom) reported this morning that residents of a council estate in West York are being terrorised by monstrously-sized rodents. One man, known only as “Brandon” was the hero of the moment, after he shot one of the beasts twice in the head, thereby smiting it […]
Being a rapper is good for business. Or rather, “bidness, yo”. So much so that Forbes has compiled a list of the top ten highest-grossing rap artists of the last year, subtly titled “Hip Hop Cash Kings” And it goes somethin’ a little like THIS, fool.
Online encyclopedia and paragon of humankind’s collective knowledge, WikiPedia, has proven it’s unbridled accuracy once again. Remember the story about WikiPedia referring to Sepp Blatter as a dickhead? And how the South African presidency made the fatal error of pulling that corrupted biographical info from WikiPedia and pasted it on their site? Well, we hope […]
The greatest Canadian scourge since Brandon Huntley Celine Dion, Justin Bieber stirs grown men to panic. The vapid, androgynous, lesbo-chic music has taken the pubescent world by storm, and the boy girl with the pudding bowl kop chop seems to wield genuine power. As demonstrated by his latest foray into social networking, where he tweeted […]
Remember the JetBlue flight attendant who pulled off the greatest self-termination of employment ever recorded?