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Prawns
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Top SA Cyclist Bust For Doping
06 Nov 2012 by Jasmine Stone / 6 Comments
One of South Africa’s most prominent cyclists, David George, has been caught with his hand in the needle jar, testing positive for the banned performance enhancing drug, EPO. He faces a charge of doping, and the scorn of people wearing spandex in coffee shops, everywhere. Thus spake the CEO of the South African Institute for […]
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Cycling South Africa Are More Concerned About Sport Than The Law
24 Oct 2012 by Seth Rotherham / 14 Comments
It seems Cycling South Africa is more concerned about prizes and competitive cycling, than safety on our roads. Surely the ACTUAL law should be more important than a SPORT’S law? Or do you only take something seriously when your now-fallen saviour Lance is involved? Read on…
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Your 2012 Cape Argus Road Closures
09 Mar 2012 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
It’s that time of the year again when thousands of lycra-clad cyclists descend on the Mother City for the Cape Argus Pick ‘n Pay Cycle Tour. Capetonians, your road closures begin tomorrow, so here is what you need to be aware of.
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On A Mother Effin’ Bike – Argus Riders, Eat Your Hearts Out
09 Mar 2012 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Following on from the news that Albert de Wet’s track, “Bikin’ RSA” was initially sent to media as the official song of the Cape Argus Pick n Pay Cycle Tour, and then sternly rejected by officials from the organisation, we suggest that bikers across the country rally around this song ahead of the big race […]
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The Official Argus 2012 Song Is Stunning
01 Mar 2012 by Jasmine Stone / 6 Comments
This is the official song for the 2012 Argus. Here’s a little info on the artist, Albert de Wet. Albert de Wet was introduced to the music industry in 2007, with the release of his debut Afrikaans album, Dagboek van ‘n Dromer. Ironically though, it was his English track, Within Walls, that put him on […]
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Prawns Apologise To Motorists For Sunday’s 94.7 Momentum Cycle Challenge
18 Nov 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
A 2oceansViber sent us this report regarding an upcoming prawn gathering in Johannesburg. Yesterday morning, a bunch of them hit the morning traffic on foot, yet still wearing their helmets. Their agenda? To apologise in advance for Sunday’s 94.7 Momentum Cycle Challenge, and to present motorists with alternative routes to get around the city. They also urged drivers to #SmileDammit
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Germany Is Also Having A Problem With Its Cyclists
21 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 6 Comments
German drivers and pedestrians have begun to get really upset with the behaviour of a vast majority of the cycling population inhabiting the streets around the country. German statisticians have revealed that one in three urban accidents involved a bicycle last year, with one in four being deadly.
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The Award-Winning Invisible Cycling Helmet [VIDEO]
06 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Swedish designers have made a cycling helmet that isn’t totally obnoxious, which is pretty great. It won an award. Understand that no matter how nice this helmet is, it still isn’t okay to wear this guy indoors, because that’s rude. Still, it just won the Index:Award, the largest monetary prize for design in the world.
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San Francisco Prawn Infestation: A Photo Essay Of Terror
28 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
Today we received this harrowing report from San Francisco by a brave 2oceansViber. Before you continue, note that we indemnify ourselves from any angst or emotional complications that you may suffer as a result of reading the following letter.
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Driver “Severely Embarrassed” After Footage Of Road-Rage Attack On Cyclist Is Posted Online [VIDEO]
27 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 6 Comments
Earlier this week Seth told you about the “Give Respect, Get Respect” campaign in America. It seems four- and two-wheeled road users in the UK might also benefit from this message. After seeing a video of himself assaulting a cyclist on the internet, a motorist has now offered his apology, saying he is “severely embarrassed.”
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Waterborne-Prawn Spotted In Finland: A Tale Of Terror
15 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Yesterday we received this harrowing report from Europe by a brave 2oceansViber. Before you continue, note that we indemnify ourselves from any angst or emotional complications that you may suffer as a result of reading the following letter.
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Adderley Street Flower Sellers The Moer In With City Prawn Lane
12 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Flower selling in Adderley Street, Cape Town, is tradition in one of its purest forms. For some 100 years, man has always known he merely has to make a short drive into town, come rain or shine, to demonstrate old fashioned chivalry. Unfortunately, it appears an unused prawn lane is now hurting business, say the sellers.
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The Prawns Have Infiltrated The Food Chain
10 Jun 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Yesterday we received this harrowing report from the Far East by a brave 2oceansViber. Before you continue, note that we indemnify ourselves from any angst or emotional complications that you may suffer as a result of reading the following letter.
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Brazilian Police Nab Cyclist-Smasher
04 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Yesterday,social cyclists taking part in a Critical Mass event in Sao Paulo, Brazil, we’re struck and injured by a vehicle accelerating through the crowd of cyclists. How no one was killed in the process is mystifying, and the only bright spot on this whole affair. Police have arrested a suspect.
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Crowd Of Social Brazilian Cycles Run Over By Lunatic [PG13 VIDEO]
03 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 15 Comments
Long-time 2oceansvibe readers will be aware of our mild allergy to offensive cyclists – you know, the chaps who cruise in to cafes on Saturday morning, sweat gushing from their epidermis, balls cupped by spandex, which are at eye level as they walk in. But we never said anyone should drive at full speed into a crowd of cyclists.
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Horse Bicycle Thing Shortlisted For Seoul Cycle Design Competition 2010
25 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
It’s Friday, and you need to look at this. Korean designer Eungi Kim assembled a horse-shaped bike frame for the Seoul Cycle Design Competiton and I can’t tell if I hate it or not. It’s horse-shaped, so I approve inherently, but it’s just one rung below the penny farthing on the hipster scale.
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Check Out This Old Prawn
21 Dec 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 4 Comments
I think we can safely say that the Howard Centre in Pinelands is as exciting as waiting in the queue at Home Affairs, so when this old chap appeared infront of me at Pick n Pay I was stunned. Have we found the hive leader?
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The Internet Had Some Things To Say This Weekend
20 Dec 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Well, obviously. It does most weekends. Mostly it talked about don’t-ask-don’t-tell being repealed, which is splendid – but I was focusing more on what was being said about bikes. Bikes and cars. Bikes and cars and pedestrians, and their relationship to one another. The word ‘prawn’ was implied, but not quite stated.
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Cycling Is Terrible For Humanity, And Semen
10 Dec 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
Recent medical studies have indicated that a high number of hours spent on a cycling saddle per week is likely to lower your semen count.
Not all bad news, that is if we’re all aiming to be like Lance and Live Strong (read: sterile).
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