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Politics
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The Burqa Ban Deadline Is Fast Approaching
07 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The French are preparing to sail themselves into unchartered waters when the ban on wearing the Muslim burqa and other Islamic face coverings in public places comes into effect in just over a month. Racial tensions in that country have already begun to boil with the John Galliano “I love Hitler” incident. This will be interesting.
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Julius Malema And Friends Want 60% Of Anglo-American
07 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 4 Comments
ANC Youth League President and man of letters, Julius Malema, says that his organisation would like some shares in mining company Anglo American, 60% to be precise. The predicated price of what would be a record take-over, the ANCYL predict, would be about R0.00.
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Beijing Is Tracking All Mobile Phone User’s Movements
04 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
They can do that now. By ‘they’ I mean ‘those with money and de facto power,’ obviously, not specifically the heads of the PRC – but I mean government scrutiny of human movement is being implemented on a huge, huge scale. It’s called the Information Platform of Real-time Citizen Movement – which sounds like a good and reasonable platform.
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The “Manyi” Bill, Let’s Crunch Those Numbers
03 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Oh, you didn’t know that cabinet has already approved this little racial nugget? Well, basically it’s just waiting for a few more signatures now before it forces change upon us. According to the SA Institute of Race Relations, who kindly did crunch the numbers for everyone, a lot of job loss and not much job creation is in order.
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This Week In Racism (A Summary)
03 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Racist fisticuffs are breaking out everywhere like the pimples on a young man’s greasy teenage skin. If it wasn’t enough when Kuli had a go at the coloureds, now the big guns have greased up their bodies with baby oil and are basically free wrestling with each other in the media.
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Jimmy Manyi: No One But The BMF And ANCYL Are Behind Him On This One
03 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
If you haven’t heard yet, government spokesman, Jimmy Manyi said recently that he thinks that there is an oversupply of coloured folk in the Western Cape, and that perhaps it is best if they’d shift around a bit. He made the remarks on kykNET last year when he said: “So this over-concentration of coloureds in the Western Cape is not working for them.”
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Iran Says London Logo Is Racist, Needs Redesign
02 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
Well here’s some sport’s news from those kooky guys in fun-lovin’ Iran. The world’s craziest government has now decided that the 2012 London Olympic Games logo is racist.
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Anonymous’ Hack Scandal Forces Head of HBGary’s Resignation
02 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Anonymous, the online sort-of-anarchic sort-of-activist group, forced Aaron Barr, head of HBGary Federal, the massive American tech security company, to resign. Which is sort of a huge deal in the way that Charlie Sheen isn’t. Even though I love everything that Charlie Sheen touches.
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Clifton Dictator Orders $380 Million Yacht
01 Mar 2011 by Seth Rotherham / 3 Comments
Teodorin Obiang, the 41-year-old son of Equatorial Guinea’s dictator, who has in the past done business in Clifton with local real estate agent, Denise Dogon, has commissioned the building of a luxury superyacht for himself worth $380 million – three times more than his country spends annually on health and education. The suspicion is that […]
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Julian Assange Applies ™ To His Name
01 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Wikileaks founder Julian Assange, is attempting to trademark his name for use in “public speaking services” and “entertainment services.” Personally I’d exercise a little more energy on the whole ‘I’m being extradited to Sweden for charges of rape and sexual assault,’ thing, but maybe this is more important.
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Zuma Rescued From Flirtatious Woman
01 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Our commander-in-chief had to be rescued by his bodyguards when an unidentified woman got a little too frisky with him at a gala event in Sun City. The party, which was celebrated on the eve of the ANC’s election manifesto, has left our leader with the daunting task of explaining the incident to not one wife, but three. And you thought being president was easy.
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Zuma’s R200 Million Renovations
01 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
With mainstream local media finding itself plenty to keep busy with over the last few days, a nice little presidential renovation story slipped past almost unnoticed. The top dog is obviously sprucing things up rather nicely at home because it’s costing close to R200 million.
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Aid Frozen To Countries No Longer In Poverty
28 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Britain will stop giving aid to 16 countries after a major review found that they were no longer in poverty. Some of these countries have really been freeloading it seems, India for one can afford a frigging space program, but they’re still happy to take aid?!
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Exclusive: SA Government Confirms Sale Of Arms To Libya
24 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 6 Comments
Yesterday 2oceansvibe published a photo of what the ISS confirmed to be an armoured personnel carrier being loaded on to a vessel in the Cape Town Harbour, shown above. NCACC spokesperson, Tlali Tlali, has confirmed to 2oceansvibe that South Africa has sold arms to Libya. Click link for more..
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So Just How Crazy Is Gadaffi?
24 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
While the Libyan leader stubbornly clings to power amidst the uprisings that are sweeping his country, we thought we would take the time to remind you just how crazy he is. And let’s just say, as far as tyrannical African dictators go, he’s up there with the best of them.
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Is South Africa Sending Troops And Arms To Libya? [UPDATED]
23 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 5 Comments
A 2oceansviber spotted this vehicle at the cargo loading terminal of the Cape Town Harbour this morning. The photo appears to show a small tank, or an armoured personnel carrier. The photo appears in the wake of claims by the DA that South Africa exported armoured personnel carriers to Libya in late 2010. Guy Lamb of the Institute for Security Studies answers our questions.
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Zimbabweans Charged For Attempting To Watch Video
22 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
For days rumours have bounced back and forth claiming Zimbabweans and the people of the Kingdom of Swaziland should follow the example of the Egyptians and Tunisians and themselves revolt against their dictatorships. Now 46 Zimbo’s have been arrested for attempting to watch some BBC and Al Jazeera videos on a projector.
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Berlusconi Knows How To Treat A Lady – £200,000 To Ruby The Heart Stealer
21 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi, will stand trial in Milan this April. The charges? Sex with an underage prostitute. Karima el-Mahroug, dubbed Ruby the Heart Stealer, allegedly received 24 gifts from Berlusconi, with a worth totaling £200 000. That’s roughly 2 318 401 Rond here in South Africa.
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WikiLeaks: ANC A Mess
21 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
According to a United States Embassy cable obtained by City Press, the ANC is a “complete mess”. I could have told you this to be completely honest, but apparently you need “evidence” to prove things these days.
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Map Middle-East Protests With Google Maps and Twitter
21 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
It’s sort of hard to be on the internet right now without hearing about protests from whichever North African/Middle Eastern country is falling under the ‘freedom’ bandwagon, but this Google Maps/Twitter mashup contextualizes the online protest movement nicely – and in real time.
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Joburg Residents Charge Mayor Amos Masondo – Hello Karma
18 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
You’ll recall just last week we chatted about the atrocious conditions our Joburg friends are having to put up with as a result of what can only be described as the complete and utter mismanagement of local jozi municipal services. Well, finally they have heeded their consciences’ advice and done the right thing by charging their rogue sheriff.
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Zuma Meets Bono – Cute [VIDEO]
18 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
In a touching display of celebrity-on-politician action, Bono delivered a bright red iPod to his new best friend, Jacob Zuma, at the presidential home in Genadendaal. Zuma looked visibly nervous at the specter that is Bono, so much so that he could barely manage to complete a sentence, and as one wasn’t written down for him, who could blame him.
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Ousted Madagascar President Stars In Genius Flight Centre Advertisment
17 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
In a masterclass for all students of subliminal advertising, ex-president (and convicted criminal) of Madagascar, Marc Ravalomanana (say it quickly) announced his imminent return from exile in South Africa to Madagascar.
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Kim Jong Il Blesses Us With Another Year
16 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
We’ve basically spent the whole day crashing around the office in a state of glee, playing Intern Skittles (we’ll explain the rules at a later stage), Intern Pinata, and Pin The Tale On The Intern. And it’s all in aid of celebrating a special boy’s birthday!
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A Spat Is Quietly Brewing In The Valley
15 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
A Constantia Uitsig Wine Estate development application to extend the commercial nature of the business it conducts is being opposed by the Constantia Property Owners Association (CPOA). Why? Because 30 new residential houses and 12 new hotel rooms being built will result in, like more traffic. And like, effect the environment and, like, its World Heritage Site chances.
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South Africa Did Okay In The WHO’s Booze Championships
15 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
It’s that time of year again kids – that’s right, the WHO has released their saucy ‘Global Status Report on Alcohol and Health 2011’ – which means we get to find out if SA’s still a rock-out party country, or if we’ve gotten all lame and started taking our liver problems seriously.
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“They Never Even Offered Me One [Joint]” – Chilean Miner
14 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Weed, porn and political activism are just a few of the rumblings materialising from the infamous Chilean mining accident. Information sharing was tightly controlled by Chilean authorities for the duration of the saga, but New York Times journalist Jonathan Franklin was one of the privileged few considered to be on a need to know basis. He’s written a book on the matter.
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God’s New ANC Range Of Angel Robes
08 Feb 2011 by Seth Rotherham / No Comments
Stunning! [thanks gen]
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Free Farting A Thing Of The Past In Malawi
07 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The Malawian government has had enough of people farting wherever they want. Malawian lawmakers will next week debate a law change that will make letting one rip in public a criminal offence. They’re not trying to be funny – they just want people to fart in toilets. They’ll get around to delivering those toilets when they’ve sorted out the farting.
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When Unpolished Politicians Use Facebook
04 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Here is a tip for becoming a successful politician: When you write newspaper columns criticising your own political party, they will be upset and invite you to a disciplinary. Logging onto Facebook and calling them “dickheads” will only make the situation worse.
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