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Politics
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Zuma’s R200 Million Renovations
01 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
With mainstream local media finding itself plenty to keep busy with over the last few days, a nice little presidential renovation story slipped past almost unnoticed. The top dog is obviously sprucing things up rather nicely at home because it’s costing close to R200 million.
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Aid Frozen To Countries No Longer In Poverty
28 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Britain will stop giving aid to 16 countries after a major review found that they were no longer in poverty. Some of these countries have really been freeloading it seems, India for one can afford a frigging space program, but they’re still happy to take aid?!
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Exclusive: SA Government Confirms Sale Of Arms To Libya
24 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 6 Comments
Yesterday 2oceansvibe published a photo of what the ISS confirmed to be an armoured personnel carrier being loaded on to a vessel in the Cape Town Harbour, shown above. NCACC spokesperson, Tlali Tlali, has confirmed to 2oceansvibe that South Africa has sold arms to Libya. Click link for more..
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So Just How Crazy Is Gadaffi?
24 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
While the Libyan leader stubbornly clings to power amidst the uprisings that are sweeping his country, we thought we would take the time to remind you just how crazy he is. And let’s just say, as far as tyrannical African dictators go, he’s up there with the best of them.
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Is South Africa Sending Troops And Arms To Libya? [UPDATED]
23 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 5 Comments
A 2oceansviber spotted this vehicle at the cargo loading terminal of the Cape Town Harbour this morning. The photo appears to show a small tank, or an armoured personnel carrier. The photo appears in the wake of claims by the DA that South Africa exported armoured personnel carriers to Libya in late 2010. Guy Lamb of the Institute for Security Studies answers our questions.
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Zimbabweans Charged For Attempting To Watch Video
22 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
For days rumours have bounced back and forth claiming Zimbabweans and the people of the Kingdom of Swaziland should follow the example of the Egyptians and Tunisians and themselves revolt against their dictatorships. Now 46 Zimbo’s have been arrested for attempting to watch some BBC and Al Jazeera videos on a projector.
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Berlusconi Knows How To Treat A Lady – £200,000 To Ruby The Heart Stealer
21 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi, will stand trial in Milan this April. The charges? Sex with an underage prostitute. Karima el-Mahroug, dubbed Ruby the Heart Stealer, allegedly received 24 gifts from Berlusconi, with a worth totaling £200 000. That’s roughly 2 318 401 Rond here in South Africa.
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WikiLeaks: ANC A Mess
21 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
According to a United States Embassy cable obtained by City Press, the ANC is a “complete mess”. I could have told you this to be completely honest, but apparently you need “evidence” to prove things these days.
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Map Middle-East Protests With Google Maps and Twitter
21 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
It’s sort of hard to be on the internet right now without hearing about protests from whichever North African/Middle Eastern country is falling under the ‘freedom’ bandwagon, but this Google Maps/Twitter mashup contextualizes the online protest movement nicely – and in real time.
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Joburg Residents Charge Mayor Amos Masondo – Hello Karma
18 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
You’ll recall just last week we chatted about the atrocious conditions our Joburg friends are having to put up with as a result of what can only be described as the complete and utter mismanagement of local jozi municipal services. Well, finally they have heeded their consciences’ advice and done the right thing by charging their rogue sheriff.
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Zuma Meets Bono – Cute [VIDEO]
18 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
In a touching display of celebrity-on-politician action, Bono delivered a bright red iPod to his new best friend, Jacob Zuma, at the presidential home in Genadendaal. Zuma looked visibly nervous at the specter that is Bono, so much so that he could barely manage to complete a sentence, and as one wasn’t written down for him, who could blame him.
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Ousted Madagascar President Stars In Genius Flight Centre Advertisment
17 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
In a masterclass for all students of subliminal advertising, ex-president (and convicted criminal) of Madagascar, Marc Ravalomanana (say it quickly) announced his imminent return from exile in South Africa to Madagascar.
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Kim Jong Il Blesses Us With Another Year
16 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
We’ve basically spent the whole day crashing around the office in a state of glee, playing Intern Skittles (we’ll explain the rules at a later stage), Intern Pinata, and Pin The Tale On The Intern. And it’s all in aid of celebrating a special boy’s birthday!
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A Spat Is Quietly Brewing In The Valley
15 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
A Constantia Uitsig Wine Estate development application to extend the commercial nature of the business it conducts is being opposed by the Constantia Property Owners Association (CPOA). Why? Because 30 new residential houses and 12 new hotel rooms being built will result in, like more traffic. And like, effect the environment and, like, its World Heritage Site chances.
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South Africa Did Okay In The WHO’s Booze Championships
15 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
It’s that time of year again kids – that’s right, the WHO has released their saucy ‘Global Status Report on Alcohol and Health 2011’ – which means we get to find out if SA’s still a rock-out party country, or if we’ve gotten all lame and started taking our liver problems seriously.
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“They Never Even Offered Me One [Joint]” – Chilean Miner
14 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Weed, porn and political activism are just a few of the rumblings materialising from the infamous Chilean mining accident. Information sharing was tightly controlled by Chilean authorities for the duration of the saga, but New York Times journalist Jonathan Franklin was one of the privileged few considered to be on a need to know basis. He’s written a book on the matter.
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God’s New ANC Range Of Angel Robes
08 Feb 2011 by Seth Rotherham / No Comments
Stunning! [thanks gen]
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Free Farting A Thing Of The Past In Malawi
07 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The Malawian government has had enough of people farting wherever they want. Malawian lawmakers will next week debate a law change that will make letting one rip in public a criminal offence. They’re not trying to be funny – they just want people to fart in toilets. They’ll get around to delivering those toilets when they’ve sorted out the farting.
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When Unpolished Politicians Use Facebook
04 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Here is a tip for becoming a successful politician: When you write newspaper columns criticising your own political party, they will be upset and invite you to a disciplinary. Logging onto Facebook and calling them “dickheads” will only make the situation worse.
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WikiPedia Nails A Summary Of The Middle East Political Situation
03 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Yemen is situated on the southernmost tip of the Arabian peninsula, neighbouring Oman and Saudi Arabia, and is a geographer’s spitting distance across the Red Sea from one particularly troubled Arab state – Egypt. With revolution standing a fair chance of spreading to Yemen, WikiPedia has stepped in to nail a prediction.
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ANCYL Is Against Eating Sushi Off Half-Naked Women
02 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
The ANCYL agrees with a lot of outlandish practices, but they do not, however, agree with the serving of any kind of food off human bodies. Especially when the food in question is served off a half-naked model draped across a white Maserati. Jeez, just when I was thinking of joining.
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Mandela To Watch Lots Of Cricket During Recovery
02 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
When the world’s greatest living icon sends a message that simply says, “bring back the trophy”, AND your president dresses up in Proteas gear to send you off, you know the pressure is on. One wonders if that dreaded c-word is banned from the Proteas camp as they prepare to leave our shores in search of that ever elusive first World Cup triumph…
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Speak2Tweet Lets Egyptians Contact Twitter With Phone Calls
01 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Speak2Tweet was launched over the weekend, a joint venture by Twitter and Google that allows anybody to post to Twitter using just a phone connection, in the hopes of getting more word out about the situation in Egypt as it unfolds. Google bought the company that engineered the technology last week because hey, it’s Google.
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Kim Jong-un Confirms His Destiny With A Fur Hat
01 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Our Dear Leader’s son/amorphous bag of goo/successor has taken the next great step towards ruling North Korea – he bought himself a furry hat just like his dad’s. It’s not any old hat. The Fargo inspired accessory is made of otter fur by the hands of a master craftsman. Only if you’re very serious about ruling North Korea do you get to wear one of these.
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FOX News Needs To Work At Geography AND Objective Newscasting
31 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Alright, yes, I know, I’m the liberal media and I’m just getting all uppity at Fox over it’s insane coverage of this silly little ‘Egypt’ thing. But you will understand if I get a little worried when Egypt’s biggest ally’s most popular news source literally fails to find Egypt on the map. Follow the link and check this out..
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Madiba Media Blackout – We Deserve Better
31 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
For two days all we heard from Milpark Hospital was how family members of Nelson Mandela arrived in droves. Hundreds, nay thousands, of words were churned out keeping us up to date on the state of journalists converging on a bridge. Not one word was issued describing how Mandela was doing. Why was the public draped in silence?
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Do You Hear The People Sing?
28 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
When Tunisians marched en masse a few weeks ago, their long-serving president fled the country. The success of the popular protests have since set off a wave of dischord across North Africa. Yemen is fast following Tunisia’s lead, while Egypt is reportedly on its last legs, parliamentarily-speaking. Shit, as they say, is going down.
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Madiba To Be Discharged
28 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Acting President and official Deputy President Kgalemo Mothlanthe held a press conference regarding the health of Nelson Mandela on Friday afternoon at 12h30. Mandela was admitted earlier in the week to Milpark Hospital in Johannesburg under a veil of secrecy for a collapsed lung.
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We’re Out Of Chocolate By 2014
28 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Unrest in the Ivory Coast is making it impossible to live there let alone farm cocoa. Now, half the world’s cocoa comes from the Ivory Coast. Which means half the world’s chocolate comes from the Ivory Coast. We can absolutely not get by with half the world producing the whole world’s chocolate. Absolutely not.
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US, China State Visit Gets Lost In Translation
20 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The US, China state visit was always going to be a tricky affair. They speak different languages and good translators are so hard to find these days. Nevertheless, they met. Things were off to a good enough start but got testy when Obama straight up told the Chinese head of state they should do something about their human rights record. Whether he heard ‘human’ rights we’ll never know.
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