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Politics
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Apple Rejects New iPhone Game, “Smuggle Truck: Operation Immigration”
29 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
A new iPhone game that’s been developed by a company from Boston, and that allows users to drive a truck full of immigrants through the desert while trying to prevent them from getting thrown out of the vehicle, has understandably been rejected by Apple Inc. The bigoted game can still be downloaded for PC’s and Mac’s though.
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Interviewer Loses His Patience With Orly Taitz, Calls Her Crazy On TV Before Cutting Her Off [VIDEO]
29 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Orly Taitz is the leader of the the “birther” movement – those claiming that Barack Obama is not a legal citizen of the United States. After his official birth certificate was however released earlier this week, she was interviewed on national TV and given the opportunity to apologise. She didn’t. See what happens when the interviewer finally loses his patience with her.
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Obama On Alabama Twister Devastation
29 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
A further tornado outbreak yesterday has killed at least 210 people in Alabama, prompting President Barack Obama to sign a disaster declaration to assist the clean up of the aftermath of the twisters. Tornados have been ravaging the southern states of the USA for days now, and the death toll has risen to 300.
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“She’s Dying Already, There’s No Point In Calling The Ambulance.”
28 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
“A sergeant came around from the charge office and walked out of the station. He didn’t say anything, but walked to her passenger window. He shot her upper arm and it looked like the bullet went through her breast and out of her chest.” Sipho Baloyi, car guard and witness to the fatal shooting outside the Kempton Park Police Station.
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Police Stop ANC Members From Disrupting DA Rally, Makes You Think
28 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
Police had to step in yesterday when a group of ANC supporters attempted to stop a DA rally from taking place in the Mamelodi Township in Pretoria. This is just a blip on the South African political radar that will quickly be forgotten, but it gave me pause for thought.
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Malema Vs AfriForum/TAU: Counting The Cost
25 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 10 Comments
It was at 02h33 just this morning when Dead American Writers cut through my sleep. I reached out to grab my ringing cellphone, my senses still dulled and drugged by the heavy slumber I had been so rudely pulled out of. Who the hell would call me at that hour? Was it my colleagues, about to breathlessly announce that we need a story chop-chop? Were the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse upon us? Had Nelson Mandela finally passed on?
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RIP Photojournalist Tim Hetherington
21 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
British filmmaker and photojournalist, Tim Hetherington, who co-directed the Oscar-nominated documentary on the Afghanistan War, Restrepo, was killed yesterday in Misrata, Libya, following the firing of an RPG at a group of journalists. He was 41 years old. Three other journalists were injured in the attack.
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Five Million Lucky South Africans Have More Than One ID
20 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
You may knowingly or unknowingly be one of five million South Africans who have two Identity Documents, even if you don’t want two. Minister Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma said yesterday that they were able to determine this fact by checking the re-issue dates of documents. Simple, but brilliant.
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Syria Moves To Lift Emergency Law After 48 Years
20 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The Syrian government yesterday passed a bill lifting the country’s decades-old emergency law, some hours after protesters were fired upon by security forces. This follows weeks of pro-reform demonstrations and protests. Syria’s President Bashar al-Assad has at this point not yet signed the bill into legislation.
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The Chinese ‘Jasmine-Revolution:’ Turning Politburo Paranoia Against Itself
19 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
A number of bloggers have been making reference to a ‘Jasmine Revolution,’ wherein Chinese citizens show discontent for local corruption by walking around crowded public areas on Sunday afternoons. This never happened, but Sunday walks did. Authorities are convinced that the protest is still happening.
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Cele Retracts His Dewani “Monkey” Statement
19 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Our infallible chief of police, General Bheki Cele, has humbly decided to withdraw his statement calling murder suspect, Shrien Dewani, “a monkey”. It has been a mere four months, but Cele decided that in the interest of all concerned, he ought to withdraw his monkey comment, Public Protector Thuli Madonsela said on Monday. And so he did.
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US Politician Caught Forwarding Photo Of Obama As An Ape
19 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
A prominent US politician, Marilyn Davenport, is in trouble for sending out an email with a photo of chimpanzee parents and their infant. Barack Obama’s face is superimposed on the chimpanzee infant, and the caption reads: “Now you know why no birth certificate.” Her response to the whole matter, however, is even spicier.
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Facebook Faces New Suit
18 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Just when it looked as if the commotion over Facebook’s early days might be about to disappear, the long-running legal shenanigans over the rightful ownership of the online social network has sprung another surprise. Paul Ceglia has submitted a complaint with e-mails that he claimed would support his case for a share in the company.
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Robert Mugabe Renames UK To “British Gaydom”
15 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
Robert Mugabe has used the funeral of ZANU-PF intelligence chief Menard Muzariri to voice his concerns about tolerance towards homosexuality in Europe. See how masterfully he combines the words “unnatural”, “Gaydom”, and “filth” in a patriotic attempt to unite his country in the fight against moving into modern times.
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Fake Army Recruited In American Immigration Scam
15 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
A resident of Temple City, California, is accused of running a fake military recruitment centre, where Chinese would-be-immigrants were made to pay to join a “special forces reserve” unit that would supposedly improve their chances of becoming US citizens. The “unit” is well known in Los Angeles, and was assumed to be genuine.
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The President of the Czech Republic Is A Stationery Pilferer [VIDEO]
14 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
Vaclav Klaus is the president of the Czech Republic. He also seems to be a human magpie. See how he spots a shiny pen on his desk, and then sneakily pockets it. The brazen stylus heist, however, took place in full view of the media (with video cameras) during a ceremony to announce a trade agreement between his country and Chile.
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The National Party Is Back – Can Like To Have Cape Town
14 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
The National Party is back, baby. Wake up and smell the freshly-opened emotional wounds, followed by a faint whiff of “too soon”. Their self-proclaimed goal is to unseat the DA in the forthcoming municipal elections. Good to see that they’ve developed a sense of humour in the wilderness of Democracy.
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Bafana Will Change Their Name, Maybe, No Comment
13 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The South African Football Association (SAFA) has decided not to tell anyone anything about the decision as to whether or not the national Soccer team will change its name from Bafana Bafana to something else.
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Gbagbo Unseated, Arrested In Ivory Coast
12 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Following a military assault on his residence in Abidjan, Ivory Coast politician Laurent Gbagbo has surrendered and been placed under UN guard, thus ceding power to his UN-recognised successor, Alassane Ouattara; this after Gbagbo’s refusal to accept defeat in November’s presidential poll.
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Politician Snapped While Watching Porn In Parliament (With FAIL Pic)
12 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
An Indonesian lawmaker quit politics yesterday after he was caught watching pornography on his tablet computer during a session in parliament. At least this guy was awake, unlike some of the pictures I’ve seen taken during our parliamentary sessions.
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New Book Claims Malcolm X Was “Gay-For-Pay”
11 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Oh Malcolm, my brother, say it isn’t so! A new, extensive biography on the famous man himself claims that Mr. X intentionally fabricated, exaggerated, glossed over, and omitted vital facts about his life. One such fact omitted was his same-sex relationship with a white businessman.
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France Introduces Burqa Ban Today – Ban Defied
11 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
The controversial law banning full-face veils came into effect today in France, home to Europe’s largest Muslim population. Public wearing of niqabs or burqas is now liable for a fine of 150 euros and a citizenship course; people charged with forcing women to wear full-face veils may be subject to jail time.
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China Bans Time-Travel Movies
08 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Well this is probably just the cherry on the big ol’ authoritarian cake they got going on over there, but hot damn. All the best movies had time travel in them. Never mind the fact that now a generation of Chinese kids won’t spend every waking moment waiting for their future selves to arrive in a DeLorean.
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New York Busies Itself With State Vegetable Debate
07 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
We can all guess what the official fruit of New York State is, can’t we? That’s right – the apple. Official drink of the New Yawkers? Milk. But now the race is on to name the official state vegetable. And the lawmakers are making a meal of it.
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Angelina Causes Slight Riot
06 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Angelina Jolie, savior of Africa, had to cut her trip to a Tunisian refugee camp short after a riot broke out.
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Facebook Launches “Journalists On Facebook”
06 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
In a much anticipated move, the social media giant has finally unveiled its next step in advancing the power of journalism through social networking. It’s described as a central resource tool for journalists and the public to share, interact and find sources on the site. Try and stop us now Julius, Jimmy, Floyd and the other haters out there.
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Julius Says Zille Dances Like A Monkey
05 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
In an interesting case of irony, head of the ANC youth league, Julius Malema, said yesterday that head of the DA, Helen Zille, dances like a monkey. An astute political statement from the well learned gentleman.
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Fake Weed Gets Naval Academy Student Expelled
04 Apr 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
It seems this is a common problem that the US Naval Academy faces. Another midshipman was expelled from the force for using or having a banned weed-like substance known as “spice”. No spice. This brings the total number of expulsions to 12.
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ANC Youth League Website Hacked
31 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
The ANC Youth League’s website was hacked yesterday. A message was posted saying that the great one himself, Julius Malema, had decided to quit as president of the organisation due to his own incompetence, lack of integrity and a lot of other stuff we know all too well.
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Tanzanian Shaman Takes Break, 26km Queue Too Long
30 Mar 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
The Tanzanian “miracle” pastor, Reverend Ambilikile “Babu” Mwasapile has called for a break. He has temporarily asked people to stop going to his remote home for a “miracle cure” after thousands flocked there, resulting in chaos in the surrounding area.
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