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Politics
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Cele Flies In Style
27 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
It seems that there truly isn’t a day goes by where some politician is caught on the take, then denies it, then blames the media, and then gets off. Monday was Malema’s turn and Tuesday Was Bheki’s. His mate Nathi got to explain just why the chief needed to spend 1.498 million Rand on plane trips.
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Zimbabwean Man To Stand Trial For Telling A Mugabe Joke
26 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Zebedia Mpofu allegedly had the audacity to tell a colleague at work that a soft drink and packet of biscuits he was having for lunch came courtesy of Zimbabwe’s economic policies under Robert Mugabe’s main rival, Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai. Thank goodness someone heard and reported this traitor, who now has to stand trail for insulting and/or undermining Mugabe.
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Shock! The Broederbond Funds The Media! (Says ANCYL)
25 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 4 Comments
The ANC Youth League has attacked the media for reporting on Julius Malema’s finances, claiming that it’s all a big conspiracy against him and that the media is “funded” by the right-wing Afrikaaner group “Die Broederbond”.
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ANCYL Website Hacked For A Fourth Time
25 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
This photoshopped poster appeared on the “home page” of the “ANCYL”, “hours ago”. All of this is in quotation marks because apparently just about anything can happen with https://ancyl.org.za, which is currently enjoying an extended period of downtime. As Dumb & Dumber is the official choice of 2oceansVibe as Greatest Film of All Time, we […]
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ANCYL Website Hacked For The Third Time This Year [PIC]
25 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 4 Comments
For an organisation with a slogan like “Fight, Produce, Learn”, the ANCYL certainly doesn’t seem to adhere to the “learn” part. For the third time this year, their website has been hacked. Yesterday, a message appeared on the homepage that reads: “HA HA HA. I have a 16 Million Rand house and all of you don’t!!!!”
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Sexwale Slams Malema’s Concept Of Land Redistribution
22 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Tokyo Sexwale made it fairly clear yesterday that the Julius Malema notion of land redistribution is not what he has in mind for South Africa, as Human Settlements Minister. Oh, and he also called Julius a loud-mouth.
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SABC Says It Hasn’t Paid For The Rights To Mandela’s Funeral
22 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The SABC says its own internal investigation has found no evidence to substantiate a news article that claims the broadcaster paid Chief Mandla Mandela three million Rand for the rights to former president Mandela’s funeral.
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Sheryl Cwele’s Salary Reinsated
21 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Wife of the State Security Minister and convicted drug smuggler, Sheryl Cwele, will once again be enjoying her full salary, even though she’s a serious criminal.
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Julius Malema Refuses To Say How He Makes His Money [VIDEO]
21 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 4 Comments
Earlier this week it was reported that Julius Malema was building a R16 million home for himself. And, as if shopping for the right furniture to put inside it isn’t stressful already, he now has to put up with cocky journalists asking him where the money came from. Especially if the answer seems pretty obvious: “It’s a private matter. I’m not a public servant.”
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National Union of Mineworkers Planning A “Powerful Strike”
21 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The National Union of Mineworkers (NUM) said yesterday that workers in the coal sector would go on strike following failed wage negotiations. These are the people that have to make sure Eskom has enough coal to keep on providing electricity to the country. Their bosses offered a seven percent increase, while they thought 14% was fairer.
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Malema Denies Building R16 Million House, But May Still Need To Answer On Funds
20 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Julius Malema has today denied that he is building a R16 million home in the upmarket Johannesburg suburb of Sandown. Rather, he chose to insist, “Instead of being rich, I remain poor but credit worthy.” He declined to give details of his financial interests, saying he was not a public figure, but this may yet backfire on him.
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Cope Founder’s Furniture Attached By Sheriff To Pay Legal Costs
20 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
When Cope founder, Mbhazima Shilowa, named himself president of the Congress of the People, little did he think that he and his furniture would be taken to the cleaners to cover the legal ramifications. Political rival Mosiuoa Lekota won a court ruling last year which prevented Mbhazima from using the Cope president title, and lumped him with an order to pay R72,000 in legal costs.
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Campaign Urges Girls To Strip For Vladimir Putin [VIDEO]
19 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
Russia’s Prime Minister Vladimir Putin seems to be loved by the ladies. So much so that a new online campaign urges young women to take off their clothes in support of his presidency. In this strange video, a sexy blond can be seen scribbling “I will tear my clothes off for Putin” on a white top in red lipstick before starting to undo her clothes.
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Malema’s Panic Room
18 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
Today the DA will ask Sars to investigate the fearless ANC Youth League leader, Julius Malema’s finances. According to the party’s police spokesman, the DA has information that points to Malema building a 16 million Rand mansion, complete with panic room.
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Moscow’s First Sex Museum A.K.A The ‘G-Spot’
15 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
When opening a sex museum in a country where, publicly, sex almost doesn’t exist, you had better make sure that it’s as offensive as possible, since controversy is sure to follow. I’m pretty sure naming it Tochka G, meaning G-spot in Russian, and covering the walls with images of Putin sword-dick-fighting Obama, should do the trick.
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BREAKING NEWS: Rebekah Brooks Resigns After Murdoch’s Daughter, Elisabeth, Launches Scathing Attack
15 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The pressure finally got to the fiery red-headed Rebekah Brooks. In the last few minutes news agency Reuters has officially announced that News International CEO Rebekah Brooks has resigned and will be replaced by Tom Mockridge. This comes after a scathing attack in an apparent four-page letter from Elisabeth, and the second biggest NI shareholder declaring “she has to go.”
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News Host Remembers No Terrorist Attacks On US Soil During Last Bush Era [VIDEO]
15 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Fox News’ Eric Bolling recently decided that one of the guests on his show was being too mean to George W. Bush. So he spoke up in defense of the weapons of mass destruction eff up. Try spotting the slight error in this statement: “America was certainly safe between 2000 and 2008. I don’t remember any terrorist attacks on American soil during that period of time.”
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Zuma Promotes Daughter’s Sitcom On Presidential Twitter Feed
15 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
When he’s not letting us know that he’ll be on holiday, President Jacob Zuma harnesses the power of the presidential twitter feed to promote the dramatic accomplishments of his progeny. Sweet, man. Check out the tweet after the jump.
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Italy Too Big To Bail Out As Crisis Enters ‘New Phase’
14 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
“Italy Too Big to Bail Out as Crisis Enters ‘New Phase’.” That was the headline I read over at Bloomberg earlier. Don’t get me wrong, I know Italy is facing serious problems, but when will they actually get rid of the bungling “bunga bunga” Berlusconi? Today the country has been auctioning an estimated €3 – €5 billion in fixed-rate bonds.
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Syrian State News Agency Photoshop Fail
13 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 4 Comments
According to the Syrian Arab News Agency, Syrian President Bashar al-Assad on Monday “swore” in Anas Abdul- Razzaq Na’em as the new governor of Hama. Later, al-Assad received Na’em and instructed him with his directives, wishing him success in his duties. But was he really there?
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Cape Town Motorists Fear Empty Tanks As Strike Action Continues
13 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Cape Town motorists have begun filling-up their petrol tanks fearing a petrol shortage later this week. This comes on the back of news that about 5 000 Chemical, Energy, Paper, Printing, Wood and Allied Workers Union (Ceppwawu) members in Cape Town have joined the nationwide industrial action. The main march takes place in Cape Town next week.
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Floyd Shivambu Swears At Journalist [AUDIO]
12 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 4 Comments
A journalist had the audacity to call Floyd Shivambu right out of the blue to ask his opinion on reports that Julius Malema had spent roughly R78 000 on a holiday. Shockingly, Floyd answered his phone. Also, he swore at the journalist. Listen to an audio clip of the conversation inside.
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Ugandan Activists Could Be Charged With “Annoying The Person Of The President”
12 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Youth activists in Uganda recently attempted to throw a public birthday party for President Yoweri Museveni. They brought cake, sweets, and mangoes! By doing this, they hoped to focus attention on his disputed age. See, he claims he is 67, but they say he is actually 73. The president took offence and had them and their cake arrested.
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Obama Repeats George Bush’s “Internets” Flub
07 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
We all know that President Obama has paid a visit to the headquarters of “Twitterrrs”, but it wasn’t until yesterday that we learned that, in order for the President to log onto Twitters on his presidential computer, he needs to visit the “internets”.
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Helen Zille: “We Won’t Stoop To Their Level”
07 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Premier of the Western Cape, Helen Zille, co-hosted 2oceansVibe Radio‘s Morning Meeting from 08h00 to 09h00. Helen held no punches, bemoaning the timing of the allegations against Public Protector, Thuli Madonsela, relating her experience of having her phone tapped, and praising the Western Cape for it’s entrepreneurial spirit. And then, of course, there was that […]
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India’s Health Minister Calls Homosexuality A Disease From The West
06 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
While the rest of us have been wondering whether or not people are born gay, India’s Health Minister has know all along: that it is in fact a disease from the West. The only thing he is still struggling with is identifying sufferers from this illness as it is “difficult to find them because you don’t know who is doing it and where they are.”
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Australia’s New South Wales Police Get New Burqa Removal Powers
05 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Yesterday, police in Australia’s New South Wales state were handed more authority to remove burqas and other face coverings to identify potential criminal suspects. The move follows the recent case of a Muslim woman who was acquitted after a judge ruled her Islamic veil made a positive identification of her impossible.
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Judge Nkola Motata Involved In Another Accident
04 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Remember judge Nkola Motata? He got a bit wasted a couple of years ago and drove his car off the road into someone’s garden. He was terribly sorry about it at the time – so sorry that his 12 months jail sentence was upheld. But during “the early hours” of this morning he was involved in yet another accident – this time with a minibus taxi.
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Philippino Mayor Punches Out Sheriff [VIDEO]
04 Jul 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
A female mayor from Davao City in the Philippines has punched a court sheriff, in front of numerous TV cameras, because the sheriff insisted on demolishing 200 shacks despite her request for a two-hour delay. She’s since been told by her husband to take leave for five days while the Department of Interior and Local Government investigates.
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Kim Jong Il’s Son Had Six Plastic Surgery Operations
30 Jun 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Kim Jong Eun is the son of North Korea’s Kim Jong Il. He is destined to rule this nuclear-armed rogue nation one day, but it is said that his dad is rather obsessed with the whole “eternal president” concept. So much so, that he’s sent his son for six plastic surgery procedures to look more like him and his father. See if you can spot the resemblances – I’d suggest starting with the double chins.
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