Here’s a fact about that hamburger patty on your Maccy D’s burger: it does not come from a singular cow named Bessie. Instead, the likelihood of her meat, along with 20 other of her friends all ground up together and pressed into a patty is pretty strong. There’s also the possibility that the butcher might have used chimp meat.
Remember Paul? The octopus who predicted the soccer World Cup results. Well, meet Heidi, the cross-eyed opossum who predicted winners for this years Oscars. She came up one pick sort of perfectly predicting the top Oscar awards. She’s a little bit creepy, but cute.
You’re going to want to have a little look at this. Remember we talked about John Somers’ passionate encounter with Amarula the elephant yesterday? Well, a little earlier I received an email purportedly containing some shots of Amarula, doing his thing as you might say, to John’s new car.
This past Thursday visitors to the Pilanesberg Game Reserve, which is located in the North West province near Rustenburg, were treated to a rather unpleasant experience. The new car that they were travelling in appears to have become the victim of a case of mistaken identity for a large and aroused bull elephant.
You may be aware that there have been Himalayan Tahr’s living on the slopes our beloved Table Mountain for many years. The population has dwindled in recent times, and it was decided to remove all of the exotic creatures for good. However, a have few managed to evade the sniper’s barrel. Until now.
Our friends from the eastern side of the world have long been known to be rather enterprising with the way that they decimate the ocean to sustain their fish needs. A photographer has been able to reveal their latest shocking technique: cyanide poisoning free-divers.
Just when our Australian friends thought that it was safe enough to come out and begin picking up their lives again, another potential deadly threat is poised to strike. This time it’s an aggressive avian, the Cassowary, which may take to wandering urban streets after being displaced by floodwaters.
Hoo ha. I try and avoid playing the ‘hey look something funny happened on the internet’ game with you guys too often, but it’s Monday and this bear unlocked some dude’s car door and “drank 4 beers, ate a bottle of mallox, and crapped all over the place.” That’s special.
So here’s something we don’t normally discuss, in general, but it’s actually really fascinating and I’m sure you, like me, wouldn’t have ever described flies mating quite like this: “They get up to the craziest stuff. Amazing genitalia.” Well, now London’s Natural History Museum has put it out there, so to speak.
With statistics indicating that the average person only stands a ten percent chance of actually surviving an attack by a leopard, Pieta Ncube can consider himself a very lucky man. The 39 year old farm worker was attacked on his bicycle in the early hours of Tuesday morning, but used his bike as a weapon to ward it off.
But obviously that’s not all. That wouldn’t be spicy enough. Apparently The Hawks are also looking for more than 100 live crocodiles which have disappeared from a farm near Ga-Rankuwa, north of Pretoria, a spokesman said on Monday. Steve Irwin would be proud.
The Russian donkey that won worldwide sympathy last July after being forced to parasail has died of a heart attack. The donkey, named Anapka, made headlines when she was attached to a parachute at a Russian beach and launched into the sky for an outrageous promotional stunt. I guess that’s where we’re different, in Russia they use donkeys, and over here we use Trevor Noah.
A 16 500 year-old cemetery was discovered a decade ago in Jordan and some of the findings are very interesting with regards to our bond with domesticated animals. It was discovered that, before cats and dogs, the red fox might have been man’s best friend.
Birds have often attained legendary status amongst their two legged admirers and achieved such feats as drug smuggling and speeds greater than broadband. Now New Caledonian Crows have stepped it up a notch and proven their tool knowledge is possibly a way to beat the I-only-like-shiny-things stereotype they have always been stuck with.
Right, now I’m not really one for social activism, but I have a problem with insecure men with erectile dysfunction killing everything to “get it up”. I’m sure you, like me, despise those who kill rhinos simply to get at the horn, to help the horns of insecure men with erectile dysfunction.
Sometimes an octopus, a psychic german octopus to be specific, captures the imagination of the world. Paul was such a creature, successfully predicting the outcome of eight World Cup matches. Unfortunately little Paul passed away in his sleep last October, but fittingly a monument has been built in his honor, so our childrens children will never forget the clairvoyant mollusk.
Just before the soccer world cup we brought you a story about a deranged restaurant owner in Arizona serving up lion’s meat as a cute homage to SA. Now those yanks are at it again. This time in a different restaurant in the same carnivorous state. They just can’t keep their hands off our cats.
Police in Colombia have detained a pigeon that was allegedly transporting marijuana to a nearby prison. Apparently, some drug barons had strapped a package to its back and released the desperate little guy into the air, hoping that he would fly over the penitentiary wall into the open arms of some prisoners who were in much need of a spliff.
Look, we all knew it was coming. The end of the world might be the original case of not if, but when. The Apocalypse is here, guys. They even made a movie about it with a typo reading 2012 where it should have said 2011.
You also bump into things, talk loud, take swipes at lamp shades and smash your fist through tempered glass when you’re drunk? Well, it’s not because we were simply raised that way. It’s not even the liquor. It’s Drunk Gene.
My, was I surprised by the results when I typed “christmas tree” “tits” into Google Images. There’s one with a guy stealing a tree, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears next to what could be a Christmas tree or just some tree and a card that says, ‘Merry Titmas’. Listen to me rambling on. Why don’t I just show you.
We take a break in our schedule to give you a classic compilation of animals being hysterical. It’s so easy for us, as humans, to mock animals – we’re just so much more advanced than them. I mean, who came up with TV? And you don’t see them driving around in cars, right? God, they’re so thick! No internet for them either!
God, some headlines just write themselves. Happy Friday, by the way. PETA member and Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee has angrily written SeaWorld protesting their apparent use of killer whale Tilikum as a “chief sperm bank,” collecting ‘deposits’ with “a cow’s vagina filled with hot water.” What happened, Tommy Lee? You used to not be crazy.
On the VERY rare occasion, we do tend to these kind of requests and I stress that it should not be seen as any kind of precedent for future ‘Lost Dog’ notices. This is in fact exactly the opposite – a dog has been FOUND and the people who have it are trying to find the owner. I’ll give three EuroMillions lottery tickets to the first person who wraps this up. Click link for details and please respond in the comments section.
The sudden appearance of a crocodile onboard a routine flight in the Democratic Republic of Congo led to the plane crashing, killing 20. Only one passenger survived the crash, along with the crocodile; the crocodile was then killed with a machete. We’re not sure why this movie hasn’t been made yet.
For every cute little kitten, there are at least a million other animals out there that will literally eat your face off. Why? Because nature is an asshole, that’s why. While things like parktown prawns, great white sharks and rain spiders scare the bejezus out of me, they are nothing compared to these 7 creatures that prove that nature hates us and we are all going to die.
Scores of dead pigeons lay strewn across the Table Bay Boulevard in Cape Town on the weekend, metres from the Cape Town International Convention Centre. A report has indicated that while the birds were initially thought to have suffered from a mass bout of the deadly avine Newcastle’s Respiratory Disease (no relation to the mining […]
Oh yes, he’s gone and done it again. In case you missed the previous David Thorne‘s, be sure to catch Party in Apartment 3, Logo Design, the incredible Spider Drawing Emails, Blockbuster Video, Protecting The Community, Nowhere in the Bible Does Jesus have a Sword Fight and Don’t Even Reply. Once you’ve done that, you […]
True 2oceansvibers who are also following 2oceansvibe on Twitter, will know that we indulged in some pigeon for lunch the other day in Menerbes – South of France. It was my first time eating such a small bird (insert supermodel joke here) and I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Here we have our neighbours, […]