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Crime
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Coke Smugglers Simply Love Valentine’s
04 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
If you see powder falling from your roses this Valentine’s Day don’t assume it’s pollen – it’s probably cocaine. Smugglers in South America are head over heels about this time of year when they can hide their product in tons of roses heading for the overseas market. Border Control is trying to keep up but it’s tough – those roses have thorns.
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700 000 Ultrathin Rubbers Stolen
03 Feb 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Well it looks like the new Durex six-pack falls way short for a sexually active syndicate operating in Indo. A group of sex hungry thieves pounced on a container in Malaysia en route to Tokyo, busted the lock and made off with, I would say, more than enough merchandise. Then again, who am I to speak on the libido of people in the Far East?
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Mexican Drug Launcher
27 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
You’ve got to hand it to these Mexican drug smugglers. They spent a lot of time building and testing a drug-launching catapult, only to have the National Gaurd and Mexican cops take it all away from them.
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Breaking News: Mail & Guardian Under Hacker Attack
26 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Nic Dawes, editor of local investigative news publication, the Mail & Guardian, has said that the paper’s website, MG.co.za, is the victim of sustained organised hacking attempts.
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Convenience Store Clerk Wards Off Robber With Samurai Sword [VIDEO]
25 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Because this convenience store conveniently has samurai swords just hanging around, I guess. Hey, you guys saw Pulp Fiction, right? Apparently this robber guy had knocked over fourteen 7/11’s before getting chased around and caught by samurai-wielding store clerk over here.
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America’s Justice System Runs Out Of Juice
25 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Foreigners have been meddling in US affairs again and told them that they’re not allowed to have any more sweets. Except in this case they’re not allowed to have any more sodium thiopental. Sodium thiopental is the drug that US States use to lethally inject their murderers, terrorists and other beastly miscreants, and the US can’t get its hands on any of the stuff.
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New York Mafia Bust – The Best Nicknames
24 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Being the informational leaky sieve that it is, America has blessed us with indictment documents of the 127 New York mobsters who were nicked on the good side of the weekend. The scale of this bust is huge – the largest ever, in fact. But the best thing about this new data is the sublime mafioso nicknames. Check them out after the jump.
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Man Mocked For Farting Wreaks Vengeance
21 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
In a story that I find both tragic and bizarre, 21 year old Marc Higgins from Bristol, Connecticut in the USA stabbed four people, killing one, for laughing at his farting.
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Woman Has Bad Luck: Dogs Shot, Ashes Snorted
20 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
In an incredibly sad an somewhat surreal tale, the life of one Ms. Holli Tencza of Ocala, Florida has been ruined by a trigger happy neighbour and the stupidest criminal to grace God’s green earth.
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French Cult Couple Go Down In A Hail Of Bullets
20 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Let this be a cautionary tale to anyone contemplating joining a mind-altering cult, and subsequently opening fire and mortally wounding police officers. The buddies of the deceased will be pissed, and they’ll try really hard to find you, and when they do, they’re going to take the first chance they get to lawfully shoot you to sponge. Sometimes they skip straight to the shooting.
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Johannesburg Traffic Lights Stripped For Unlimited Phone Calls
20 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
This is sort of cool and sort of awful. Jozi thieves have stripped about 400 ‘high-tech traffic lights’ of their sim cards, modems and GPS systems, using the sim cards to make unlimited free phone calls. It will cost about R8,8 million to replace these fancy, legitimately robot-like traffic lights. Regular GPS-free traffic lights are unaffected.
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Fear And Loathing In Le Sutherland – More Info On The French Cult Killer Couple
19 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Philippe Meniére and his life partner, Agnes Jardel, the French Couple who shot dead one police officer and critically wounded another, are still at large somewhere in the surrounding area of Sutherland. As police continue their search, some seriously bizarre details have begun to emerge about their cult and the 12 years they spent cultivating weirdness on the Karoo farm.
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Monk Grave Digger Caught Smuggling Remains
19 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
This story is sweet and horrific rolled into one. A monk dug up the remains of a nun in Athens and tried to smuggle it to Cyprus to give her a proper burial. He reckons she was a saint. The Greek Orthodox church disagrees with him on that one. They also condemn his behaviour and would like him to stop being a monk for now.
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Breaking News: Shots Fired At St Georges Mall Mr Price
18 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
If shots are going down in the Cape Town City Bowl, it looks like they’re going down at St Georges Mall. Again.
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Audi R8 Car Guard’s Are Facing Fraud Charges
17 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
When deceased property developer and sky-diving enthusiast, Rob Taylor generously donated his Audi R8 to two car guards at the foot of table mountain in January 2010, he probably didn’t bet on those same car guards would have fraud charges brought against them by Taylor’s business partner, and de facto owner of the car.
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Silvio Likes His Girls Not-Barely-Legal
17 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Man about town and real man’s man, Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi is in trouble again. But luckily this time it’s only because he (allegedly) slept with a 17-year-old.
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This Guy Will Murder Daniel Radcliffe One Day
13 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
That’s a pretty big call. I know. Alright then, I’ll hedge my bets. He’ll definitely murder either Daniel Radcliffe or JK Rowling. After long, protracted periods of stalking, high court judgments, and coincidental midnight run-ins on apartment stair wells, this here guy will eventually figure out that he has been jilted. And he will be pissed off.
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Another British Honeymoon Murder
12 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
Strange. We just had one. As sad as this is, this is likely to unfortunately cement in international tourists’ subconscious that old cliche of Africa as beautiful and exotic, but dangerous. On the face of it there are some differences here to the Anni Dewani murder – the victim was strangled, not shot, and it happened in Mauritius, not Gugulethu. Nevertheless, the couple was on honeymoon. The wife got murdered, in Africa.
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Bheki Catches Some Serious Criminals
12 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
South African police commissioner and original gangsta Bheki Cele was really impressed with his police work yesterday when he swooped down from on high in his mighty helicopter.
The target of his wrath was a house in the township of Katlehong, East of Johannesburg, where police minions had found a large arms cache.
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UK Student Hurls Fire Extinguisher At Police From Rooftop – Charged With Attempted Murder [VIDEO]
12 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
UK student, Edward Woollard, has been sentenced to two years and eight months behind bars for violent disorder. What kind of violent disorder, you might ask? The kind of violent disorder that sees you lob a large fire extinguisher at the potentially mushy heads of policemen eight stories below you. And he got very close. Watch the video after the break.
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Acapulco H.E.A.T.
11 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
If you’re planning a trip to Acapulco Mexico in the hopes of getting into the Mexican drug-trade, it’s best that you have a rethink; as it appears that the drug cartels in Mexico really are as horrifically and creatively violent as they are on TV.
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Man Photographs Own Killer Moments Before His Murder
05 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
A Philippino politician may have been among the first people in the world to die in 2011, but that’s not even the most remarkable part of the story. Reynaldo Dagsa of Calacoon City had been woken by his family just in time to celebrate the New Year with them on the street, where fireworks were on display. Moments later, his life ended.
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Kaapse Klopse Chaos – Again
04 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
Umbrellas are flying in Klopse circles about this year’s march not happening when or where it should have. Klopse leaders Richard “Pot” Stemmet (no relation) and Melvyn Matthews – who were once dik pelle in Victor Verster – are now bitter rivals one accusing the other of “selling out to white people”. That last point is a bit puzzling.
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Wikileaks Founder And The Women Scorned
11 Dec 2010 by Seth Rotherham / No Comments
Julius Assange has been arrested and denied bail. Incidentally, it’s the same jail which held Shrien Dewani before he was granted bail. Some of you will be aware that Assange has not been arrested for hacking the US government, but rather sex-related charges. Turns out our boy is a bit of a heartbreaker..
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Shrien Dewani: Basically Game Over, Surely
10 Dec 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 20 Comments
The story broke on the Mail & Guardian, and needless to say, it’s being picked up all over the globe. Police sources in Cape Town allege that there is high resolution, colour video footage of Shrien Dewani handing driver Zola Tongo a bankie of cash in the restaurant area of the Cape Grace Hotel.
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Anni Dewani Murder: The Zola Tongo Indictment
08 Dec 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 5 Comments
For your reading pleasure: The criminal indictment of the taxi driver who has since been sentenced to 18 years in prison for the murder of Anni Dewani. The 32 page document includes allegations of Zola’s employment as a hit man by Shrien Dewani, Anni’s husband. You can download it after the jump.
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Dewani Murder – Feel Free To Roll Your Eyes
07 Dec 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The investigation of the murder of Anni Dewani, a newly married British tourist who was gunned down in Gugulethu last month, has taken a spicy twist this afternoon. Yes, you can all roll your eyes and gesticulate wildly. Feel free to throw in a “I told you so” if you like.
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WikiLeaks’ Assange Arrested In The UK
07 Dec 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Well, well, well. I guess we’ll be seeing that insurance policy of his sooner rather than later. WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange has been nicked in London on charges of “sexual crimes”. The warrant was issued in Sweden. Look, sex, the Swedish, and foreign people almost always leads to confusion.
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The Town That Disney Built Gets Its First Murder
03 Dec 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The town of Celebration, Florida, the Stepford Wives-style community that Miley Cyrus’ parent corporation, Disney, built 14 years ago, has finally entered the big leagues after experiencing its very first, bona fide murder.
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Why Government Wants To Stop Press Freedom
02 Dec 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
It’s no wonder that the South African government, and, by implication, the ruling ANC party wants to pull the plug on Press Freedom and curtail reporting of the facts, dragging the country back into the Dark Ages of Apartheid. Last Sunday’s Sunday Times (UK), listed some remarkable – and appalling – statistics on the members of […]
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