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Crime
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They May Be Drug Smugglers, But At Least They Pay For Parking
13 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The latest in a series of phenomenally creative, Hollywood movie style smuggling stories involves false-bottomed cars, parking meters and a total of 16 tunnels. Of course no one was caught in the act, but if you guessed that the tunnels were supposed to be filled with drugs and some very naughty Mexicans, you’d be correct.
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Facebook Rapist Accused In Court At Last
13 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
You might have seen this face around your Facebook profile the past few weeks, as both police and the South African Facebook community tried to locate “Thomas Bester”, who was sought by police in connection with multiple counts of theft, assault, rape, and at least one murder, following the death of a Cape Town model last month.
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Harry Potter Actor Accused Of Rioting And Growing Cannabis
12 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The actor who plays Vincent Crabbe in the Harry Potter films is now officially the most high-profile suspect to be arrested for rioting in London. CCTV footage shows him destroying public property, carrying a petrol bomb, and stealing a bottle of champagne. Police also found 15 mature cannabis plants in his bedroom when they went to arrest him.
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Goldman Sachs’ Secret £10 Million Christmas Present
12 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
It has been revealed that good old Goldman Sachs received one rather large Christmas present in the form of unpaid interest from Her Majesty’s Revenues and Customs, following a long legal battle over one of the US bank’s tax avoidance schemes.
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Swat Team Seizes 85 Loaded Weapons From Brad Pitt Movie Set
11 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
In another grand display of state the obvious, a brainy police spokesperson pointed out that a collection of loaded assault rifles found on the set of World War Z, were a “disaster waiting to happen”. A SWAT team recently raided the set, which was located in a warehouse in Budapest.
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Iranian Actress Given 90 Lashes For Being In A Mildly Subversive Film
11 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
More specifically, Iranian actress Marzieh Vafamehr was sentenced to 90 lashes for starring in “My Tehran For Sale,” a movie about how Iran mistreats its actresses. The actress was arrested for being in the film – which was never officially distributed in Iran – in July, and her sentence was handed down this weekend.
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Seattle’s Vigilante “Superhero” Arrested
11 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The city of Seattle is home to a prolific self-appointed, and self-styled, crime-fighter. In the manner of Batman (or teen superhero, Kickass), the man who calls himself Phoenix Jones wears a black and yellow mask and a muscle bodysuit, and actually has a side-kick called “Ghost”. Unfortunately, Phoenix was arrested on Sunday for assaulting several people with pepper spray.
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Murdoch And Sons Might Be Voted Off The NewsCorp Board Of Directors
11 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
There is a shareholder advisory campaign calling for the removal of Rupert Murdoch, his two sons, James and Lachlan, and 10 other directors from the board of directors at the next NewsCorp shareholder meeting on 21 October. The radical shakeup would see 13 of the company’s 15 directors removed after the shocking events that took place at NewsCorp.
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America’s Unmanned Combat Drones Infected With Computer Virus
10 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Well this can only end well. The US Air Force’s unmanned combat drones in the “Predator” and “Reaper” class have been infected with computer viruses that they can’t get rid of, in case you weren’t sufficiently terrified of the world when you woke up this morning.
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Britain: Illegal Immigrant Spared Deportation Partly Because Of Pet Cat
06 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
British politics is theatrical at the best of times. They’re dealing with cat-gate at the moment, so it just became even more theatrical. A judge has actually ruled that an illegal immigrant could avoid deportation partly because the judge feared separating him from his pet cat and partner risked “serious emotional consequences”.
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Russia Introduces Chemical Castration For Pedophiles
05 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Pedophilia is a rather serious crime. It hurts those that are most defenseless, and has developed a horrible stigma for anyone that drives an unmarked van. Countries around the world have established various means of combating the crime, including imprisonment and the introduction of sex offender registries. Russia, however, is trying something a little different. The land of vodka, mail-order brides and really cool furry hats has just set the ball in motion to cut off the cause of pedophilia at the source. Castration.
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New Book Claims Puff Daddy Ordered Tupac And Biggie Killings
04 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
A new book by a former Los Angeles Police Department Detective, called Murder Rap, was released today. It alleges that Sean Combs aka Puff Daddy aka Diddy commissioned both the murders of Tupac Shakur and Biggie Smalls. The lyrics to “Every Breath You Take (I’ll Be Watching You)” make a little more sense now.
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Man Caught Smuggling Live Hummingbirds In Underwear
03 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
A Dutch man was caught trying to smuggle more than a dozen live hummingbirds inside his underpants at Rochambeau airport over the weekend. They were individually wrapped in cloth and taped up to stop them from escaping. Airport officials noticed the passenger fidgeting and acting suspiciously, and the man was detained by French customs officers.
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Dewani Extradition Confirmed
28 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The extradition from Britain to South Africa of widower and murder suspect, Shrien Dewani, has been confirmed by British authorities. Dewani now has 14 days to lodge an appeal against the finding. Should Dewani be refused the right of appeal, he will be passed into the custody of South African authorities, where he will await […]
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Vietnam And South Africa Sign Rhino Horn Memorandum
28 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The South African and Vietnamese governments have come together and agreed to sign a memorandum of understanding that will seek ways to stop rhino poaching. Ironically, the Vietnamese officials asked that a domestic medical research institute verify that rhino horn had no medicinal properties, and to make this information public.
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Stop The 21st Century, I Want To Get Off
28 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Imagine being cut off from society for so long that you have no idea how to use a computer, the internet or a cell-phone. Such was the case for Randall Lee Church, a 46-year old Texan who was released from prison earlier this year, and subsequently set fire to a house so he could go back to prison, unable to deal with the stress of living in a society 26-years ahead of him.
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Prime Suspect For Lolly Jackson’s Lawyer’s Murder Also Found Dead
28 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
In another pretty sensational twist in the Lolly Jackson murder tale, the man identified as the prime suspect for killing the late Jackson’s lawyer was found dead this morning. Ian Jordaan, lawyer of the slain Teazers owner, disappeared last week, and the body of suspect Mark Andrews was found in the East Rand earlier today with a gun shot wound evident.
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Texas Turns Down Author’s Offer To Cook Free Death Row Meals
28 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Last week, news broke that the state of Texas had decided to move away from the practice of offering prisoners condemned to execution any special last meal. Ironically, Brian Price, a former Texas inmate who cooked the final meals for inmates, and author of “Meals to Die For”, had his offer of free meals turned down.
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UK Labour Party Wants To Introduce “Journalism Licenses”
27 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Well hey, that sounds at least a little familiar. Ivan Lewis, shadow culture secretary is presently proposing a licensing scheme for journalists at the Labour party conference in Liverpool, which would have the power to prohibit people from doing any sort of journalism – which would have to include tweeting, blogging, and uploading pictures of stuff.
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Hitler Tried To Pin A Speeding Fine On His Chauffeur
27 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
So hey, it turns out that on top of everything else, Hitler got slapped with a speeding fine south of Ingolstadt for going twice the speed limit in his Mercedes limousine. This was about two years before becoming Fuhrer, though, so Adolf got his chauffeur to take the heat to keep from spoiling his image.
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Woman Ties Up Husband And Lorena Bobbit’s His Pinga
27 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
You do not want to piss Catherine Kieu off if you value your manhood! After an argument with her husband about a friend of his coming over to spend the night, she drugged him, tied him up in their bed and cut off his penis.
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Proposed Dangerous Weapons Bill Being Publicly Shot Down
26 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The Draft Dangerous Weapons Bill, published recently in the government gazette, has been taking heavy criticism this morning. With a bit of luck, the badly worded document, which seeks to ban things like toy guns, will have statements like this removed: “…any object that can cause injury or have the ability to take a person temporarily ‘out of action.'”
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Exclusive: First Pictures Of Missing Yacht
26 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
File photo: Sunday Times This weekend, the Sunday Times reported that a yacht, owned by Mmamolanewane Accommodation Holdings had been moved in the dead of night to a secret location. Former MP and the chairman of parliament’s portfolio committee on sport, and current Free State MEC for police, roads and transport, Butana Khompela, is a […]
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Iran Publicly Hangs 17-Year-Old Boy
22 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
While the world fusses over another American execution, Iran has publicly hanged a 17-year-old boy for stabbing to death their “strongest man”. The boy begged for forgiveness and professed he had done it in self-defence, but not even an 11th-hour plea by Amnesty International for a stay of execution could stop it.
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Lolly Jackson’s Attorney Kidnapped And Murdered [UPDATED]
21 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
The attorney of murdered Teazer’s kingpin, Lolly Jackson has joined his former employer in the afterlife, and his transition was exceptionally violent. Attorney Ian Jordaan was allegedly kidnapped, forced to pay R2 million into the account of his abductors, and then murdered. Jordaan’s burnt out vehicle and body were found near Krugersdorp earlier today.
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The Guardian Doesn’t Have To Reveal Phone-Hacking Sources, Yet
21 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
In an abrupt turnaround, the Metropolitan police have dropped their attempt to order the Guardian to reveal confidential sources for stories relating to the phone-hacking scandal. They’d hoped to force reporters to reveal confidential sources for articles disclosing information about the murdered teenager, Milly Dowler, whose phone was hacked on behalf of the News of the World.
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Terrorist Radio Station Giving Somali Kids Guns And Bombs As Prizes
20 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
An Islamist insurgent radio station in Somalia is giving young children weapons as prizes for Quran recitals. It seems they are breeding mini-pirates right in Africa’s back yard.
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Die Antwoord’s Record Label Implicated In Cocaine Ring
16 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Interscope is one of the biggest record labels globally, with artists such as 50 Cent, Dr Dre, Black Eyed Peas, and Die Antwoord. But it would seem they are peddling in more than just music. They have just been implicated in a drug-trafficking bust. Apparently their offices were used as “a transit point for cases filled with cocaine and cash.”
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Trader Single Handedly Costs Swiss Bank $2 Billion
15 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Zurich-based bank, UBS is in the toilet after a very, very naughty little boy or girl engaged in a spot of skullduggerous, unauthorised, and apparently not entirely skillful trading. The cost? A cool $2 billion, and an additional drop of 10% in its share price over the course of today’s early trading alone. UBS had better clench its buttocks. This is going to be a wild ride.
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Man Sidesteps Criminal Charges For 15 Years By Using Father’s ID
15 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Here’s a plan to avoid prosecution – just use your dad’s ID every time the cops come looking for you. It almost worked for Siphiwe Tembe, from Soweto, who was finally arrested yesterday in connection with a murder which dates back to 1996.
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