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Business
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ENTREPRENEURSHIP: QUITE BENEFICIAL IF YOU’RE THE PRESIDENT’S SON
13 Aug 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 5 Comments
I’m just going to put this out there. If your father has political ambitions of the presidential kind, don’t be short sighted and follow him into the vote-collecting game. Go into mine management. It can be very, very lucrative. Ask Duduzane Zuma. But be sure to make an appointment. He may be very busy cuddling […]
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RUPERT MURDOCH AND KULULA ON A LEGAL COLLISION COURSE
12 Aug 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
You may have read on this morning’s spice that Rupert Murdoch has laid claim to the “Sky” in “Skype”, right after Skype announced its plans to float on the Nasdaq stock exchange in New York. The world’s most deliciously-evil media magnate has justified his claim by arguing that NewsCorp derivative BSkyB was established before Skype, […]
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THEY START THEM YOUNG IN PRETORIA
11 Aug 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 15 Comments
In this crazy, crazy world of hyper-consumption, brands are putting a lot of emphasis on consumer loyalty. And the best way to nail down consumer loyalty? Get to your consumer before anyone else does. We all know that the combination of Klipdrift brandy and Coke is quite a big deal north of the Vaal. If […]
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TOP GEAR USA: NOT RIGHT
10 Aug 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 6 Comments
If the original Top Gear is sex, then Top Gear USA is sex with a dead person. Mechanically speaking, you’re doing the same thing, but it’s wrong, and you should never, ever do it, and society will hate you for it, and you’ll always be remembered as the guy who took something fundamentally awesome and […]
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NANDOS CANADA BRAND POSITIONING – QUITE CLOSE TO THE BUTTOCKS
10 Aug 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 5 Comments
Let me blow your mind: Nandos is in Canada. And no, Brandon Huntley didn’t franchise it. Shocking news, ey? I mean, Nandos must surely be as quintessentially South African as KFC, what with it’s Portuguese name, recipes and store decor. Nevertheless, the great chicken company in the sky is downright universal, making an appearance across […]
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THE BOSS EVERY BOSS WISHES THEY COULD BE
06 Aug 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
If you’re in an executive position (as most of you LSM 12-14 vibers will be), then this is the kind of boss that you should aspire to be. Clearly, this man has been taking management lessons from one Seth Rotherham, esq. I mean, look at this company memo. Solid gold leadership, ey? There’s oh so […]
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GORDON EFFING RAMSAY IS GETTING EFFING LITIGATED
05 Aug 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
So we wrote recently about Gordon Ramsay making an ever so slightly unceremonious exit from Cape Town, and specifically, the One & Only hotel. Needless to say, The Big Bad Potty Mouth and his cronies are slightly upset about this. I mean, it must leave a little bit of a sting to be tossed out […]
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THE LANDLORD, FROM HELL
04 Aug 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
Many of us have been in this situation, mostly in our younger years of irresponsibility and fiscal-hedonism. Sometimes, usually around five days into the month, there would be a chilling knock on the door. Instantly, your heart shifts the primary location of its beating from your chest to your stomach. The landlord is at the […]
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GORDON RAMSAY’S EFFING RESTAUARANT, MAZE, SHUTS THE EFF DOWN IN CAPE TOWN
02 Aug 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 10 Comments
When Sol Kerzner enlisted the expertise of the man who is arguably the world’s most popular chef, Gordon Ramsay, he would have felt confident that the star food aspect of his monstrous V&A Waterfront hotel, the One and Only, was buttoned tight. Gordon Effin’ Ramsay opened the five star Maze restaurant at the hotel, but […]
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EVERYBODY HATES JULIAN
30 Jul 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 12 Comments
WikiLeaks founder and destroyer-in-chief of American military credibility, Julian Assange, is not a very well-liked chap. Last week he leaked literally tens of thousands of US Military Afghan War Logs to the press after posting them on WikiLeaks.org. The logs detail the nitty gritty details of the nine-year US occupation of Afghanistan. Assange himself claims […]
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PIGEONS – PERHAPS OUR ANSWER TO IDOLS JUDGES
26 Jul 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
So, some of you may have noticed, some of you not, that the sixth South African season of the least-successfully exported show of all time, Idols, has crawled it’s tawdry way on to our television screens. You have to give it to the Idols producers. They must be rimming someone with a corner office at […]
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CANDICE BOUCHER ON THE COVER OF COSMO
24 Jul 2010 by Seth Rotherham / No Comments
For those of you who needed a reason why Candice Boucher recently posed nude in Playboy Magazine, the answers can be found in the latest issue of Cosmopolitan magazine – on shelves now. I nearly walked into a pole at Woolies yesterday when I saw this on the shelves. I tell you, Playboy or Cosmo […]
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THE NEW AGE – NOT THE HIPPY KIND
23 Jul 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
You ever heard a blogger say, “You want impartiality? Read a newspaper”? Ja, well, if you want impartiality, don’t read a newspaper. At least, don’t read the New Age newspaper. What’s that? You haven’t heard of the New Age newspaper? No, that’s quite alright. You’re not expected to know about it. They themselves confess that […]
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SIMON COWELL SUED FOR BEING NASTY – CUE SURPRISED FACE
23 Jul 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
Simon Cowell is a news maker. He’s made his mark by being the asshole judge on shows like Idols, America’s Got Talent, and Britain’s Got Talent. More importantly, he’s earned the reputation of an asshole who very seldom makes a bad call. So some might regard the man to be evil, others may hold the […]
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THE DUREX iPHONE APP – IF ONLY WE HAD IDEA CONDOMS
22 Jul 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Durex, the international condom manufacturer have, just like every other company with a marketing team worth its salt, developed a snazzy iPhone app. Kudos to them. That said, there are a few interesting things to note in the promotional video. Say, for example, their reasoning that guys don’t use condoms while making the beast with […]
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WHY, AB, WHY?
21 Jul 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 12 Comments
You know AB De Villiers, the South African cricket team’s star batsman? Well, he’s singing now – the recorded kind. And, best of all, he’s making music videos for his moer lekker treffers. In his powerful ballad, titled Maak Jou Drome Waar (“Make Your Dreams Come True), AB teams up with previously obscure but presumably […]
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WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE TWILIGHT BETTER?
20 Jul 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
You know what could have made Twilight (any and all media produced under that banner) better? This could have. But that’s just personal opinion, correct? Well, seeing as the next graphic comes in the form of scientific data, it’s totally irrefutable.
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DAKOTA FANNING IS APPARENTLY NOT A LITTLE GIRL ANY MORE
15 Jul 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 1 Comment
I’m feeling all weird inside as I write this, but it would be wrong not to (write this) as one of Hollywoods youngest starlets, Dakota “The Fandog” Fanning, really is growing up. Sure, she’s only 16, but that’s about 28 in Hollywood years. I mean, if you think about it, Roman Polanski would have had […]
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CZECH PARLIAMENTARIANS ARE HOT, SOUTH AFRICAN MPs NOT SO MUCH
15 Jul 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
Czech it out. Eastern Europe is blessed with public servants who not only do their job, but look great doing it. Good grief. Members of the Public Affairs party will feature in a 2011 charity calendar posing provocatively in revealing outfits. The party’s racy calendar comes after a record 44 women were voted into the […]
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THE HEF IS A GREEDY, GREEDY MAN
13 Jul 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The Hef “Hugh” Hefner, as we like to call him, has lured an equity company to bed, and together they plan on buying out all of Playboy Enterprises remaining company shares in a bid to make things a little more private. Apparently he’s not interested in selling his shares, or merging with other shareholders. But […]
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LIFE AFTER THE WORLD CUP – THE CHICKEN AND THE POTHOLE
13 Jul 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Doctors are calling the syndrome LAWC, or Life After World Cup. Symptoms include being productive at work, not watching SABC, and facing up to the fact that there are still crippling pot holes on most of Johannesburg’s roads. And on that note, this article makes for eleven-herbs-and-spices kind of reading, if you know what I […]
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BEST HEADLINE OF 2010?
12 Jul 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Independent Newspapers [IOL, Cape Times etc] is known for its occasionally obtuse and ambiguous headlines. For example, when more boring news groups might report “TWO MEN ARRESTED IN DRUG BUST”, Independent would probably phrase it thus: “WITNESS FINGERS DRUG LORDS – TWO ARRESTED” Shockingly enough, what I’m about to show you did NOT, I repeat, […]
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HI THERE, CHRISTINA…
09 Jul 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 7 Comments
The winter is getting pretty chilly, I’m not gonna lie. But when Christina’s presenting the weather on SABC3, I get two minutes of summer. Hi there, Christina…
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ACCIDENTAL PENIS
02 Jul 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
As we wrap up this eventful week with the news that Jackie Selebi has been shafted, there’s no better browsing than a bizarre but thoroughly humurous site, Accidental Penis. It’s not the “I was on steroids for five years as a professional woman body builder and ended up with an accidental penis” kind of accidental […]
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WEED LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE – HUH?
02 Jul 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Rosebud, the marijuana lifestyle magazine. The guy in the photo is James Daly, the editor of this new print publication. What’s wrong with this picture? Well, I dunno about you, but that guy seems a little paranoid weary of the camera. But that’s to be expected, because the man is […]
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SOUTH AFRICA’S RON BURGUNDY RETURNS
01 Jul 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Mahendra Raghunath is back at the SABC news room. After a lengthy employer-employee dispute that was sparked by a little alleged insider information trading by Raghunath to a few Sunday newspapers, the SABC has finally caved. South Africa’s favourite mortal news caster (the everlasting Riaan Cruywagen be praised) is soon to be back on our […]
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GRAND DADDY HOTEL DROPS THE BALL – AGAIN
22 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 55 Comments
Remember the “alleged” tale of the Grand Daddy Valet who stole a customer vehicle and rolled it 70 kilometres away in Blue Downs? The Grand Daddy Hotel left a comment on that story. Let’s enjoy it with our morning coffee: A response to this post from the Grand Daddy: It is regrettably true that this […]
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RENT A WHITE GUY
17 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
This is some pretty cool reading for those of you still trying to shake the post-public holiday major Bafana let down cobwebs. If you’re a white guy in Beijing incapable of speaking a shred of Mandarin, you might feel that your employment opportunities are limited. Or you could get off your ass and get paid […]
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PARLOTONES ABANDON SOUTH AFRICA AND SUPPORT GERMANY
15 Jun 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 108 Comments
Product endorsements and commercialisation aside; aligning yourself with another nation and singing for their victory in a tournament which is being held on your home soil (a tournament in which your own country is competing), may well be the final straw for Parlotones fans. “Aligning” might be a bit tame. By the looks of their […]
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“ALSO WE TEND TO SMOKE SOME OF THE GREEN” – AWESOME NEW GUMTREE AD!
09 Jun 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 2 Comments
Much like the hilarities found on Craiglist classifieds websites around the world, our very own online classifieds website, Gumtree, has been known to give us the odd corker from time to time. Take this ad, for example: Hello, So firstly; this room is only available for a female. Sorry guys; it’s already two of us […]
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