Tiffindell Ski Resort Up For Auction
South Africa’s only ski resort is due to go under the hammer in May. The resort was embroiled in a long and shady financial scandal that began in 2007 and was eventually forced to close the slopes indefinitely in 2009. But now you can own it!
Tanzanian Shaman Takes Break, 26km Queue Too Long
The Tanzanian “miracle” pastor, Reverend Ambilikile “Babu” Mwasapile has called for a break. He has temporarily asked people to stop going to his remote home for a “miracle cure” after thousands flocked there, resulting in chaos in the surrounding area.
Nando’s Is Hiring
Always picking up on the nation’s mood, the best in the business have been at it again. There isn’t really much need in beating around the bush with this one. The bushes, quite frankly, aren’t there to be beaten around any more. They have withered and dried.
Cape Advocate Swears At Judge – Full Transcript And Translation Here
Yesterday a little blue bird forwarded us a juicy document. That document is the full transcript of proceedings in a criminal case currently being argued in the Cape Town High Court. The transcript details an altercation between Judge Lee Bozalek and Advocate Nehemiah Ballem. And by “altercation” I mean a verbal smackdown. Enjoy this portion of the exchange.
Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch Is Tanking Pretty Hard
This, apparently, is what happens when you let Zack Snyder write his own script without any male genitalia to jiggle in slow-motion – $19 million on the opening weekend of an $89 million film. This means Sucker Punch opened behind ‘Diary of A Wimpy Kid: Roderick Rules,’ the sequel to a film nobody watched.
Can’t Get A Girlfriend? New Company Develops Virtual Girlfriend For Social Networking
The new platform, which is still currently in its design phases, will allow users to create the perfect girlfriend who will allegedly write on your Facebook wall, possibly tweet sweet nothings at you and keep your virtual happiness in mind using other social media platforms.
12 Year Old Expands Einstein’s Relativity, Thinks He Can Prove It Wrong [VIDEO]
Jacob Barnett has an IQ of 170. According to some, this is reportedly higher than Albert Einstein’s was, although Einstein himself never took the test. Jake is now so far advanced in his Indiana University studies that professors are lining him up for a paid PHD research role. He also finished high school at eight years old.
German Ad Campaign: ‘Sex Is No Accident.’
MTV Germany, which is a thing I didn’t know existed until just now, is trying to spread the word to the masses: there is no such thing as accidental sex, please wear condoms. To emphasize the point, they’ve put together a series of comics in which people accidentally have sex and don’t wear condoms.
Robotic Clouds To Provide Shade During Qatar World Cup [VIDEO]
Not even designers of world class video games have thought of this one yet. I bet the Qatari engineers are hunched up and sniggering through their beards into their cupped, fist-shaped hands right now. Their World Cup is only in 2022, but these guys clearly have the money to blow to make magic. Very Bruce Almighty of them.
Jimmy Manyi To Publish Government Newspaper
The government is going to be launching its own printed propagand… err newspaper, and it will be published by the head of government communications, Jimmy Manyi. Yes, Jimmy who doesn’t like coloured people that much. Basically we shouldn’t get our hopes up and expect much investigative journalism.
Get Me To The Greg Secker Forex Trading Seminar
Forex trading is a way to earn money. Enough money to live the holiday, ergo, not work. Get out of the office, okay? Which is of course desirable because (I needn’t necessarily tell you) you’ll have both the times and the means to do whatever you want. What kind of things might you like to […]
Peta Holds Naked Shower Protest, Causes Car Accident
I know we did this last week, but this is unfortunately the reality of the hour that one officially applies the Cape Town Friday Rule. It’s called habit, and there’s no better way to form a habit other than through repetition. Essentially you should now start embracing everything non work-like, so let’s celebrate with a naked shower protest.
Man Opens Chicken Hotel, No Spice
And that’s an unintentional pun in the headline too in case you were wondering. But, these really are the times that we live in. Now UK residents, Cornwall residents in particular, won’t have to worry about who will look after the chickens if one were to take a holiday or go on ones “gap yah.”
Hippo Scares Grandfather And Grandson Up Tree
This will probably rate right up there with their worst ever experiences together as grandfather and grandson. It certainly wasn’t one of those happy days like you’d see on adverts or in the movies. Although, mind you, I suppose it did start out as an innocent canoe trip which was probably fun for a while.
First Edition Harry Potter Auctioned For ZAR 205K
So Heritage Auctions sold a 1997 edition of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone for $29, 875. A book that you can remember the release of just sold at a rare books auction. You’re Old now. If you can’t remember 1997, please crawl back into the womb.
Zuma’s R200 Million Renovations [UPDATED]
At the beginning of this month a story caught our eye that almost seemed too shocking to be true. We can now happily report back to you that the lunacy surrounding these pricey renovations has been met with trepidation by Public Works Minister Gwen Mahlangu-Nkabinde, and for the most part, been put on hold.
China Tightens Electronic Security By A Whole Bunch Of Notches
If you say the word ‘protest’ too frequently in a cell-phone conversation in Beijing, your call gets cut off. No spice. We have pretty strict phone etiquette policies here at 2ov, granted, but generally we allow calls, once placed, to proceed without Big Brother intervention.
2oceansvibe And New Age Collaborate To Make A Better Media Space In SA
We wrote earlier in the day that The New Age had engaged in a small but embarrassing bout of mistaken identity, having posted a picture of world renowned fashion mogul, Karl Otto Lagerfeld, above a story regarding the appointment of one Karl Otto, esq., to one or other lofty position at the Maritime Authority of South Africa. Enjoy the update after the jump.
Water Soon To Be Subjected To Eskom-esque Tariff Hikes
A report about a month ago attributed that South Africa indeed stared a water crisis directly in the eye. Experts told the inaugural South African Water and Energy Forum in Johannesburg that we even face the possibility of chronic water shortages as early as 2020. Now Eskom-esque tariff hikes loom too.
Karl Lagerfeld Quits Fashion To Head Up The South African Maritime Safety Authority
Don’t know if you caught The New Age‘s recent article about our new pirate tracking satellite service. It seems they believe that fashion designer extraordinaire, Karl Lagerfeld, is heading up the SA Maritime Safety Authority. Something I was unaware of. Follow the link for more.
Google Launches ‘Umbono,’ Cape Town Based Startup Funder
Google has set up the first of its startup-funding offices in Cape Town, under the ‘Umbuno’ flagship. “Umbono” is isiZulu for ‘vision’ or ‘idea’. Google also showed that it knows how to make a girl feel special, saying it chose Cape Town because the city is in “the process of positioning itself as a hub for innovation and technology”.
Removing Gaddafi Not Allowed – David Cameron
On Friday we discussed what the no-fly zone over Libya meant and how it would be placed into effect by the international community. “But the UN resolution is limited in its scope. It explicitly does not provide legal authority for action to bring about Gaddafi’s removal from power by military means,” explained UK Prime Minister David Cameron.
Casey “The Punisher” Heynes Speaks Out
About a week ago a video featuring an Australian victim of bullying, literally body slamming his much skinnier bully into the concrete, did the rounds on the interweb. Casey “The Punisher” Heynes received immediate hero status and has now had his say on events that led up to one of the more memorable fight backs in bullying history.
Smart Wristwatches, Not Just In The Movies
It was a matter of time before the wristwatch had its biggest redesign moment since the croc-like invasion of the big-faced bling disaster that took hold and made hipster fashion designers rich. Smart watches are on their way, but there’s one feature we’d include in ours, if we designed these things, which we don’t.
London Teenager Drops Wii For Gun, Seeks To Join Libyan Rebels
Unfortunately yes, you did read that correctly. Sam, a somewhat timid and reserved 19 year old, is standing up for what he feels is right. He has decided enough is enough and it’s time that he joined the rebel forces on the front line in the Libyan Desert.
The Libyan No-Fly Zone – What It Means
Aside from the shit literally hitting the fan, let’s break this down and look at what it’s going to mean for the nation that is embroiled in one of the worst struggles against a dictator in history.
2oceansvibe’s Overtures To The Mayor Are Snubbed
Hear ye, hear ye! Today is Friday. You know what that means. That means that we knock off at 12h00. Do you know why we knock off at 12h00? Because we’re not lying to ourselves. “I”M NOT LYING TO MYSELF.” You shouldn’t either. No one is working productively after 12h00 on a Friday afternoon. The […]
Quarrelling Begins To Boil Around Mandela Gun Dispute
Described as a holy grail for South African historians, the gun Nelson Mandela buried almost 50 years ago is nowhere near being reunited with its original proprietor. The owner of the property where the gun is supposedly buried, originally part of Liliesleaf farm, is at loggerheads with museum officials representing the Liliesleaf Trust.
Grade 1 Teacher Allegedly Drops K-Bomb, No Spice
A grade 1 teacher from the Orchards Primary School just outside Centurion in Gauteng has been suspended by the schools governing body after pupils claim she called them k*****s. She now also faces a disciplinary hearing next week. Apparently she also called them “black monkeys”. But, has she been levelled with false accusations?
Disgrunted Customer Hires People To Destroy His Lamborghini [VIDEO]
This hurts me somewhere deep inside. A customer disgusted by the poor service at Lamborghini China service station responded to the situation by hiring a mob with sledgehammers to tear into his Lamborghini Gallardo L140 – this, apparently, to draw attention to poor customer service.
