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Business
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Britain: Illegal Immigrant Spared Deportation Partly Because Of Pet Cat
06 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
British politics is theatrical at the best of times. They’re dealing with cat-gate at the moment, so it just became even more theatrical. A judge has actually ruled that an illegal immigrant could avoid deportation partly because the judge feared separating him from his pet cat and partner risked “serious emotional consequences”.
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In Memorium: The Advert That Introduced Apple Mac To The World
06 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
This was the world’s first taste of Steve Jobs’ genius. RIP. Click through for the advertisement.
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Duchess Of Alba Topless Ibiza Beach Photo Surfaces On Eve Of Wedding
05 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
You may recall a previous article on the three-times widowed, fantastically wealthy Duchess of Alba’s proposed remarriage to Alfonso Diez, a man 24 years her junior. I’m pretty sure the last thing anyone (especially her) wanted popping up was a topless photo of that 85-year-old struck match, on the cover of a magazine. Lawsuit, here we come. [No pics. Naughty.]
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Here’s How You Can Wish Desmond Tutu Happy Birthday
05 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
The majority of the furore surrounding the Dalai Lama not coming to South Africa is beginning to blow over, so let’s take a moment to remember what this was all about to begin with – the Arch’s 80th. You want to wish him, don’t you? Have you ever met him? How has he impacted your life? Well, wish him happy birthday, and you could be on CNN for your efforts.
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Russia Introduces Chemical Castration For Pedophiles
05 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Pedophilia is a rather serious crime. It hurts those that are most defenseless, and has developed a horrible stigma for anyone that drives an unmarked van. Countries around the world have established various means of combating the crime, including imprisonment and the introduction of sex offender registries. Russia, however, is trying something a little different. The land of vodka, mail-order brides and really cool furry hats has just set the ball in motion to cut off the cause of pedophilia at the source. Castration.
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Disney Realises People Will Probably Pay To See Other Old Movies Too
05 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Disney’s 3D The Lion King reissue has been topping the box offices for the past two weeks, and netted them a cool $22,1 million over a weekend. So it’s not surprising that somebody in the studio realised that, hey, they have a bunch of other well-loved movies that they could probably re-release and make money with too.
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Doh! The Simpsons Could Be Cancelled Over Actors’ Pay Dispute
05 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
One can understand the anger of Dan Castellaneta (Homer Simpson), Julia Kavner (Marge) and Nancy Cartwright (Bart) when Fox Television explained that they would be receiving a 45% pay cut. The broadcasting network claims they can’t afford production costs and, if the actors won’t budge, they’ll pull the plug. I think I speak for everyone when I say: Fox you, Fox.
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Coke Tries Something New, Replaces Brand Name With Fan Names
05 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Coca-Cola Australia has launched an innovative campaign called “Share a Coke”, by replacing its brand name on its bottles and cans with 150 different ordinary names in the run up to Christmas. They’re hoping it will go “viral”. “Cool”.
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Putin Wants To Put Together An Eurasian Union
05 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Russian Prime Minister and, let’s face it, soon-to-be-President-again, Vladimir Putin has made calls for a “Eurasian Union” as part of his presidential campaign platform. A Eurasian Union made of entirely of former Soviet Union states. Because it worked so well the last time that happened.
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Branson Invests In Pussy Energy Drink
04 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 4 Comments
Pussy, the only 100% natural energy drink made from milk thistle and schizandra is gearing up for a global launch over the next six months with new investors, Holly and Sam Branson joining the brand. Created by British entrepreneur Jonnie Shearer in 2004, Pussy has been a well-kept secret in celebrity circles within the South […]
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NYSE Threatened By Hacker Group Anonymous
04 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
While it might not be doing too well at the moment, the New York Stock Exchange is fairly important. One of the world’s biggest markets, the daily business of the NYSE has been threatened for a while now by the Occupy Wall Street protests. Internet hacker group, Anonymous, has now also jumped on the bandwagon, […]
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Naspers Buys Russian Gumtree
04 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The South African media giant, Naspers, has bought the Russian version of Gumtree: Slando, for an undisclosed amount. The original founders of Gumtree, Michael Pennington and Simon Crookall, confirmed the deal overnight. The site has 11 million users, and has sold items including Stalin’s clothing, a slew of diamonds, a MIG 21 aircraft and one whole oil refinery.
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One Dutch Border Town Takes A Hit For Tourism
03 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
The Dutch conservative coalition government that came into power last year announced plans to fight the massive tourist flow to the country’s coffee shops where tourists and locals alike come together to puff the old magic dragon. However, the Dutch border city of Maastricht has decided to try something different to demonstrate this won’t work in the long-term.
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Re-Make Mondays: Second Verse, Same As The First- Snarf! It’s Thundercats
03 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Growing up in the 80s, there were two things that I would argue to my last breath during little and/or big break. First, red ice-suckers tasted better than green ones, and second, Thundercats was cooler than He-Man. That was basically it. No argument.
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Single Letter Domain Names Bought For Whopping £39 000 At Auction
03 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
In the latest auction by Nominet (a company which runs Britain’s web infrastructure), Facebook, Google and Mercedez Benz were among several big name companies which reportedly bid on single letter web addresses. The auction helped raise £3 million for the Nominet Trust, a charity that promotes safe internet access.
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Did You Catch This Emirates Ad In The Sunday Times?
02 Oct 2011 by Seth Rotherham / 1 Comment
Did you actually stop and focus on this ad in the Sunday Times for Emirates airlines? That is a fine airplane cabin right there, ladies and gents. How’s our boy there? Just quietly enjoying it. And so he should – he’s bloody earned it! God bless him. And God bless Emirates. And that is where you […]
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Is The Kindle Fire Worse Than Facebook And Google When It Comes To Privacy?
30 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Terms and conditions: we never read them, but we know we know should. Here’s what you should know about Amazon’s Fire and the new Silk browser it comes with: they make it clear that the company is entitled to retain your tablet’s unique ID, plus the URL’s of pages you have visited, for up to 30 days.
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Sir Alex Ferguson Buys A Stake In BOS Ice Tea
30 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
We know you love BOS Ice Tea – those trendy, brightly coloured cans of deliciousness – but did you know Sir Alex Ferguson loves it too? The well-known manager of Manchester United has just bought a stake in this very cool South African Rooibos brand. And for a product that only recently celebrated its first birthday, that’s pretty boss.
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Millionaires Club Advocates Struck Off Roll For Fleecing RAF
30 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Remember the Millionaires Club of advocates, who were under investigation for sucking the Road Accident Fund dry? Well those 13 naughty members of the Pretoria bar have been punished for ill-gotten gains. The case, which commenced exactly a month ago in the Pretoria High Court, closed today with six of the lawyers being struck off the roll, and a further seven receiving suspensions.
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Powerful Pre-Trial Letter By Young Offender
30 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
My biggest problem with Mark Esterhuysen is that he has failed at properly explaining to the average Joe why he did what he did. That is a real pity. Robin Henry was sentenced to 12 months of house arrest for smashing shop windows during a G20 summit. The following is a letter wrote, presented in court, to explain his actions. You should read it too, Mark.
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Twitter Shows How Our Happiness Declines Throughout The Day
30 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The study, which took place over a two-year period, is based on a “mood analysis” of some 509 million posts from 2,4 million users. Researchers found that our outlook varies greatly depending on the time of day, the day of the week and the season, with our moods improving as the summer solstice nears and over weekends. So basically it’s a study of what we already know. Kiff.
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China Agrees R19 Billion SA Investment, Dalai Lama Probably Not Coming
29 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Deputy President Kgalema Motlanthe has today told a small news conference that China has agreed to invest approximately R19 billion in investment projects around South Africa. He’s been on a three-day visit to China, and has avoided all mention of the constant South African headache that is deciding whether the Dalai Lama should get a visa or not.
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Facebook Admits It Was Constantly Tracking Users, Calls It “Inadvertent” Error
29 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Facebook has finally admitted that it has been watching the web pages its 750 million members visit. The huge privacy breach was simply a mistake, it says. Software that automatically downloaded to users’ computers when they logged in to Facebook “inadvertently” sent information to the company, whether you were logged in or not.
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Mark Esterhuysen Releases Statement
29 Sep 2011 by Seth Rotherham / 62 Comments
Mark Esterhuysen is the newsreader who was recently fired from Radio 702 for using the F-word 16 times in a news bulletin. You can listen to his moment of madness here. Everything is going according to script so far, with him being fired the following day and then, just last night, he released the following […]
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Rhodes, Tyson And Shakira To Share A House On Reality Show
28 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The Indian game show, Bigg Boss, is comprised of celebrity contestants, and uses roughly the same mechanic as Big Brother. You know, with the “Wizard of OZ pay-no-attention-the-man-behind-the-curtain” voice. Because that happens in reality. Jonty is reportedly pretty keen, because his stint in the fifth show in the series means he gets to see model, Poonam Pandey.
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Vietnam And South Africa Sign Rhino Horn Memorandum
28 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The South African and Vietnamese governments have come together and agreed to sign a memorandum of understanding that will seek ways to stop rhino poaching. Ironically, the Vietnamese officials asked that a domestic medical research institute verify that rhino horn had no medicinal properties, and to make this information public.
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Academics Upset At BBC For Labeling Florence Nightingale “Neurotic And Sexually Repressed”
28 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Two BBC-made documentaries on Florence Nightingale are currently being sold in the UK as teaching aids. A group of academics, however, have called for them to be recalled. They claim these films demean Miss Nightingale by portraying her as “a manipulative, neurotic and sexually repressed woman who inadvertently killed troops during the Crimean War through medical error.”
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Texas Turns Down Author’s Offer To Cook Free Death Row Meals
28 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Last week, news broke that the state of Texas had decided to move away from the practice of offering prisoners condemned to execution any special last meal. Ironically, Brian Price, a former Texas inmate who cooked the final meals for inmates, and author of “Meals to Die For”, had his offer of free meals turned down.
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UK Labour Party Wants To Introduce “Journalism Licenses”
27 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Well hey, that sounds at least a little familiar. Ivan Lewis, shadow culture secretary is presently proposing a licensing scheme for journalists at the Labour party conference in Liverpool, which would have the power to prohibit people from doing any sort of journalism – which would have to include tweeting, blogging, and uploading pictures of stuff.
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Eyewitness News Newsreader Goes Rogue, Drops Multiple F-Bombs During His Bulletin [AUDIO]
27 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 21 Comments
Eyewitness News radio bulletins will never be the same again after one newsreader lost it last night and f-bombed all kinds of philosophies to anyone that was listening to the 01h00 news. Anarchist and environmentalist, Mark Esterhuysen, probably won’t be reading the news anymore. NSFW, obviously.
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