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Uncool
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Heart 104.9fm Presenter Calls Cape Times Journalist A “Cockroach”
11 Nov 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Yesterday the Cape Times reported that the New Seven Wonders of Nature campaign’s organisers stood to make millions of dollars from the global voting. But Heart 104.9fm’s Phat Joe felt that the story was too negative, phoned the journalist who wrote it live on-air, and called her “a cockroach that needs to be sprayed with Doom.”
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Chicken Pox Lollipops For Sale – A Tale Of American Parenting
08 Nov 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
American mother and pillar of the criminally insane community, Wendy Werkit, identified a gap in the junk food market and took a leap of faith. “Why has no one thought of this yet”, she thought, as she put the finishing touches on her Facebook ad. “Fifty dollars isn’t bad for a ‘pox’ infected sucker”, she thought, as her brain fell out of her ass.
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Science To Tear Space A New One With Ultra Powerful “Laser”
01 Nov 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
A new laser is to be built that is as powerful as “concentrating the rays of the sun for the entire earth onto the tip of a pen”. Scientists claim it could allow them boil the very fabric of space, AKA the vacuum. Because that’s a fantastic idea. It is official, mankind has a death-wish.
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School Cleaner Who Rescued Dog From Being Buried Alive Fired
31 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 27 Comments
Bukelwa Mbulawa, a cleaner at Luhlaza Secondary School in Khayelitsha, is an animal rights hero. On realising a stray dog was being buried alive by two colleagues on the school field, Bukelwa called animal welfare organisation International Fund for Animal Welfare (IFAW) to alert them to what was going down. The dog was saved and later called Warrior. IFAW says she’s a hero. But Bukelwa has now been fired.
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Hawk Survives After Being Shot Through Head With Nail Gun
25 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
A red-tailed hawk from the San Francisco Botanical Gardens miraculously survived after being shot on purpose by someone with a nail gun. For almost a week after incurring the injury, the nail extended from its cheek through the front of its head. He was rescued over the weekend and is currently being cared for at the Wildlife Center of Silicon Valley in San Jose.
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Table Mountain And Signal Hill Roads Closed At Night
19 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Sometimes, taking a loved one, or a potential loved one, on a scenic drive and stop-off along either the Table Mountain or Signal Hill roads, is quite a winner. Romantics, be aware, the roads have now been closed to unauthorised vehicles, between 22h00 and 05h00, in an attempt to prevent crimes from occurring around these charming routes.
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Sesame Street’s YouTube Channel Hacked, Replaced With Porn
17 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Sesame Street had its YouTube channel hacked yesterday. For about 30 minutes, videos of Kermit the frog and Big Bird were replaced with hardcore porn movies. Their slogan was also changed to: “Its where porn lives.” As funny as the hackers must have thought this joke was, one has to wonder about the kind of people that would deliberately expose kids to content like that.
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Fashion Designer By Day, Wannabe Superman By Night
14 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Herbert Chavez, a Filipino fashion designer, has taken his love for Superman a little further than most of us could possibly imagine. When I say a little, I mean he’s spent a decade undergoing plastic surgery to make himself look like a feminine Clark Kent. Let’s face it. People are weird.
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EU Bans Young Children From Blowing Up Balloons And Blowing Party Whistles
11 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The European Union has banned children under eight from blowing up balloons unsupervised. Not only that, but it has chosen to ban traditional toys like party whistles, magnetic fishing games and other harmless toys that children have enjoyed for decades because regulators say they’re an unacceptable safety risk. Cuddly toys like teddie bears have also not escaped regulation.
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SABC Spend R20 million On Luxury Vehicles For “News Team”
11 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
The SABC has long ago stopped being anything but a joke, due to mismanagement, scaly news editors, and failure to provide anything decent for us to watch. The latest scandal involving the nation’s broadcaster involves its spending R20 million on luxury vehicles for its “news team” in September.
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Iranian Actress Given 90 Lashes For Being In A Mildly Subversive Film
11 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
More specifically, Iranian actress Marzieh Vafamehr was sentenced to 90 lashes for starring in “My Tehran For Sale,” a movie about how Iran mistreats its actresses. The actress was arrested for being in the film – which was never officially distributed in Iran – in July, and her sentence was handed down this weekend.
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America’s Unmanned Combat Drones Infected With Computer Virus
10 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Well this can only end well. The US Air Force’s unmanned combat drones in the “Predator” and “Reaper” class have been infected with computer viruses that they can’t get rid of, in case you weren’t sufficiently terrified of the world when you woke up this morning.
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Man Caught Smuggling Live Hummingbirds In Underwear
03 Oct 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
A Dutch man was caught trying to smuggle more than a dozen live hummingbirds inside his underpants at Rochambeau airport over the weekend. They were individually wrapped in cloth and taped up to stop them from escaping. Airport officials noticed the passenger fidgeting and acting suspiciously, and the man was detained by French customs officers.
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L-Word Star Thrown Off Flight For Kissing Girlfriend
28 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Wonderful. Leisha Hailey, former The L-Word castmember, was thrown off of a Southwest Airlines flight yesterday for kissing her girlfriend – the flight attendant citing the apparent fact that Southwest is a “family airline.” This is the same airline that booted Kevin Smith for being fat, and Green Day’s Billy Joel Armstrong for wearing baggy pants.
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Black South African Journalist Mistaken For A Drug Dealer In NZ
26 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Vata Ngobeni, a South African rugby journalist, was detained by police in a New Zealand pub last night. According to the officer who took him into custody, he “fitted the profile of a drug dealer.” Ngobeni happened to be the only black person in the venue at the time. He was also the only one that was asked to take a trip downtown. Awkward.
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What Not To Send Your Child To School With For Show And Tell
22 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The mother of a young school child in Missouri has been arrested, following her son’s show and tell day with his kindergarten class. Because, unfortunately, the subject of the little boy’s S&T presentation this month was his mom’s crack pipe.
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Ranger Killed By Colleagues In Anti-Poaching Shootout
13 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The utter tragedy that is rhino poaching hit hardest within South Africa’s wildlife conservation community over the weekend. A top Kwa-Zulu Natal game ranger was killed accidentally by colleagues during an anti-poaching operative on Saturday. The incident, which took place at the Umfolozi Game Reserve in Zululand, has been described as the most devastating event in the history of conservation.
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How Do You Lose 2,500 Guns?
08 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
I was bewildered to hear this afternoon that the Western Cape Community Safety Department managed to misplace more than 2,500 firearms, all within a single year between 2008 and 2009. The department said today, quite rightly, that it was ‘concerned’ that too many police officers were just kind of, losing, their guns.
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Blouberg Oil Spill Has Caused ‘Minimal’ Cost To Wildlife – But It’s Still A Mess
05 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The cleanup of the oil spill at Bloubergstrand continues, and City of Cape Town Disaster teams are still assessing whether the beach can be re-opened this afternoon. The wreckage of the Seli One carrier, which was stranded off the Blouberg coast two years ago, leaked oil onto the beach over the weekend following rough seas.
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This Long Island Art Dealer Stole Banksy Art From Palestine
05 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
I know, I know; can you really steal art from somebody as dangerous and transgressive as Banksy? Two of his pieces, put together during his 2007 project on the West Bank, Bethlehem Santa’s Ghetto, have popped up in a show called Banksy: Original Street Works, at the Keszler Gallery. In the Hamptons.
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Mother Of The Year Blows Weed Into Crying Baby’s Mouth To Help Her Relax
02 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Being a teen mother is tough! especially if you’re also having trouble finding an outfit to wear for later when you go out with your friends. The solution, according to Jessica Callaway from the US, is to blow marijuana into your ten month-old baby girl’s mouth to “calm her down”.
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Woman Forced To Strip In Front Of Colleagues To Prove She’s Female
01 Sep 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Two weeks ago Precious Msibi was forced by her HR manager of all people to strip naked in front of colleagues, including males – during Woman’s Month! The strip was done to “prove that she was female”. After assurances by the police that the guy would be arrested, she claims that nothing has been done so far.
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Facebook Picture By Eugene “Terrorblance” Is Fake
29 Aug 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
A picture of a white guy posing as a “hunter” on his Facebook page next to a “dead” black child has – thankfully – turned out to be a fake. The man who calls himself “Eugene Terrorblance” was apprehended by police in 2007 for this image, but told them at the time that he paid the child to pose as his “trophy”.
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At Least Two Wine Farms Still Use The Illegal Dop Payment System
23 Aug 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
A Human Rights Watch report has discovered that at least two wine farms in South Africa are still using the illegal ‘dop system’ as part-payment for farm workers. The practice was prohibited in 1928, and its poisonous legacy is rooted deep in the social fabric of farm-worker communities in the Cape.
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The Child Protection Register Only Has One Name On It
23 Aug 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
It seems as if there isn’t a day that goes by where we don’t read about some or other sex act committed against a child in this country. But 16 months after its inception, only one person has been deemed unsuitable to work with children and been named on the national Child Protection Register.
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Stupid Tweet About Saturday’s ‘SlutWalk’ Lands Minister In Hot Water
22 Aug 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
Around 2 000 people participated in the Cape Town leg of the international anti-rape SlutWalk campaign on Saturday. Unfortunately, Public Enterprises Minister Malusi Gigaba speculated on Twitter whether he “might get lucky” at the march, in which many women wore deliberately revealing clothing to make their point. Way to go, Malusi.
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Guy Gets Fire Extinguisher Let Off In His Face By London Rioters [VIDEO]
19 Aug 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
CCTV footage caught this video of a guy trying to reason with a group of rioters in London last week. The 10 or so yobbos were busy robbing a shop in Clapham Junction when he walked by and tried to stop them. For his troubles he got a fire extinguisher unleashed in his face.
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Injured Motorcyclist Dies After Being Driven Over By Ambulance
18 Aug 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
This sounds like a scene from one of the Final Destination movies! Michael Colley, a motorcyclist from the UK, was knocked out after coming off his Suzuki GSXR. Two motorists saw this, got out of their vehicle and tried to stop an ambulance that coincidently happened to drive past. Yes, that very same ambulance from my story headline.
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That Amazonian Tribe That Was Contacted For The First Time This Year Has Been Attacked
10 Aug 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Earlier this year 2oceansVibe reported about a tribe in western Brazil, living some 50 kilometres from the Peruvian border, that had until then, not been contacted by modern man. Sadly the tribe has gone missing after drug traffickers overran Brazilian guards posted to protect the area around which the tribe was living.
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South Africa Is The Strike Capital Of The World
10 Aug 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Nice one, guys! South Africa has the highest rate of strikes in the world, a labour analyst said yesterday. We’ve had 1 000 working days per 1 000 workers lost in 2010 – and it is expected to be even worse at the end of this year.
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