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Uncool
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GRAND DADDY HOTEL DROPS THE BALL – AGAIN
22 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 55 Comments
Remember the “alleged” tale of the Grand Daddy Valet who stole a customer vehicle and rolled it 70 kilometres away in Blue Downs? The Grand Daddy Hotel left a comment on that story. Let’s enjoy it with our morning coffee: A response to this post from the Grand Daddy: It is regrettably true that this […]
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JUST A SPOON FULL OF SUGAR MAKES THE MUTI GO DOWN
21 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Bafana Bafana needs a lot of help to get through to the next round of the World Cup. Some might even say they need a miracle. Others, however, might say that that all they need is a little muti (traditional medicine). Our favourite news service, the foul-mouthed News24, came up with this gem of a […]
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SOMALI FOOTBALL ENTHUSIASTS HAVE IT TOUGH
17 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Most of us, myself included, are basking in self-pity following last nights ill-fated football escapades involving one Diego “Satan” Forlan and Bafana Bafana. But let’s cheer up, folks. No one’s slaughtering us on our living room couches for actually watching the game. Not like in Somalia, anyhow. Two Somali football fans were leaded where they […]
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DON’T MESS WITH FIFA’S 1000 YEAR REICH
15 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
A great deal of fuss has been made by FIFA regarding the sanctity of its brand, and the brands of its official partners in the run up to the World Cup. A great deal of counter-fuss has been made by the brands who were left outside of the World Cup money machine fraternity. So it’s […]
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BREAKING NEWS – ITALIAN RESTAURANT ON FIRE, ITALY NOT SO MUCH
15 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
Mario’s, a popular Italian restaurant on Main Road in Green Point is on fire, and not in the positive, figurative kind of way.
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JOBURG MINE HOUSE DIGS A PORTAL TO HELL
14 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
If you, like me, are something of an amateur (read: ignorant) economist, then you’ve probably wondered on occasion why gold is so friggin expensive. Part of the answer is definitely due to the fact that mining houses share their office space with Satan and his cronies.
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HOW TO GET MURDERED SHA’P SHA’P THIS WORLD CUP
09 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The Soccer World Cup will attract some 350 000 foreign visitors our shores. Most of them are already arriving, and you can bet they’ll be bringing their national idiosyncrasies with them. Today, we offer a sincere prayer that no fun-loving Dutch fans bring this quirky bit of fan paraphernalia with them, or they WILL be […]
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IT SUCKS TO BE McHOMELESS
07 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
According to a report by Shanghai’s Southern Weekly, the southern Chinese city has a bit of a McProblem. And that would be the McRefugees. It’s a pretty heavy vibe.
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THE SMASHED FERRARI QUOTE – JOHANNESBURG
01 Jun 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 13 Comments
They say the sight of a smashed up Ferrari can break a man. This may be true, but I think the sight of a repair bill can be even worse. Especially for a big accident. Especially when it’s a Ferrari. Like this Ferrari, for example: 1 X whoopsie That was sent in by a few […]
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“INTRIGUING” IS ANOTHER WORD FOR “WEIRD”
21 May 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Sorry about that, it’s kind of bright, I know. As you can see, London have gone for a bit of an intriguing vibe for their 2012 Olympic logo. And by intriguing, I might actually mean, “epilepsy-inducing”. So, in a intriguing strange kind of way, it’s kudos to London’s Olympic organising committee (queerly named Locog) for […]
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SAVE YOUR CHILD FROM A LIFE OF LAME
20 May 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Everyone knows how cut-throat childhood can be, right? The playground politics, the snide remarks, the vengeful love triangles, the grief-induced crayon-eating binges. Right? Well, maybe not me. Know why? Because when I was a kid, my parents made damn sure that their offspring would never, ever, have the label “loser” pasted on them. How did […]
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US NEWS STILL FAILING AT GEOGRAPHY
18 May 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
With the Soccer World Cup just 24 days, four hours and 20 minutes away, it’s so comforting to know that our beloved RSA is getting the accurate international press coverage that we deserve. I mean, take this, for example, courtesy of Chicago’s WGN news.
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SKYROVE SHOWERS ITS BLESSING ON CAPETOWN
30 Apr 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 37 Comments
See, we told you it was the era of the instanet. Mweb offers cheap uncapped ADSL, and all of a sudden businesses everywhere are freaking out, losing their heads in acts of reckless generosity as they bring South Africa up to speed with the global village. Like Skyrove, who’ve gone and hooked Capetonians up with […]
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2OCEANSVIBE CLOSES IN 389 DAYS
27 Apr 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Are YOU ready? If you’ve been toying with the idea of defaulting on your home loan or joining a Russian acrobat troupe for a while now, go for it. Last week, students on UCT’s upper campus were the victims of random and ferocious pamphlet bombings by people wearing “May 21, 2011” T-shirts. Naturally lured in […]
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GOOGLE WILL NOT ASSIST YOUR SUICIDE
13 Apr 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 4 Comments
There are a number of ways to kill oneself and it makes sense that people would have a squizz in Google to find out the method that best suits them. Not me, I know the vibe I would go for if everything went tits up – the classic hosepipe from the exhaust into the car […]
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CAN I GET…
16 Mar 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 10 Comments
We may have a problem, people. If you go to the South African Google home page and start typing the words “Can I get,” you will notice the predictive search phrase options begin to appear beneath the search box into which you type. Given that these solutions/results are ranked according to the topic’s popularity, I […]
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SAMPRAS AND AGASSI HATE EACH OTHER
16 Mar 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 6 Comments
God, how emboerrissing! “Pistol” Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi ended up at each other’s throats during a Haiti charity event in California this weekend. 16,000 people turned up to support the action, which included a doubles match with Pete Sampras and Roger Federer on one side, and Andre Agassi and Rafael Nadal on the other. […]
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“DARNELL INTERNATIONAL” SLAPS US WITH A LAWYER’S LETTER
05 Mar 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 40 Comments
Quite happy to have their two cents featured in the comments section of the “defamatory” articles we wrote, Darnell International have involved their lawyers and are now demanding that the articles (here and here) be taken down. Here is the letter from Darnell’s lawyers: Click image to enlarge letter The fact that it is number […]
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LONDON PRAWN ATTACK
02 Mar 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 4 Comments
England rugby international, Stuart Abbott MBE (2oceansvibe Character, The Inside Centre ) is very knowledgeable in the way of the prawn. Having lived in both Cape Town and London for many years, he can spot them a mile away, especially when it comes to the bad habits they exhibit, without a care in the world […]
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WHY DON’T YOU SAY WHAT YOU REALLY MEAN?
02 Mar 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 14 Comments
You know the iStore article? the one that comes up number 1 in Google if you search for “istore waterfront.” Ja, well, as you can imagine, people stumble upon the article the whole time, even though it was written a year ago. As a result, the article generates constantly fresh comments – usually to do […]
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DUBAI MALL SHARK TANK CRACKS – MAYHEM!
25 Feb 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 2 Comments
A movie script of this nature would never get passed as it’s just not that believable. Well, believe it my friend! This has just happened! Dubai, the global symbol of greed and the embodiment of karma itself has been dealt another blow, this time in the form of a leak – in the Dubai Mall’s […]
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THE GRAND FINALE? AS CAPE TOWN’S “THE GRAND CAFE” RESTAURANT COMES UNDER FIRE
23 Feb 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 32 Comments
The Grand Café hit the scene a few years ago, after the building it occupies sold for a record sum. The Camps Bay strip welcomed them in place of the abortion that was Opium – giving us an upmarket dining alternative (if you must consider any of the other “upmarket/fine dining” alternatives in Camps Bay). […]
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HOW TO BLOW R100 MILLION
22 Feb 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 1 Comment
Wonderful individual we have here before us. One Michael Carroll, of Norfolk, UK, won 9.7 million Pounds in a European lottery. The former dustman blew the lot, since the 2002 windfall. It’s a stunning path of destruction which ended with Michael currently putting his mansion on the market to scrape up some change – for […]
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BRENDAN FRASER KNOB-END REMIX
11 Feb 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 5 Comments
I watched about 10 minutes of the Golden Globes the other night and, just before I tuned out, I remember catching a shot of annoying actor Brendan Fraser, clapping and carrying on like a lunatic. “What a knob-end,” I thought to myself, as I flicked the station. That was the end of that and I […]
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ANOTHER CAR GOES OFF THE EDGE NEAR LLANDUDNO
26 Jan 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 19 Comments
These guys might want to address whatever it is that is making cars swim, instead of drive. This morning’s incident was very similar and in nearly the same spot as the one that occurred eight days ago (here). Here are pics of this morning’s plummet. Good grief! I hope everyone is ok.. Seriously guys, what’s […]
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IT JUST TAKES ONE
13 Jan 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 12 Comments
2oceansvibe’s disdain for cycling fraternity’s need to expose their balls (especially when there are children around) and wear their cycling helmets in and around public retail outlets is well documented. It comes as a surprise to see that surfers are falling into the same public disgrace trap. SURFERS! Of all people! I was under the […]
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FLOYD SHIVAMBU IS STOKED ABOUT HIS NUMBER OF “FRIENDS” OF FACEBOOK
12 Jan 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 9 Comments
The ANC Youth Leagues Spokesperson, Floyd Shivambu’s antics are well documented, here on 2oceansvibe. To refresh your memories, Floyd is the one who got grilled LIVE on Redi Direko’s Radio 702 show, following his comments that Helen Zille was “sleeping around.” Floyd Shivambu is also the one with his own website which, unbeknownst to him, […]
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LOCAL TRAVEL AGENT GETS NAMED AND SHAMED ON INTERNET – INCLUDING PHOTOGRAPHS AND PRIVATE DETAILS
07 Jan 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 28 Comments
A new website, by the name of www.stephaniekohler.co.za has gone viral in South Africa’s Twitter universe. From what initially like someone’s own personal webpage, the person to which the domain name refers, “Stephanie Kohler,” has nothing to do with the website whatsoever, other than being the target of an online attack. Retribution for alleged fraudulent […]
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MASSIVE BIG CONCERTS BACKLASH, FOLLOWING THE KILLERS CONCERT AT VAL DE VIE
09 Dec 2009 by Seth Rotherham / 65 Comments
A combination of emails I have received, as well as the responses (comments) to the brief 2oceansvibe review of The Killers concert, suggests an overwhelming negativity to the way in which Big Concerts organised the event. OR THIS ONE They (Big Concerts) obviously received the same backlash, as they felt compelled to release the following […]
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TIGER WOODS VOICEMAIL TO ALLEGED MISTRESS, JAIMEE GRUBBS
02 Dec 2009 by Seth Rotherham / 2 Comments
So as I said a couple days back, all these ex-flings of Tiger’s are starting to come out of the woodwork, following his bizarre car accident outside the front of his home (which including his wife “rescuing him by smashing the back window of the car with a golf club). Some of them are obviously […]
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