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Mind Fuck
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The Future Is Creepy: Now With Prosthetic Tentacles!
09 Dec 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
On the whole, I am a fan of living in the future; video-phone calls, makin’ sheep immortal, that whole schtick. Except every now and then, slightly disturbing developments crop up, and I’m forced to consider a future where this is much wailing, gnashing of teeth, and zombies. Case in point: you can replace missing arms with robot tentacles.
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Julian Assange Is Worse Than The Klu Klux Klan
08 Dec 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
PayPal, the online payments service that recently bitched out and froze the account of Wikileaks, citing terms of use violations completely unrelated to the recent US diplomatic cables leaks, has some interesting clientelle that it hasn’t dropped yet – the KKK, for instance.
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Singapore Confirms That Banana Hammocks Are Undignified
30 Nov 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Singapore’s national water polo team is in a bit of trouble with the Ministry of Information, Communications and the Arts for their latest uniform design – which places the crescent moon and stars from the Singaporean flag right about where a crescent-moon-shaped part of the anatomy would be if they weren’t wearing anything.
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Monday Morning Badvertising – This Time From France!
29 Nov 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
I don’t understand this. At all. I mean, I’m tempted to just leave this here and let you guys draw your own conclusions, but I feel like you’re owed some kind of explanation. Which is unfortunate, because I have nothing for you. Sexualized CGI animals. Using Orangina as a household product. In France.
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Inventor Crossing UAE In Solar-Powered Wheelchair To Prove Some Kind Of Point
23 Nov 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
Inventor Haidar Taleb is hitting two birds with one stone, sort of, by crossing all seven United Arab Emirates in a solar powered wheelchair to promote the use of renewable energy and raise awareness about causes for disabilities. Also, he’s going alone. And you can’t drink in most of the Emirates. And it’ll take 11 days. Road trip!
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Another Creepy Japanese Thing: Holographic Concerts
17 Nov 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Hatsune Mikue is an apparently ‘realistic’ holographic singing idol, massively popular in Japan. ‘Sure,’ you might say to yourself, ‘I’m big in Japan too,’ to which I say shut up, that wasn’t funny when your dad said it thirty years ago either. A thing that isn’t real sold out a 25,000-person stadium. This is how the world ends – with hologram designed by a company called ‘Crypton Future Media.’
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Take That, Old Spice: Fat People Smell Better
16 Nov 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Wait, no, that’s not right. People who are overweight have a better SENSE of smell. In the continuing search for the real cause of obesity, researchers at the University of Portsmouth have established a correlation between obesity and heightened sense of smell. Presumably those who can smell the bacon first get the bacon first.
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Great Job, Freedom Of Speech: Man Convicted For “Menacing” Tweets
12 Nov 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Paul Chambers, a 27-year-old UK accountant has been charged with and convicted of making “menacing” Teets. He had hoped that the case would be dismissed as the stupid prank that it was – and angled for a knocked down £1,000 fine. Instead, Judge Jacqueline Davies had his appeal dismissed on every count. Sorry, what?
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New Japanese Robot Creeps Everybody Out
28 Oct 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
It took me an embarrassing amount of time to figure out that the lady on the left is a robot. It’s the futuristic version of accidentally chatting up a mannequin, except like a million times more unsettling. Because mannequins don’t have powerful robot arms that can crush a man.
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Quidditch Now A Real Sport; Writer Too Astonished To Joke About It
26 Oct 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
‘Muggle Quidditch:’ A bunch of dudes and ladies run around in capes and goggles with broomsticks between their legs while throwing balls at mounted hoops. This is an official sport, with a World Cup in November. Feel free to take a moment to weep now.
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New Zealand Clings To Its Rich Fantasy Life
26 Oct 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Thousands of politically-minded Kiwis have come out in protest to prevent production of the Lord of the Rings prequel, The Hobbit, from moving out of New Zealand. I understand completely – I went through the same thing when my parents made me stop wearing my wizard outfit to school.
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Crocodiles On A Plane
22 Oct 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
The sudden appearance of a crocodile onboard a routine flight in the Democratic Republic of Congo led to the plane crashing, killing 20. Only one passenger survived the crash, along with the crocodile; the crocodile was then killed with a machete. We’re not sure why this movie hasn’t been made yet.
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Dating Site For Virgins Totally Misses The Point
20 Oct 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Online dating is a wide field; you can go out trawling for cougars, swingers, or partners with a little extra meat on ’em. And now virgins can find other virgins, in what is presumably an attempt to kill two birds with one stone.
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Is The D’oh Catholic?
19 Oct 2010 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The Simpsons have been hiding a religious agenda, apparently. Sunday’s edition of L’Osservatore Romano, the Vatican’s daily broadsheet, declared that ”Not many people know it, and he does everything he can to hide it. But it’s true, Homer J. Simpson is Catholic.” I guess drawing conclusions from nonexistent evidence isn’t entirely new to the region.
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WATCH THE DRUMMER – HE IS AWESOME!
07 Jun 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 2 Comments
When you’re done checking out online casino reviews, you might want to tweak your internet experience and take a look at this. I can’t really put it into words, but I’m pleased to say this video says enough. Hows our boy on the drums? CLICK HERE for video Oh yes. With treats like this along […]
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HOW IS THIS JOURNALIST’S NAME POSSIBLE?
26 Mar 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 1 Comment
Surely not? It’s.got.to.be.a.joke?! Seriously – are you winding me up? [source : timesuk] [thanks brendon]
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“DARNELL INTERNATIONAL” SLAPS US WITH A LAWYER’S LETTER
05 Mar 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 40 Comments
Quite happy to have their two cents featured in the comments section of the “defamatory” articles we wrote, Darnell International have involved their lawyers and are now demanding that the articles (here and here) be taken down. Here is the letter from Darnell’s lawyers: Click image to enlarge letter The fact that it is number […]
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DAVID GRIER KEEPS PUSHING THE BOUNDARIES
03 Mar 2010 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
My buddy David Grier is in the mix again – and this time is slightly different to his earlier vibes, when he completed the first ever joint continuous run of the Great Wall of China, some 4000km in 98 days. Ja, I thought that might refresh your memory! So check this out – he’s taking […]
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HOW TO BLOW R100 MILLION
22 Feb 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 1 Comment
Wonderful individual we have here before us. One Michael Carroll, of Norfolk, UK, won 9.7 million Pounds in a European lottery. The former dustman blew the lot, since the 2002 windfall. It’s a stunning path of destruction which ended with Michael currently putting his mansion on the market to scrape up some change – for […]
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LOCAL TRAVEL AGENT GETS NAMED AND SHAMED ON INTERNET – INCLUDING PHOTOGRAPHS AND PRIVATE DETAILS
07 Jan 2010 by Seth Rotherham / 28 Comments
A new website, by the name of www.stephaniekohler.co.za has gone viral in South Africa’s Twitter universe. From what initially like someone’s own personal webpage, the person to which the domain name refers, “Stephanie Kohler,” has nothing to do with the website whatsoever, other than being the target of an online attack. Retribution for alleged fraudulent […]
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KID ROCKER
29 Dec 2009 by Seth Rotherham / 1 Comment
It’s one thing if a kid grasps music or gets the rhythm of a song. But it’s something quite different when one finds a very young kid who genuinely FEELS a song and proceeds to rock out like a fully grown front man. You need to see this to believe it! CLICK HERE to play […]
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WEMBLEY SQUARE LOSES ITS ROOF + EXTENSIVE PICS OF CAPE TOWN’S WIND DAMAGE
14 Dec 2009 by Seth Rotherham / 5 Comments
Most Capetonians will know all about the radically powerful wind that was blowing on Sunday. Whilst the Safe House stood strong and came out the other side unscathed, the same can not be said for Wembley Square – the Faircape development in Gardens. Roof sheeting on the road from Wembley Square’s roof (left) The roof […]
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MAN RISKS LIFE ON BACK OF TRUCK
12 Nov 2009 by Seth Rotherham / 9 Comments
Sorry, I beg your pardon, did you say that you’ve “seen it all?” This, sent in by Warren H: NOW you’ve “seen it all” Surely it wouldn’t be great if that thing hit a big bump? More importantly, did he think no-one would see him? Check out these pics and you’ll find that the cops […]
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GET ON MY HORSE
19 Oct 2009 by Seth Rotherham / 3 Comments
There is no ways in hell that you have EVER seen ANYTHING like this in your life. Never ever. Fact. Seriously, this guy’s horse is amazing. You should get on his horse. It can turn into a plane and he’ll take you around the universe. Sipping on lemonade.. Click the link below. Getonmyhorse.com I’m absolutely […]
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NEWS24 PRINTS THE WORD “CUNT”
11 Sep 2009 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
Well, I tell you what, it’s a BIG moment for South African media. While 2oceansvibe isn’t shy to throw around the odd “shit” here and the odd “fuck” there, I don’t think we have thrown around the “C” word for a number of years. News24, have obviously decided to up the ante by happily publishing […]
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MY “YOU MAGAZINE” ISSUE IS CAUSING A BIT OF A STINK OVERSEAS
08 Sep 2009 by Seth Rotherham / 15 Comments
It goes without saying that the 10 September YOU Magazine issue which featured yours truly (on page 130) is causing absolute mayhem overseas. No, no, not because of me, but rather the fact that it features Caster Semenya. YOU Magazine decided to gave her a make-over, after the controversy surrounding her gender. This, from the […]
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KIDNAPPED GIRL FOUND 18 YEARS LATER
28 Aug 2009 by Seth Rotherham / 6 Comments
After kidnapping her 18 years ago, Phillip Garrido kept Jaycee Dugard in his backyard and fathered two children with her. Garrido is a convicted sex offender and suddenly, out of the blue, walked into a California police station with the victim by his side. He told authorities that God had spoken to him. Obviously. This, […]
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A GIFT TO AMERICA
24 Aug 2009 by Seth Rotherham / 1 Comment
Do you know about Mpho Gift Ngoepe ? Gift is a black Sotho tribesman from South Africa who literally grew up in a South African club baseball team’s clubhouse (his mother was/is their caretaker) and made his way to America. He has also just been featured in the US Sports Illustrated. This, my friends, is […]
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I WAS TAKEN TO A PORN COMPANY IN L.A.
17 Aug 2009 by Seth Rotherham / 2 Comments
As you know, I was working with Pauly Shore for the last few weeks in Hollywood – bringing you the 2oceansvibe Pauly Shore Zinzi Series . The show documents 27 year old Zinzi’s visit to Hollywood, on an adoption trial run with Pauly. As you can imagine, it’s been a pretty crazy time. Some of […]
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STICKY NIPS – LET’S HAVE THAT CHAT
17 Aug 2009 by Seth Rotherham / 3 Comments
Jennifer Arniston (yes, I know, but it’s better that way) was recently spotted looking somewhat nippy. This pic was taken within the last fortnight. Perky Perkster That pic reminded me of an ad I saw on the euronet about an ingenious product for women who might be lacking in the “perky” department. And […]
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