Takes it to a whole new level
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The Insurance Broker slept over at The Safe House last week and, given that we had both attended gymnastics that day, we ordered pizza. I called Butlers Pizza and before I hung up they asked me to confirm that I only wanted a driver with over 1,000 "missions" (deliveries) to bring the order. "Obviously," I confirmed. Christ, we haven't quite forgotten our little nightmare last time with Ed, have we?

Thirty minutes later the doorbell rang. It was "Dave" from Butlers. I asked through the intercom if the driver had over 1,000 missions. "Oh yes," he replied.

I buzzed him in.

From his initial greeting to the way he took the pizzas out of the bag, you could see this kid was a seasoned professional. There were no mistakes. It just shows how important it is to avoid rookie Butlers. This guy even knew never to turn his back on Daddy Cool, and walked backwards, mid-bow, out of The Safe House.

"Impressive shit!" exclaimed The Insurance Broker as I closed the door.

"Fucking BIG time," I agreed as I picked up the bill to see exactly how many missions he had done.

Well fuck me sideways! Take a look at this!

Let's get you zoomed in a bit there...

Chew on that for a second!

Well it all just made sense. Dave had over 6,000 missions under his belt, ahem...cumberband. At an average of, let's say 10 missions per night, that's like working every day for nearly two years. It's pretty impressive but in my days they didn't have anything to record how many missions we had done. Martin Cummerford would have probably creamed these guys...

Well done, Dave - let us know when you get to 10.
 

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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