PRESS RELEASE Pyongyang (and maybe Cape Town, too), KCNA.

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With the Soccer World Cup just 24 days, four hours and 20 minutes away, it’s so comforting to know that our beloved RSA is getting the accurate international press coverage that we deserve. I mean, take this, for example, courtesy of Chicago’s WGN news.

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Besides being at the age where his main desire should be trying to play online bingo for free, KISS bassist and all round grand daddy of rock, Gene Simmons, was recently accused of dry-humping an ESPN make-up artist, as some of you may have heard. After said make-up artist demanded $185 000 from Gene for […]

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The South Africa Police Service – a bastion of efficiency, and relatively humourous accents. Ever tried calling 10111? No answer, right? Exactly. Because every South African police service man or woman is out on the STREETS. Bam. Chew on that rubber bullet, critics. But in all sincerity, we’re pretty lucky to have a decent police […]

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Got a little cash lying around lately? Maybe you came into a small tax windfall, or scooped an inheritance lump-sum (my condolences). Or maybe you’re a cocaine drug lord with a pile of money as obscene as your company’s human resources manifesto. You’re gonna get the itch to blow all that nose candy profit on […]

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Morning boys and girls. By golly, do we have some fun for you this morning. Ever been the victim of camera theft? Ever thought a retrieved photo of your sun burnt gluteus maximus might pave the way for you recovering your camera? Well, you can think it now. We got this email from a truly […]

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If you get a suspicious email from someone named “Mike” in reply to an advert you posted online, DON’T EVEN REPLY. That is, of course, unless you want the world to laugh at your expense. A sort of consumer-watchdog version of our beloved David Thorne‘s 27bSlash6.com, DontEvenReply.com is subtitled “Emails from an asshole”, and is […]

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So the poster for 50 Cent’s new movie is out. Before I say anything, I think it’s best if you just bask in its glory. It’s almost too beautiful for words. I’m having trouble breathing. “One gun, many lives lost.” GUN. Like, singular, right? You think maybe the one on the left is called Gun, […]

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See, we told you it was the era of the instanet. Mweb offers cheap uncapped ADSL, and all of a sudden businesses everywhere are freaking out, losing their heads in acts of reckless generosity as they bring South Africa up to speed with the global village. Like Skyrove, who’ve gone and hooked Capetonians up with […]

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Our more trippy readers might know that the Afrika Burns festival, South Africa’s newest excuse to get totally baked in the desert, wrapped up on Tuesday after five brightly-coloured days of parallel universes, flying dragons and fire. And lets not forget the odd bout of “let’s chain the 11 year olds to the front of […]

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On Tuesday, while millions of South Africans were celebrating Freedom Day, Ukrainian parliamentarians were expressing patriotism for their country by throwing eggs at the speaker of parliament, detonating smoke bombs in the upper chamber, and generally engaging in fisticuffs. As you’ll see in this video, the jolly lawmakers are engaged in the ancient Ukrainian tradition […]

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Apparently, if you were ever looking to sell your soul, the Devil would be the guy who might put in an offer. In that case, we’d like you to meet Satan himself: Nice shades, Satan

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Are YOU ready? If you’ve been toying with the idea of defaulting on your home loan or joining a Russian acrobat troupe for a while now, go for it. Last week, students on UCT’s upper campus were the victims of random and ferocious pamphlet bombings by people wearing “May 21, 2011” T-shirts. Naturally lured in […]

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Word on the street is that a valet attendant employed by the four star Grand Daddy on Long Street may have allegedly abused his position last Saturday night. And when we say “abused his position”, what we really mean to say is “stole a Grand Daddy client’s Mini Cooper Sport, and wrecked it Jub Jub […]

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The world is mourning a legend. Paul the psychic octopus has died at his home at the Oberhausen Sea Life Centre in Germany. His death has been expected however, as octpuses (I prefer octpi) generally only live for a couple of years. Paul was born in January 2008.

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It’s been a crazy last few weeks that saw Tiger back in the rough after a porn star released some pretty raunchy text messages, Ernie wine win again and Warnie release an underwear line. What a genius initiative by Warnie to release his new range of ‘Spinners’ jocks and socks. Blokes already have no idea when […]

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And it’s official (albeit possibly the biggest understatement of the year), India have gone cricket bev*k once again. Today see’s the opening of IPL3 and the subcontinent couldn’t be happier to have their tournament back from the Republic. And I’m not using the phrase ‘bev*k’ lightly. Taking the IPL away from India for a year is […]

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Quite happy to have their two cents featured in the comments section of the “defamatory” articles we wrote, Darnell International have involved their lawyers and are now demanding that the articles (here and here) be taken down. Here is the letter from Darnell’s lawyers: Click image to enlarge letter The fact that it is number […]

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It’s not often that I give away trade secrets on how to be an awesome individual. But when I see the lack of knowledge resulting in pain for you, my treasured 2oceansvibers, then I realise that I have an obligation to tell you. Take for instance my special tuna mayonnaise that I make The Dude […]

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My buddy David Grier is in the mix again – and this time is slightly different to his earlier vibes, when he completed the first ever joint continuous run of the Great Wall of China, some 4000km in 98 days. Ja, I thought that might refresh your memory! So check this out – he’s taking […]

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Well we’ve hit the 100 day mark, before the 2010 World Cup kicks off in South Africa. There is so much to look forward to and we, here at 2oceansvibe, are electric with antipasta anticipation! Sorry, I was in Italiano mode back there, because I’ve managed to get my grubby little paws on these shots […]

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Remember when you were a kid, and all you wanted to be when you grew up was Tiger Woods!? He was loaded, had a Scandinavian wife and ate salmon off Angelina Jolie for breakfast. He was the American Dream. Well, it seems those days are gone. (Even though some would argue that there are a […]

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I’m writing from a Vida e Café. I feel like an overpaid Generations actor that drives a mini-cooper. It feels nice. So, after some great suggestions and plenty of foraging, I’ve managed to put together the first five, of what will finally become the inaugural, proudly South African, SAWAG Top 10. Now, when I read that […]

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Jumping jellyfish! Bafana Bafana have just won two games in one week! Sure, it was only Swaziland and Zimbabwe, but it’s a start. It’s like a heated game of Risk – you need to get people on Papua New Guinea and conquer the small countries before you can win. With only 132 days, 17 hours […]

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They say it’s important to write your goals down – then they become more real and more attainable. Whilst this may be good in a business sense, some lists should perhaps never be written down. Take, for example, the case of Chris and Katie, the Asian kids whose sibling rivalry spun out of control. Read […]

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Nothing needs to be said. You’ll get the vibe as you read it. Just hold onto your seat – it’s toooo special! I just LOVED the comeback! No, I was JOKING!! Pick up the phone.. Brilliant! *cough* …evil, twisted cow. [thanks marcus]

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I finally grew tired of pimple-faced teenagers pestering me about why I hadn’t joined Twitface yet. So yesterday I sat down and opened my MyTube web browser and decided it was time to hunker down for a month to learn how to work this seemingly silly but – according to my Google machine – financially […]

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I’ve always got time for has-been seasoned professionals of the game. It’s those conversations that start with ‘I remember the time’ that trigger something in my brain which puts me into nostalgia mode. That’s the mode where the little leprechauns in my head pull up small ottomans closer to their leprechaun-sized couches and kick back […]

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I know what you’re thinking. How can it get to this level? It’s quite silly, really – it’s like we’re playing this game on “easy” mode.. Behold, the ULTIMATE Christmas gift.. Due to the overwhelming amount of awesome videos on 2oceansvibe, you can’t be expected to watch it all – and let’s face it, not […]

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I’m not usually one for getting star struck, but even I rolled out of bed this morning, irrigated the Gobi desert in my mouth, and rang myself to call in sick with football fever. It’s the 2010 World Cup draw tonight and the last time I was this excited was when I realised a mince […]

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