So the European Space Agency has had a bit of a revelation, and they’ve struck upon the idea to build a “remote access toolkit to rebuild the human race” on the moon. In other words, said toolkit is what evil geniuses refer to as a “doomsday ark”. Apparently, the ark will contain the essentials of […]

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The winter is getting pretty chilly, I’m not gonna lie. But when Christina’s presenting the weather on SABC3, I get two minutes of summer. Hi there, Christina…

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We’ve debated it, we’ve dealt with it, we’ve heard that it’s really bad for your hearing (well, we actually read that, we’re completely void to the world of sound now). Hell, we’ve exported it to the world. There is only one last thing to ask of the vuvuzela.

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There’s a crisis in the Middle East, ladies and gentlemen. For centuries, the mullet has stood on the threshold of visual offense and radical expression of freedom. And in yet another move to isolate itself from the global Wayne’s World generation, Iran has banned that most majestic and elusive of creatures, the mullet. Imagine a […]

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When you think “Irish movie”, what’s the first thing that pops into your head? You think dreary coastlines, people with a strange affinity for potatoes, seaweed and fish (usually together in a pie), the IRA and The Cranberries. At a push, you might be thinking Gerard Butler and posthumous love letters (why, Gerard, why?). But […]

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Okay, so some of you may have sniffed out the Bulwer-Lytton Award in the press recently. In a nutshell, it’s an annual prize for the most heinously horrible complete sentence known to the English language, penned in the year of the award. No, the IOL sub-editors did not clinch the prize this year. Without further […]

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No spice, the Dutch soccer team needs a place to stay. While the Uruguayans were getting an undeserved peaceful night’s sleep in Newlands (despite a small Twitter campaign calling for Capetonians to please “not” blow vuvuzelas and bang drums outside their rooms), the dutchies were bumming around the Cape of Good Hope looking for a […]

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Sydney Restaurant, Mundo Global Tapas, may have a silly sounding name, but they are rocking the their technological potential as an eatery. Picture this: You walk into a restaurant, and instead of being handed the usual crusty leather-bound tome of a menu fitted with pseudo-brass corners, you’re handed an iPad. You think, “Cool! A pre-drinks […]

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In the most stunningly apathetic move since Marie Antoinette told the dirty kids to shove off and eat their cake, Moscow’s regional governor suggested that residents should buy a helicopter if they’re suffering with road traffic congestion. “I fly in a helicopter. (You) should also buy helicopters instead of cars – then you do not […]

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The smaller half of Die Antwoord’s vocal duo, Yolandi Vi$$er, has just klapped Hollywood in the hol, ek se. She was approached by some corporate naaiers who tjooned her to play the main betty in a movie-film version of Stieg Larsson’s The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Moreover, my pedigree chums, the film is to […]

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As we wrap up this eventful week with the news that Jackie Selebi has been shafted, there’s no better browsing than a bizarre but thoroughly humurous site, Accidental Penis. It’s not the “I was on steroids for five years as a professional woman body builder and ended up with an accidental penis” kind of accidental […]

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Rosebud, the marijuana lifestyle magazine. The guy in the photo is James Daly, the editor of this new print publication. What’s wrong with this picture? Well, I dunno about you, but that guy seems a little paranoid weary of the camera. But that’s to be expected, because the man is […]

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iPad dummies are available for $49, no word of lies. Yep, that’s 100% genuine fake replica right there. The dimensions are exactly the same, the weight is similar, and the plastic of the replica bears a striking resemblance to the metal and glass of the real deal. But, sadly, the brains are all missing. Where […]

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I was born and raised on the North Shore of Oahu, Hawaii. At 17 I was the youngest invitee to make the finals at the Pipeline Masters. A week later my career as a pro surfer ended when an accident at the Pipeline put 150 stitches in my head. So, I turned to music and […]

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Mahendra Raghunath is back at the SABC news room. After a lengthy employer-employee dispute that was sparked by a little alleged insider information trading by Raghunath to a few Sunday newspapers, the SABC has finally caved. South Africa’s favourite mortal news caster (the everlasting Riaan Cruywagen be praised) is soon to be back on our […]

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This has been in the news cycle for about a week now, so it’s not exactly hot off the press stuff. Nevertheless, I thought you ought to know that a restaurant in Arizona is GRINDING UP OUR EFFING LIONS FOR BURGER MEAT. Didn’t any of those cruel bastards watch the lion king? I’m not feeling […]

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I was feeling particularly generous this morning, so I decided to find a solution to Seth’s toast problem. Enter the personal flame thrower. How awesome is this? For just a thousand US dollars, you can have hard toast whenever, and wherever you want. And there’s an added benefit, Seth. Talking to the manager is effective, […]

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A new study suggests that people prefer to travel South. Real-world experiences underlie avoidance of northern routes, Brunyé proposes. Young children learn that as objects and locations get higher, they become harder to attain. Examples include reaching for a toy on the counter, climbing the stairs and jumping. An ingrained notion that “up is difficult” […]

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The best thing about the Eyjafjallajokull eruption, besides its name, was the brace of rocking pictures that it produced. At the forefront of the photographic excellence was the Boston Globe. Luckily, the guys at the Boston Globe, in addition to being unbelievable photographers, also have a great sense of humour. So ask yourself, what’s the […]

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Remember the time when you were talking to that perfectly normal friend-of-a-friend at a braai? He was into futures trading or whatever, and didn’t have any abnormal ticks of any kind. A totally enjoyable human being. And then, WHAM, he tells you he’s crazy about Lego. Thirty years old, and still clinging to Lego. You […]

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The number of small but pleasing World Cup software add-ons is growing by the day. Remember the little Google Maps vuvuzela man? Cool stuff like that. Of course they’re trivial gimmicks, but they’re official tips of the cap to our lovely country, so it gives me great pleasure to present YouTube‘s World Cup gimmick offering.

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A lot of people have had their hearts broken in this world. What’s your tale? Maybe it’s the guy in your office, he’s perfect, and you’re invisible. Maybe your wife wakes up after 30 years of blissful marriage and tells you that from here on in, her name is Gerald. Or maybe you walked in […]

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ThinkGeek.com, one of the greatest online stores ever to have existed in the civilisation of humankind, is selling Canned Unicorn meat (“a great source of sparkles!”). Let’s just enjoy that for a moment. Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go. What you don’t know is […]

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Wow. You know when an entire society grows up with a certain ultra-influential cartoon character, and that cartoon character subtly peddles cocaine to other cartoon characters, and then suddenly in the 1970s, when all the guys and girls who grew up with that character become the first generation to vigorously export cocaine around the world? […]

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Remember the “alleged” tale of the Grand Daddy Valet who stole a customer vehicle and rolled it 70 kilometres away in Blue Downs? The Grand Daddy Hotel left a comment on that story. Let’s enjoy it with our morning coffee: A response to this post from the Grand Daddy: It is regrettably true that this […]

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FireFox, Safari, Internet Explorer, Chrome, Opera…Bloggers can get pretty tetchy when it comes to their choice of internet browser. Which is why Caldwell Tanner, a cartoonist over at CollegeHumor.com threw together this helpful pictorial guide. I think it captures the nuanced differences between world’s most prominent browsers. And nuances are what good cartooning is all […]

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Bafana Bafana needs a lot of help to get through to the next round of the World Cup. Some might even say they need a miracle. Others, however, might say that that all they need is a little muti (traditional medicine). Our favourite news service, the foul-mouthed News24, came up with this gem of a […]

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A few decades after its conception, the Star Wars lightsaber is here, and like everything worth buying, it’s on sale on the internet. But this is apparently not a very good thing, seeing as the lightsaber is both cheap and 1000 times more potent than those commercial laser pointers that drive your pets insane, and […]

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More often than not, the random assortment of gadgets that find their way onto my browser have absolutely no use whatsoever. But every now and then I stumble upon (trademark!) inventions that can truly improve our quality of life.

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Most of us, myself included, are basking in self-pity following last nights ill-fated football escapades involving one Diego “Satan” Forlan and Bafana Bafana. But let’s cheer up, folks. No one’s slaughtering us on our living room couches for actually watching the game. Not like in Somalia, anyhow. Two Somali football fans were leaded where they […]

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